Jill Biden Says Her ‘Prayer Partner’ Helped Her Grieve the Loss of Her Son to Brain Cancer; How to Cope with the Loss of a Loved One to Cancer

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“I felt betrayed by my faith, broken,” the first lady explained at a celebration for Pastor Charles B. Jackson Sr.'s 50th year of service at Brookland Baptist. “I just couldn't go [back to church]. I couldn't even pray. I wondered if I would ever feel joy again.”

It wasn’t until she was on the road campaigning for her husband’s Democratic presidential nomination in 2019, that she came back to her faith and addressed her grief with the help of a friend.

Robin Jackson, the wife of the Brookland Baptist Church‘s pastor, approached Jill when she went in to a service with current president Joe Biden in May 2019. Sitting down beside her, Robin asked Jill to be her “prayer partner” when the Bidens worshipped at the South Carolina church.

“And I don't know if she sensed how moved I had been by the service,” Jill Biden said. “I don't know if she could still see the grief that I feel still hides behind my smile. But I do know that when she spoke it was as if God was saying to me, ‘OK, Jill. You had enough time. It's time to come home,’… And in that moment, I felt for the first time that there was a path for my recovering my faith.”

For Jill, it was Robin’s “kindness, mercy and grace” that “pushed past the callouses on [her] heart.” According to Jill, the church and surely her connection with Robin changed her life.

“It really helped me find my faith again,” she said on The Kelly Clarkson Show.

Faith and Cancer

For some people, turning to faith can be a great way to cope with the emotional impacts of cancer. Monica Layton, for example, is an ovarian cancer survivor who believes in the power of faith during a fight with cancer. She turned to her church congregation for support as she battled cancer during the COVID-19 pandemic and then went through recovery.

"[I've] gone to the same church for a long time, so it's like another family that really supports me," Layton told SurvivorNet in a previous interview. "We're Episcopalian, and when I was having surgery my priest came to the hospital and stayed and prayed with my family the whole time and it was a long surgery. And then he came back to the hospital every day to pray with me."

Ovarian cancer survivor Monica Layton shares how her church was her biggest support system

In addition to praying for her, Layton's church also sent flowers, cards and a prayer blanket and often visited her.

"They were so kind," Layton said. "I think my faith has been very important, crucial for me. Just the prayer really helps, I think."

Losing a Loved One to Cancer

As Jill Biden can surely attest to, grief is inevitable and essential when you're forced to say goodbye to a loved one. There’s no one way to cope, but, in a previous interview, Doug Wendt shared his thoughts on the grieving process with SurvivorNet after losing his wife Alice to ovarian cancer.

"I Don't Want to Move On; I Do Want To Move Forward": Doug Wendt On Being A Caregiver and Tragically Losing His Wife to Ovarian Cancer

"We're never gonna move on, I don't even think I want to move on, but I do want to move forward," Wendt said. "That's an important distinction, and I encourage anybody who goes through this journey as a caregiver and then has to face loss, to think very carefully about how to move forward."

Everyone's journey of grief looks different, but therapy and support groups can also be wonderful options to explore. It's also important to keep in mind that time does not heal everything, but it certainly helps.

In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Camila Legaspi shared her own advice on grief after her mother died of breast cancer. For her, therapy made all the difference.

"Therapy Saved My Life": After Losing A Loved One, Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help

"Therapy saved my life," Legaspi said. "I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life, because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on. Going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings."

Legaspi also wanted to remind people that even though it can be an incredibly difficult experience to process, things will get better.

"When you lose someone, it's really, really, really hard," Legaspi said. "I'm so happy that I talked to my therapist. Keep your chin up, and it's going to be OK. No matter what happens, it's going to be OK."

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