Coping With Losing a Child to Cancer
- Taylor Swift nearly broke the internet over the weekend with the release of Red (Taylor's Version), which features a song called Ronan.
- Ronan is about a little boy named Ronan. The song is based on the story and life experiences of Ronan's mother, Maya Thompson. Ronan died in 2011 after a hard-fought battle with neuroblastoma.
- Even though it's important for the child with cancer to have a support system, the parents dealing with the potential of losing their child need support, too. For Thompson, her blog and Taylor Swift’s song about her little boy serve as her support system.
Ronan (Taylor's Version), a song that isn't featured on the original 2012 release of Red, was previously a charity single released on Sept. 8, 2012 as part of the Stand Up to Cancer event. The song reached number 16 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and number 2 on the Digital Song Sales chart. Proceeds made from the Stand Up to Cancer go to cancer charities in the United States.
Read MoreDuring an exclusive interview with Variety in early 2020, Swift revealed that while her mom was going through treatment for cancer a second time, her doctors found a brain tumor. “And the symptoms of what a person goes through when they have a brain tumor is nothing like what we've ever been through with her cancer before. So it's just been a really hard time for us as a family."
But Ronan isn't about her mom.
The Story Behind Taylor Swift’s 'Ronan'
Ronan is about a little boy named Ronan. The song is based on the story and life experiences of Ronan's mother, Maya Thompson. Ronan died in May 2011 just three days after his fourth birthday after a hard-fought battle with neuroblastoma, a rare type of cancer that starts in certain very early forms of nerve cells, most often found in an embryo or fetus, according to the American Cancer Society.
Since 2010, when Ronan was diagnosed with cancer, Thompson has kept a blog about her son's cancer journey called Rockstar Ronan. Taylor Swift's song was inspired by what Thompson has chronicled in her blog for more than a decade now, although the song was written just two years after she started the blog.
The song will definitely tug at your heartstrings; some notable lyrics include: "I remember the drive home / When the blind hope turned to crying and screaming 'Why?' / Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say / About a beautiful boy who died."
Not only do fans, and Thompson, get to listen to Ronan on Red (Taylor's Version), there's also a music video that’s been released, which Thompson confirmed via Twitter last week.
This is how I'll be all day. I just listened AND watched Ronan, Taylor's version. I couldn't tell you about the music video until now. It is beyond perfection and I can't wait for you all to see it. @taylorswift13 You are one of the greatest loves of my life. TY for loving him. pic.twitter.com/MKDGmV67rH
Mama Maya (@rockstarronan) November 11, 2021
"This is how I'll be all day," she writes accompanied with a crying selfie. "I just listened AND watched 'Ronan, Taylor's Version.' I couldn’t tell you about the music video until now. It is beyond perfection and I can't wait for you all to see it. @taylorswift13 You are one of the greatest loves of my life. TY for loving him."
Coping With Losing a Child to Cancer
Any parent will tell you that their greatest fear is losing their child. And that fear sometimes becomes a reality when a child is diagnosed with cancer something that affects the entire family unit. And recovering after losing a loved one to cancer, especially a child, isn't a "one-and-done" process, many members of the SurvivorNet community tell us.
Dealing with the grief of losing a child and recovering from that experience is a highly personal process, and everyone goes through it differently. For Thompson, it’s the blog she still keeps up with to this day; it's part of her grieving process. Her blog posts are letters to her late son. (She also uses the space to raise awareness for various childhood cancer charities.)
“The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance,” Dr. Marianna Strongin, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Strong In Therapy Psychology, tells SurvivorNet. “These labels are tools to help us frame and identify what you may be feeling. They are not linear and can occur in a variety of ways.”
“As you find yourself experiencing some of these stages, it is important to remember that the emotions you are feeling are meaningful yet temporary. If you approach them with compassion, kindness and eventually acceptance, you will come away from this period in your life more connected to your resilience and strength.”
Camila Legaspi, during a previous interview with SurvivorNet, shared her own advice on grief after her mother died of breast cancer. For her, therapy made all the difference. For Thompson, her blog and Taylor Swift’s song about her little boy serve as a way to help her grieve, even more than a decade later, because the pain of losing your child never truly goes away.
"Therapy saved my life," Legaspi says. "I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life. Because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on, going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings."
'Therapy Saved My Life': After Losing a Loved One, Don't be Afraid to Ask for Help
Signs & Symptoms of Neuroblastoma
Neuroblastoma occurs almost exclusively in children under the age of five. As a child grows, neuroblasts mature into nerves and fibers.
The symptoms of this cancer will vary based on where the affected neuroblasts are in the body, but generally include:
- Lumps of tissue under the skin
- Eyeballs that protrude from the sockets (proptosis)
- Dark circles around the eyes
- Back pain
- Fever
- Unexplained weight loss
- Pain in the bones
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.