We can’t predict how our loved ones will react when they find out we have cancer, and often they don’t do what we hope (or need). For one woman recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer, we are guessing her husband’s reaction wasn’t what she was expecting; he walked out on her. And as it turns out, losing touch with loved ones during a cancer journey is a lot more common than some may realize.
In what may seem like an extreme reaction, a 33-year old man anonymously admitted on a Reddit thread that he had walked out on his wife after they found out she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and she would have to undergo a total hysterectomy — which would mean she couldn’t have children. According to his post, he had been pushing for children for years, and once he found out he couldn’t have biological children, he left the hospital. It’s unknown whether the two are still together or if they have reconnected since the diagnosis.
Related: ‘Cancer Ghosting’ Is Real — Many Survivors Say Friends Suddenly Disappear After a Diagnosis
Following a cancer diagnosis, a strong support system is an invaluable resource and going through your cancer journey gives many people perspective who has your back. At least, that’s what breast cancer survivor Amy Grantham learned from her experience. According to her, she learned who her real friends were throughout her cancer journey, and even though losing friends was difficult, it made her appreciate those around her even more.
“I very quickly learned who was really there in my life and who was just kind of on the outskirts of it when it was good for them or convenient for them,” she told SurvivorNet. “And it cut right through to the people that are most important in my life. Every single person that I’ve talked to and that I know who had cancer says the exact same thing … it really shows you who your tru -blue friends are that are around you and who the bullshitters are.”
Breast cancer survivor Amy Grantham says she learned who her real friends were during cancer treatment
“Cancer Ghosting” Is More Common Than You Think
“Ghosting” is a term used when someone you’re in contact with stops talking to you, or connecting with you at all. Oftentimes, this is used in terms of dating, but it can also happen to those going through difficult challenges, and unfortunately cancer patients have experienced this first hand.
An informal research survey conducted by War on Cancer, a social networking app for survivors, found that 65 percent of surveyed survivors said they had friends or relatives who cut contact or pulled away from them after they were diagnosed. The reason for ghosting is often unknown, but some survivors suspect it’s because their friends don’t know how to handle supporting someone through such a challenging process.
Related: Finding Support Through Her Church — Ovarian Cancer Survivor Robyn Smith’s Story
Bianca Muniz, who at 24 years has already been through both ovarian and breast cancer, told SurvivorNet that some of her friendships ended because certain people just couldn’t understand what she was going through.
“I’ve lost a lot of friends … because people don’t really know how to deal with what I’m going through,” she told SurvivorNet. “I didn’t care to talk about what was happening with me. I just wanted things to be normal — and they didn’t really understand how to do that.”
Two-time cancer survivor Bianca Muniz explains how she found a support system during treatment
Many survivors have said connecting with support groups helped them find life-long friendship and it was helpful to meet those who have gone through the same experience. Not only does it offer support, but it also allows patients to talk freely about their emotions without being concerned with how their loved ones can handle it.
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
We can’t predict how our loved ones will react when they find out we have cancer, and often they don’t do what we hope (or need). For one woman recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer, we are guessing her husband’s reaction wasn’t what she was expecting; he walked out on her. And as it turns out, losing touch with loved ones during a cancer journey is a lot more common than some may realize.
In what may seem like an extreme reaction, a 33-year old man anonymously admitted on a Reddit thread that he had walked out on his wife after they found out she had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and she would have to undergo a total hysterectomy — which would mean she couldn’t have children. According to his post, he had been pushing for children for years, and once he found out he couldn’t have biological children, he left the hospital. It’s unknown whether the two are still together or if they have reconnected since the diagnosis.
Read More Related: ‘Cancer Ghosting’ Is Real — Many Survivors Say Friends Suddenly Disappear After a DiagnosisFollowing a cancer diagnosis, a strong support system is an invaluable resource and going through your cancer journey gives many people perspective who has your back. At least, that’s what breast cancer survivor Amy Grantham learned from her experience. According to her, she learned who her real friends were throughout her cancer journey, and even though losing friends was difficult, it made her appreciate those around her even more.
“I very quickly learned who was really there in my life and who was just kind of on the outskirts of it when it was good for them or convenient for them,” she told SurvivorNet. “And it cut right through to the people that are most important in my life. Every single person that I’ve talked to and that I know who had cancer says the exact same thing … it really shows you who your tru -blue friends are that are around you and who the bullshitters are.”
Breast cancer survivor Amy Grantham says she learned who her real friends were during cancer treatment
“Cancer Ghosting” Is More Common Than You Think
“Ghosting” is a term used when someone you’re in contact with stops talking to you, or connecting with you at all. Oftentimes, this is used in terms of dating, but it can also happen to those going through difficult challenges, and unfortunately cancer patients have experienced this first hand.
An informal research survey conducted by War on Cancer, a social networking app for survivors, found that 65 percent of surveyed survivors said they had friends or relatives who cut contact or pulled away from them after they were diagnosed. The reason for ghosting is often unknown, but some survivors suspect it’s because their friends don’t know how to handle supporting someone through such a challenging process.
Related: Finding Support Through Her Church — Ovarian Cancer Survivor Robyn Smith’s Story
Bianca Muniz, who at 24 years has already been through both ovarian and breast cancer, told SurvivorNet that some of her friendships ended because certain people just couldn’t understand what she was going through.
“I’ve lost a lot of friends … because people don’t really know how to deal with what I’m going through,” she told SurvivorNet. “I didn’t care to talk about what was happening with me. I just wanted things to be normal — and they didn’t really understand how to do that.”
Two-time cancer survivor Bianca Muniz explains how she found a support system during treatment
Many survivors have said connecting with support groups helped them find life-long friendship and it was helpful to meet those who have gone through the same experience. Not only does it offer support, but it also allows patients to talk freely about their emotions without being concerned with how their loved ones can handle it.
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
