Coping With The Loss Of a Parent
- Actress Shannen Doherty, 53, shared that she had been wanting to get a tribute tattoo to honor her late father in a new episode of her podcast.
- During a conversation on the podcast with her ex, Rob Weiss, she shared she wouldn’t get the ink due to fear of infection as she battles breast cancer.
- Doherty was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. It went into remission in 2017 but returned as stage 4 cancer in 2019. Her breast cancer has since spread to her brain causing her to undergo surgery to remove a tumor.
- Metastatic breast cancer, also called “stage four” breast cancer, means that the cancer has spread, or metastasized, beyond the breasts to other parts of the body. There is technically no cure, but advancements in treatments can dramatically improve outcomes and that is something to be hopeful for.
- Dealing with the loss of a loved one is incredibly challenging, but taking time to honor their place in your life — and reaching out for support when you need it — can help a great deal. Friendship, like what Doherty has with her ex Weiss, is also helpful throughout adversity.
The “Charmed” star told her ex fiance, writer, director, and executive producer Rob Weiss, about why she’s unable to get inked during a recent episode of her podcast.
Read More
Doherty explained further, “I’m just like it’s alright, I don’t need it. It’s also once you get, you know, like I can’t get infections … not that you’re gonna get something from the tattoo.”
RELATED: How to Protect Yourself From Infections During Chemotherapy Treatment for Ovarian Cancer
She then pointed out the tattoo she already has “looks like an anchor,” likening it to the fictional cartoon character “Popeye the Sailor.” She revealed that she added a band of flowers to cover up Weiss’ name.
View this post on Instagram
She jokingly added, “I try to wear pants most of the time … It’s good for Halloween when I’m dressed as Popeye.”
Doherty’s late father, John Thomas Doherty Jr., passed away in November 2010 after battling various health issues. In a statement, issued by Doherty’s publicist in the wake of her dad’s death, the actress praised her dad as “greatest man in the world.”
“I love him with every inch of my being and cannot imagine life without him,” she added about her dad, who worked as banker in the family transportation business, according to CBS News.
Mental Health & Coping With Cancer
As for getting married again in the future, Doherty insists she doesn’t want to do that “grind” anymore.
Doherty explained to Weiss, “For me now, I don’t want to do the grind anymore in my life because it’s one of the beautiful things that cancer has really taught me, is to appreciate the peace.
“Appreciate the fact that even though my life is disrupted to a certain degree, just from cancer and treatments and all of that, it has brought me so much knowledge and changed me drastically as a human being. Changed me into a person that now really appreciates calm and appreciates that peace. And looks at certain situations and or certain people, and I now say, ‘That’s not worth it. It’s not worth my peace of mind. It’s not worth the disruption in my life.
“And that’s not for everyone, right? Thank god my parents were so dedicated to each other and stayed together, and they definitely went on a bit of a grind throughout their marriage at times, as everyone does. So, I think it’s beautiful that some people can do it. I just know for me, I just can’t do it anymore. And it doesn’t mean I don’t want a relationship.”
Shannen Doherty’s Cancer Battle
Shannen Doherty first received a breast cancer diagnosis in 2015 after she discovered a lump in her breast. For treatments the first time around, she underwent hormone therapy, a single mastectomy (the removal of all breast tissue from one breast), chemotherapy and radiation.
Sometimes Bad Things Happen — Enjoying Life, Even With Cancer
Then in 2017, Doherty was deemed to be in remission, however, the cancer returned just two years later in 2019 as metastatic, or stage four, breast cancer.
There is technically no cure for metastatic breast cancer, but that doesn’t mean people can’t live good, long lives with this stage of disease thanks to many advances in treatment.
Doherty took to Instagram at the start of 2023 to recap how her cancer fight is going. She underwent her first round of radiation to her head on Jan. 12, 2023, followed by brain surgery to remove and biopsy a tumor on Jan. 16, 2023. The surgery she underwent is called a craniotomy.
Several neurosurgeons tell SurvivorNet that the procedure can allow patients with cancer in their brain to live longer, more vibrant lives, and this appears to be the case with Doherty, who has become more candid amid cancer through her “Lets Be Clear” podcast.
Treating Metastatic Breast Cancer
Coping With Grief
Grief is known to “come in waves” and never fully leave you after a loved one has passed. To grieve is to have fully loved someone, and that’s a beautiful thing, but the process of grief, can be full of missing, longing, and sadness.
Seeing a psychiatrist, counselor, or oncological social worker helps many people cope with grief after the loss of a loved one or after a serious diagnosis of a disease like cancer.
Dealing With Grief After a Cancer Diagnosis
You don’t have to suffer through your grief alone. Seek outside support when you’ve lost someone close to you.
Coping With Fear Amid Loss or a Diagnosis
It’s important to remember that anxiety and fear are totally normal reactions to the news of cancer, or the loss of a loved one, and acknowledging these emotions can be therapeutic and important to the healing process.
“I think the most important advice I would give to someone who has just received a cancer diagnosis is to find people whom they find as a source of support. To allow themselves to go through all of the different emotional reactions to that news,” said Dr. Susan Parsons, Director of the Center for Health Solutions/Center on Child and Family Outcomes at Tufts Medical Center, in a prior interview with SurvivorNet.
Fear, Anger, Anxiety You’re Entitled To Your Emotions
“The anger, the frustration, the fear. The disappointment. Whatever those emotions are, figure out what’s important to you and find those people that can help you realize that,” Dr. Parsons explained.
In times of frustration, it can be useful to have a little bit of direction on specific ways to deal with it. A few of the most common ways to deal with fear and anxiety after a cancer diagnosis, that have helped people in the SurvivorNet community in the past, include:
1. Let your family and close friends know and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
2. Keep a journal. It can be extremely cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a nice journal and chronicle your different thoughts throughout the day.
3. Join a cancer support group. There are groups in nearly every community offering opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn incredibly helpful insight from others who can tell you about what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
4. Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.