A Paralyzing Phobia
- Los Angeles-based writer and director Shannon Walsh, 29, has had an intense phobia of death since she had her first panic attack at age 7 while watching one of Stephen King’s films.
- After 22 years of therapy to cope with this fear, Shannon’s brother Dave was diagnosed with cancer, which initially triggered her, but then surprisingly helped her cope.
- SurvivorNet’s mental health advisor Dr. Marianna Strongin defines anxiety as the worry about a future event, and also the underestimation of our ability to cope, and recommends a calming technique to help control it.
Shannon was watching a Stephen King movie when she had her first panic attack at 7.
Read MoreHer brother and parents did their best to comfort her at the time, but sadly, the panic attacks kept coming for over a decade. Despite therapists chalking it up to “kid stuff,” and saying that these thoughts will be gone around age 17, but the meltdowns unfortunately became more frequent. Shannon was pulled out of school. She was able to graduate and somehow made it through one year of college in New York, but she once again had to leave school, upped her meds, and began seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist.
“To expose me to my fear of death, the therapist asked me to read essays about deathlots of essays about death,” she shared. “I even wrote a song about itI was instructed to record the song and play it back as I brushed my teeth every night.”
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After similar continued exercises and seeing a variety of other specialists, Shannon finally saw major improvement, until her brother’s cancer diagnosis, which took her back to that terrified space in her head. Again came the panic attacks.
But then something shifted.
“For the first time ever, I was forced to reconcile the peace I thought I'd found in death with the idea that the person closest to me may die,” she explained of facing her brother’s lymphoma diagnosis.
During Dave’s chemotherapy sessions, the siblings started talking about death.
“Dave and I directly addressed what he was facing,” she said. “No frills. No exaggerations. No euphemisms.”
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Dave explained to her that he had just learned to let that fear go. “He reminded me that he has little control over what happens, so what's the point of stressing?”
Ultimately, by her brother facing what she had feared so badly for so long, was what helped her to quiet all of the recently surfaced anxiety.
“That doesn't mean I'm ‘OK,’ It doesn't mean I'm walking around with a smile on my face,” she admits. “It means I'm digesting the news as it comes, and I'm not jumping to conclusions about how things will end up.”
So far they’re ending up pretty well for the brave artist, who has came full circle with her phobia, releasing her own film about death phobia, the story sparked from her own of course and the exercises assigned by her therapists.
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Facing Fear and Anxiety
Anxiety, which causes mental and physical health issues, is very real and all too common in the world we live in these days.
Licensed clinical psychologist and SurvivorNet’s mental health advisor Dr. Marianna Strongin defines anxiety as "the worry about a future event, and also the underestimation of our ability to cope." According to Dr. Strongin, almost half of cancer survivors experience anxiety, even after they beat the disease.
Psychologist Marianna Strongin Offers Advice On Managing Anxiety
Dr. Strongin advises patients to calm the mind by first focusing on calming the body. "We can't tell ourselves to be calm without actually calming and soothing the body first," she said. When her patients are anxious, Dr. Strongin asks them to locate the feeling of anxiety in their body, and to focus the attention on calming that space.
When cancer patients and their loved ones face a cancer battle, it would be very out of the ordinary if you weren't scared. Anxiety and fear are totally normal reactions to the news that you have cancer. Beyond normal. Acknowledging these emotions, as Shannon has for many years it seems, can be therapeutic and important to the healing process.
Handling Fear When You Get the Diagnosis
So how do you confront your fears without letting them take over entirely?
- Let your family and close friends knowand let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
- Keep a journal. It can be extremely cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a nice journal and chronicle your different thoughts throughout the day.
- Join a cancer support group. There are groups in nearly every community offering opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You'll learn incredibly helpful insight from others who can tell you about what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
- Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.
- Above all, just know that there are countless resources and support here for you to turn to at any time. We're fortunate to be in a time where we can rely on so many entities to help us through life's hurdles.
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