Fighting through the Heartbreak of Cancer
- Gill Duffus-Simpson lost both of her parents after their battles with cancer. Following her own fight against the disease alongside them, she’s recently been hit with another breast cancer diagnosis.
- The American Cancer Society (ACS) recommends women begin mammogram screening for breast cancer at age 45. It's also important to be on top of self breast exams. If you ever feel a lump in your breast, it's important to be vigilant and speak with your doctor.
- Grief is an unavoidable and important part of healing following the loss of a loved one to cancer. But things like therapy can help.
Tragedy struck Duffus-Simpson’s family beginning in 2011 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer at 32, her father was diagnosed with bowel cancer and her mother was also diagnosed with breast cancer. All three underwent various treatments, but Duffus-Simpson says the cancer journey took a toll on her mother.
Read More"Doctors told me it was a cyst, and not to worry about it, so my dad paid for me to go private," she said. "Within three days I had my diagnosis. The surgeon sat me down and told me I had cancer in both breasts."
Hearing that her cancer had come "back with a vengeance" was shocking to say the least.
"I've always been so grateful for my life after my first diagnosis. But nothing can prepare you," she said. "I got on with my life, I had a child, I got married, I was doing everything people do in life. But I obviously took my eye off my (breasts) and got a wee bit complacent."
Duffus-Simpson is still fighting the disease, but her father’s second battle ended quickly after it began. He died in the hospital at age 76 this past August just six days after his diagnosis. The heartbreaking loss has affected Duffus-Simpson, but also her 5-year-old son who’s now even more worried about his mother’s fate. "Cancer doesn't mean death," she’s tried to reassure him.
Three days before her 43rd birthday on Sept. 13, Duffus-Simpson underwent a double mastectomy. Then she received the news that she would need intravenous chemotherapy followed by 10 years of oral chemotherapy.
"Alot like my loss of my parents within 5 yrs (with cancer) I need to find the battle, find it within me to fight," she wrote in a Facebook post. "This disease has destroyed my family… but it won’t destroy me, my morals, my values, my ethics."
More recently on Oct. 16, she shared the news of her pathology results.
"The pathology results were not as good as we were hoping for, but we certainly won’t be giving up or in," she wrote in another post. "It’s been confirmed that I’ve 2 types of cancer, and one has spread beyond the lymph nodes and into blood vessels. I never thought I’d say this, but chemo can’t come quick enough! Today was the best medicine, family time……precious memory building with my lads. A walk down the beach, to the sea….much like life ebbs and flows. Thank you to my lads for a wonderful day."
Understanding Breast Cancer
In her most recent update, Gill Duffus-Simpson shared that she currently had "2 types of cancer." And while we don’t know the extent of her diagnosis, we do know that breast cancer is a part of the equation.
Screening for breast cancer is typically done via mammogram, which looks for lumps in the breast tissue and signs of cancer. And while mammograms aren't perfect, they are still a great way to begin annual screening. The American Cancer Society (ACS) recommends women begin mammogram screening for breast cancer at age 45. It's also important to be on top of self breast exams. If you ever feel a lump in your breast, it's important to be vigilant and speak with your doctor. Voicing your concerns as soon as you have them can lead to earlier cancer detection which, in turn, can lead to better outcomes.
RELATED: When Should I Get a Mammogram?
There are many treatment options for people with this disease, but treatment depends greatly on the specifics of each case. Identifying these specifics means looking into whether the cancerous cells have certain receptors. These receptors the estrogen receptor, the progesterone receptor and the HER2 receptor can help identify the unique features of the cancer and help personalize treatment.
"These receptors, I like to imagine them like little hands on the outside of the cell, they can grab hold of what we call ligands, and these ligands are essentially the hormones that may be circulating in the bloodstream that can then be pulled into this cancer cell and used as a fertilizer, as growth support for the cells," Dr. Elizabeth Comen, a medical oncologist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, tells SurvivorNet.
The Unique Features of Breast Cancer: Deciding the Right Course of Treatment
One example of a type of ligand that can stimulate a cancer cell is the hormone estrogen, hence why an estrogen receptor positive breast cancer will grow when stimulated by estrogen. For these cases, your doctor may offer treatment that specifically targets the estrogen receptor. But for HER2 positive breast cancers, therapies that uniquely target the HER2 receptor may be the most beneficial.
Losing a Loved One to Cancer
As Gill Duffus-Simpson surely can, and her father surely could, attest to, grief is inevitable and essential when you're forced to say goodbye to a loved one.
"After my mum passed, my dad would carry her urn around everywhere," Duffus-Simpson said of her father following the mother’s death. "He would sleep with her every night, take her up to bed and tuck her in. On her birthday he would always do something special for her.
"His great difficulty in life afterwards was he wanted to die to be reunited with her but also wanted to be here to see his grandchildren grow."
There's no one way to cope, but Doug Wendt shared his thoughts on the grieving process in a previous interview with SurvivorNet after losing his wife Alice to ovarian cancer.
"We're never gonna move on, I don't even think I want to move on, but I do want to move forward," Wendt said. "That's an important distinction, and I encourage anybody who goes through this journey as a caregiver and then has to face loss, to think very carefully about how to move forward."
Everyone's journey of grief looks different, but therapy and support groups can also be wonderful options to explore. It's also important to keep in mind that time does not heal everything, but it certainly helps.
In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Camila Legaspi shared her own advice on grief after her mother died of breast cancer. For her, therapy made all the difference.
"Therapy Saved My Life": After Losing A Loved One, Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help
"Therapy saved my life," Legaspi said. "I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life, because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on. Going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings."
Legaspi also wanted to remind people that even though it can be an incredibly difficult experience to process, things will get better.
"When you lose someone, it's really, really, really hard," Legaspi said. "I'm so happy that I talked to my therapist. Keep your chin up, and it's going to be OK. No matter what happens, it's going to be OK."
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