5 Things to Do if You Have Trust Issues with Your Oncologist; Building Trust with Care Providers

At SurvivorNet, we are committed to closing the gap of racial disparities in cancer care, and that includes disparities for feelings of trust experienced by patients towards their doctors. Our Close the Gap Initiative supports promoting equality in cancer care throughout the world.

For people grappling with feelings of distrust or lack of confidence and their oncologist, here are five ways to address those feelings.

1. Speak with Your Doctor about How You’re Feeling

As mental health professionals often advise: People can’t read your mind, so you must tell them how you’re feeling. Yes, there may be some awkwardness felt by speaking up, but it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable.

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Talk things out with your doctor and bring your concerns to the table in a calm, and de-personalized way. Keep your tone even and controlled, and express what you’re feeling in a straightforward way. Ask them what they might advise in this situation, too. Your oncologist has years of experience dealing with people in your position. And while you might have trust issues with them potentially valid ones at that keep in mind that they have a lot of experience with patients like you who are battling cancer.

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2. Consider Switching Doctors

As the popular adage goes: You are not a tree move. If you speak with your oncologist about how you’re feeling and don’t make any headway, or are displeased with their response, consider requesting to meet with a different doctor.

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Your health and your care team are critical and your comfort matters. In an earlier interview, one expert spoke with SurvivorNet and advised patients to be their own best healthcare advocate and to be “pushy” if need be.

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3. Speak with a Therapist for Feedback & Support

Therapists, psychologists, and social workers are excellent sounding boards and support systems through the cancer journey. They can also help you process feelings of distrust, and create an action plan either internal or external to change how you’re feeling.

A good therapist will sit with you, listen in a non-judgmental and open way, and help work with you to work through your experiences. Taking care of your mental health is a form of self-care, just like a hot bath after a long day or like going to the gym.

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4. Build Trust Slowly

If you have decided to stay with your current oncologist and care team and work through the issues you are having with trusting them, take it slow and let your gut be your guide. Feelings don’t change overnight, and your feelings matter.

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5. Be Gentle with Yourself

Most importantly, through this process go easy on yourself. If you’re having trust issues, it’s possible you may have lived through some ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) which can lead to trust issues.

Additionally, you are in the midst of a healthcare battle, and that is emotionally, physically, and mentally draining. You are likely doing your best in this moment, so cut yourself some slack and be proud of yourself for honoring your feelings and listening to your gut if you’re experiencing trust issues.

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