Talking About Cancer With Kids & The Power of Connection
- Jessica Simpson’s daughter Maxwell said her 11th birthday wish was about hoping for her grandfather’s successful bone cancer treatment. The grandfather, Jessica’s father, has also previously battled prostate cancer.
- Just days after Maxwell made the wish, she found out her grandfather’s treatment was working.
- A widower of a brave cancer warrior previously spoke to SurvivorNet about how he and his late wife talked to their children about her cancer battle. He says “it’s important to be open with the kids as much as you can” and keep them in the loop about the trajectory of a loved one’s disease while being as gentle as possible.
- One cancer survivor advised other parents facing a cancer battle to show their kids “the stronger version of you” if you’re able.
Jessica, a 42-year-old businesswoman, fashion designer, singer and actress, is loving life with her beautiful family. She’s been married to her husband Eric Johnson, 43, since 2014, and the couple share three children together with Maxwell being the oldest.
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“[Maxwell] told me after she blew out HER 11 candles…’I made a wish that was for me and you and actually the whole family,'” Jessica wrote in her caption. “I said Maxi it should be your wish and she said ‘we have the same wishes Mom.’
“3 days later on our way back to Cali she overheard me reading a text from my Dad and asked my mom sitting next to her ‘GiGi if my birthday wish came true already can I say it out loud or do I still keep it to myself?’ My mom told her to share it with everyone if she wanted to, especially if it had already come true… Maxwell's birthday wish was for her Papa Joe's bone cancer treatment to work. It did.”
After revealing the selfless wish from her daughter, Jessica went on to say just how grateful she is to have a daughter like Maxwell someone who perfectly illustrates how “the faith of a child is what keeps all of us ALIVE.”
“Thank you Maxi Drew for usin' your wish on our family and most importantly, my Dad,” Jessica wrote. “You are mesmerizing, steadfast, intelligent, passionate, generous, loving, devoted, inspiring, enticing, confident, empathetic, powerful, intuitive, beautiful, DETERMINED, enlightened and FULL OF WONDER.”
Talking to Your Children about Cancer
It’s unclear exactly how Jessica Simpson has talked to her children about their grandfather’s cancer battles, but it’s likely she’s handled it well given her 11-year-old daughter’s mature and touching wish.
That being said, talking to your kids about cancer is no easy feat. Whether it’s you as the parent facing cancer or it’s another loved one, navigating the conversations with your kids about cancer can be very tricky.
Talking to Kids About Cancer: Be Open as Much as You Can
According to John Duberstein, it’s important to have an ongoing conversation with your children about the trajectory of a loved one’s disease while being as gentle as possible. Duberstein is the widower of metastatic breast cancer warrior Nina Riggs.
“I think it’s important to be open with the kids as much as you can, as much as you feel like they can handle,” he said. “But it’s also important to revisit it and not make assumptions.”
Duberstein and Riggs always tried to be honest with their children during their mother’s cancer battle, but they ran into issues when they found out the kids assumed Riggs was getting better because she was looking healthier on the surface.
"It was a real eye-opening moment for two people who felt like they were dealing really head-on with this stuff, talking to the kids," Duberstein said. "What Nina had to tell them was, 'I'm not ever going to get better. My cancer is not ever going to go away.' It was hard for them to hear even though they'd already been prepared and they’d already known that stuff."
Honesty can play a crucial role in handling cancer news with children, but Gina de Givenchy also says it’s important to show them as much strength as you can. She shared her cancer diagnosis with her then-12-year-old daughter the day after she found out she had breast cancer.
Telling Your Kids You Have Cancer 'When it Comes to Your Kids, You Want to Protect Them'
“It was just so overwhelming for me, and I didn’t want to freak out or break down when I was telling her,” she explained. “You know, she was 12 at the time, and I felt it was important to mask it because I really wanted her to know that I was going to be OK.”
De Givenchy didn’t want her daughter to see her looking “weak and sickly,” but she knew she couldn’t completely hide the realities of the experience. Still, she always tried to put on a brave face for her daughter.
“When it comes to your kids, I think you always want to sort of protect them,” she said. “If you can, show them the stronger version of you, lead by example type of experience.”
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