Coping With The Loss of a Loved One
- John Travolta’s 24-year-old daughter Ella Bleu is paying tribute to her late mom Kelly Preston, who died from breast cancer at age 57 in 2020, with a new single called “Little Bird.”
- Preston passed away after a 2-year battle with breast cancer. Since her passing, Travolta has been a single dad to their three children—the late Jett Travolta, Ella Bleu Travolta, 24, and Benjamin Travolta, 13.
- Dealing with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you don’t have to forget them can be a great place to start.
- Grief is an unavoidable and important part of healing following the loss of a loved one to cancer, and talk therapy can be a useful tool to cope.
Ella Bleu’s emotional song has allowed the “Grease” star’s daughter to dive into her memories after her mom’s tragic passing. The beginning of the song’s lyrics are as follows, “Little bird, don’t you cry/Would you stay a while before I fly?/Close your eyes, won’t you smile?/Sing a lullaby, it’ll be alright.”
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Ella Bleu told People prior to her song’s release, “[‘Little Bird’ is] about holding onto those pure relationships that you have with people that you lost and really just listening to yourself and staying true to that relationship with that person,
“It’s sort of the viewpoint of a mama bird talking to a baby bird and just not letting any other interference get in between it, because your true instincts were there all along.”
She continued, “It had been a couple years, obviously, since my mom’s passing, so I could look at the whole situation and take a step back from it and see what I wanted to communicate on it and what I wanted to communicate to her and what I was feeling in general.
“So that’s sort of where I was on this, and that then completed the EP and it felt really good.”
As for the music video accompanying the heartfelt song, which has been shared on YouTube, Ella Bleu says the footage is a “big compilation of some of my favorite memories,” which she aimed to come across as “real and personal as possible.”
She explained, “I really wanted it to also be a celebration of life. I think that’s so important, even when you lose someone, for it to be a celebration of their life [because] you got the chance to be with that person for as long as you did and you got to have these memories.”
Her dad also took to Instagram to commemorate her new song’s release, writing alongside a photo of her, “This is a very special day Ella is releasing her new single called ‘Little bird.’
“This song and video is an homage to her mother, and it also happens to be my wedding anniversary with Kelly. It is one of the songs on her upcoming album that I helped produce – please enjoy!”
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Just as her dad does, Ella Bleu often takes to social media to share sweet memories of her and her mom. In a recent Mother’s Day post, she wrote, “I’ve learned a lot from all of the strong and powerful women in my life, I thank you all for being such wonderful role models.
“I miss and love you, mama. Happy Mothers Day to all of the wonderful moms out there!”
And just one day after her mom’s passing, she wrote in another post, “I have never met anyone as courageous, strong, beautiful and loving as you.
“Anyone who is lucky enough to have known you or to have ever been in your presence will agree that you have a glow and a light that never ceases to shine and that makes anyone around you feel instantly happy. Thank you for being there for me no matter what.”
She concluded, “Thank you for your love. Thank you for your help and thank you for making this world a better place. You have made life so beautiful and I know you will continue to do so always. I love you so much mama.”
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John Travolta’s Family’s Loss & Kelly’s Breast Cancer Battle
John Travolta, and his children, Ella Bleu and Benjamin, lost his wife [their mom] Kelly Preston in July 2020. She fought her breast cancer privately for two years before passing from the disease at age 57. While we don’t know the specifics of Preston’s treatment, we do know that breast cancer is typically treated with chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery.
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After she passed, Travolta thanked doctors at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston in a tribute post for his wife on Instagram, on July 13, 2020.
Alongside a beautiful photo of his wife, Travolta wrote, “It is with a very heavy heart that I inform you that my beautiful wife Kelly has lost her two-year battle with breast cancer. She fought a courageous fight with the love and support of so many.
“My family and I will forever be grateful to her doctors and nurses at MD Anderson Cancer Center, all the medical centers that have helped, as well as her many friends and loved ones who have been by her side.”
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He continued, “Kelly’s love and life will always be remembered. I will be taking some time to be there for my children who have lost their mother, so forgive me in advance if you don’t hear from us for a while. But please know that I will feel your outpouring of love in the weeks and months ahead as we heal.
All my love, JT.”
Travolta and his wife kept Preston’s cancer battle relatively private, which is why the world was so stunned when she passed as most people didn’t know she was sick.
Health is a deeply personal matter, and it’s up to you and you alone to determine who has the right and privilege to know about your diagnosis.
It’s important to do what feels right to you after your diagnosis, and not cave into any pressure to share your diagnosis with others before you’re ready or to share it more widely than you’d like. You have autonomy over your health and the sharing of any news related to it.
Expert Resources On Coping With Loss
- How to Handle the Emotional Toll of Caring for a Loved One With Cancer: Prioritizing Your Mental Health
- How to Be Realistically Optimistic: Coping With Mental Health Long-Term
- Mental Health: Understanding the Three Wellsprings of Vitality
- Mental Health and Cancer — The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
- Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
- Mental Health: Coping With Feelings of Anger
- Cancer Support Groups Aren’t for Everyone — We All Have Our Own Way of Coping
Dr. Marianna Strongin, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Strong In Therapy Psychology, told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview that whether someone shares this heavy news is their personal preference.
“I recommend sharing, I’m a therapist,” Strongin says with a laugh, “but to whom and how many people is up to the person (with cancer).”
There are plenty of people who have chosen not to share their cancer battle publicly. While Strongin says that she encourages sharing, she also recognizes there’s also a personality factor at play when it comes to whether a person shares this deeply personal news; some people are more willing to share, and some are just more private, Strongin adds. The difference, she says, is what’s the process in sharing versus not sharing.
Coping After Losing A Parent To Cancer
Going through stages of grief is something everyone deals with after a friend or loved one passes away from cancer. When you lose a parent to cancer, especially if it happens at a younger age, that feeling of loss and sadness can really linger.
But that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.
‘Therapy Saved My Life’: After Losing A Loved One, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
In the case of Camila Legaspi, who lost her mom to breast cancer when she was in high school, she previously told SurvivorNet that the tragedy of losing a parent as a teenager kind of defined her high school experience.
After going off to college, she was able to turn that huge sense of loss that she felt into inspiration for creating.
“I actually took this sadness and let it motivate me,” Legaspi told SurvivorNet. “I learned that it’s OK to be sad sometimes. It’s OK to carry sadness with you. It’s not always a bad thing. It makes you who you are and it gives you a story to tell and it helps you teach other people to cope with their sadness.”
Legaspi, who is one of four siblings, described her mom as a very creative person. She said she turned to writing as an outlet and used her mother’s creativity as a motivator.
She went to Princeton University and got involved with the school’s magazine. Legaspi explained that instead of thinking of the loss of her mother as something terrible that happened to her family, she has let it serve as inspiration for poetry, fiction, or whatever else she may be inspired to write.
“I’ve learned to have it impact me in a positive way, and have it not just be a sad story, instead, I’m using it for a better purpose,” Legaspi said.
In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Caleb Farley opened up to us about his mother’s battle with breast cancer.
His mother fought two battles with cancer and he watched as she went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy while still working and taking care of their family.
Having lost his mom to breast cancer in 2018, he knew he wanted to be extra careful during the pandemic. When he had the chance to play as a cornerback for the Virginia Tech Hokies football team, he backed out due to COVID-19 concerns.
Farley announced the news of his decision not to play with Virginia Tech in an Instagram video saying, in part, “I cannot afford to lose another parent or loved one. Though the competitor in me badly wants to play this season, I cannot ignore what’s going on in my heart, and I must make the decision that brings me the most peace.”
(Farley trained for the NFL Draft instead of playing for Virginia Tech, and his efforts paid off. In the first round of the 2021 NFL Draft, the Tennessee Titans selected Farley as the number 22 overall pick.)
Today, Farley is taking the many life lessons he learned from her and applying them to whatever challenges he faces in life.
Coping With Grief
Grief is known to “come in waves” and never fully leave you after a loved one has died. To grieve is to have fully loved someone, and that’s a beautiful thing, but the process of grief, can be fulling of missing, longing, and sadness.
Coping with grief after the loss of a loved one, or after a diagnosis of a disease like cancer, can be helped by seeing a psychiatrist, counselor, or oncological social worker.
Dealing With Grief After a Cancer Diagnosis
You don’t have to suffer through your grief alone. Seek outside support when you’ve lost someone close to you.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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