Facing Cancer as a Family
- “90 Day Fiancé” star Deavan Clegg’s 4-year-old son Taeyang is still in a “scary” battle with leukemia, but she is remaining hopefully that he will one day soon get to ring the bell.
- Despite the hard times and complex emotions felt along the cancer journey, Clegg and her family have leaned on each other.
- “People have a range of emotions when they're diagnosed with cancer," Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik Plutchik tells SurvivorNet.
- Those emotions can include fear, anger … and these emotions tend to be fluid. They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process. Going through a cancer diagnosis is just the beginning of a complicated, complicated process.”
- Finding the support you need during this time is crucial. That can be in family and loved ones, a professional therapist, or a local support group.
Clegga mom of three who appeared on the TLC reality TV series “90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way” with her reality star ex Jihoon Lee, 28recently took to social media to open up about the “reality” of her son’s cancer journey and praise him for how far he’s come.
Read MoreTaeyang has B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), a type of blood cancer.
She continued, “You might know us from 90 day fiancé .. I was pregnant on the show with Taeyang and gave birth to him on the show. Not very many people know what has happened to us after the show.. so much has changed in our lives.
“So much I want to talk about. Life has been challenging. But this, .. this is reality. My son has cancer and it's scary. I worry every day, and I know he is strong and will make it. But I live in constant fear. I try my best to put on a smile but the reality of the situation is I'm terrified.
“I love him so much. He is still battling this horrible disease. But I know one day he will win the battle and we will get to see him ring the bell.”
RELATED: Cute Video Shows How '90 Day Fiance' Star Deavan Clegg's Son Is Doing During Cancer Battle
Clegg, who has been struggling to pay off the medical bills that have come along with Taeyang's treatment (something so many survivors and their families can relate to), then thanked all who have supported her family throughout this cancer fight.
“The gifts, cards, and donations,” she concluded. “You guys have made it possible so I can be by his side every second of the day. Thank you so much. #childhoodcancer #cancerdonation #cancerawareness.”
Coping With Emotions
- SN & You Presents Mental Health: Coping With Emotions
- Fear, Anger, Anxiety: You’re Entitled To Your Emotions
- Responding to Stress: How to Cope With Complex & Changing Emotions
- ‘Be Patient With Your Emotions’: A Social Worker’s Insights Into Handling a Cancer Diagnosis
- Mental Health and Cancer — The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
- Do You Have a Question About Mental Health & Cancer– Strong In Cancer — A New Column From SurvivorNet with Dr. Marianna Strongin
If you're having trouble paying your bills linked to cancer treatment, like Clegg is dealing with from her son’s battle, SurvivorNet has organized the financial resources that may be available to assist you.
As the video compilation Clegg shared came to an end, the mom of three wrote in overlay text, “I know one day. We will get to see you ring The bell. Until then we will keep fighting.”
Taeyang’s Cancer Battle
Deavan Clegg has been taking to Instagram and YouTube to offer updates on her son's battle with cancer since he was diagnosed just one month after his third birthday in 2022.
The loving mom initially shared the news of Taeyang's diagnosis with her Instagram followers on May 31, 2022.
"I have vowed to always be 100% transparent with you guys and I am choosing to share the most vulnerable and saddest point of my life right now in hopes it can help give anyone else dealing with a similar situation some strength," she captioned her the post, revealing a photo of her son playing with toys in what appears to be a hospital.
"I'm overcome with so much emotion and devastation to announce that my beloved son Taeyang who just celebrated his third birthday last month was just diagnosed with childhood cancer, b-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia just a few days ago.”
After announcing that her son had already started chemotherapy treatments, she informed her fans, “This is every parent's absolute worst nightmare and I'm trying hard to stay strong for Taeyang, Drascilla and my baby in my tummy.
“Taeyang will need around-the-clock hospital care and this will be a long two-year process that has a high success rate of full recovery in five years. I'm still processing all of this and asking for prayers, please.”
Meanwhile, Taeyand's grandmother Elicia Clegg, shared in a recent update post on her grandson's GoFundMe page, which has since raised more than $41,000, thanking everyone for helping amid this "long fight."
Dealing With Overwhelming Emotions
When a stressful life event occurs, like a child’s cancer diagnosis, people may react with a range of different (and quickly changing) emotions. This is completely normal.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
Responding to Stress: How to Cope With Complex & Changing Emotions
In this video, Dr. Plutchik is speaking mostly about how people react after a cancer diagnosis which can be a huge range of emotions from fear to anger to determination. However, the conclusion remains the same no matter what stressor someone may be dealing with: your emotions are valid and seeking mental health help may look different for every person.
"People have a range of emotions when they're diagnosed with cancer," Dr. Plutchik explains. "And they can include fear, anger … and these emotions tend to be fluid.
“They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process. Going through a cancer diagnosis is just the beginning of a complicated, complicated process.”
SN & You Presents Mental Health: Coping With Emotions
Dr. Plutchik explains that the patient, or person going through a stressful event, should accept that emotions will be fluid.
You may feel fine one day and then feel a massive wave of stress the next. It's also important for those you look to for support whether that's a therapist, friends, and family, or both to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions.
If a stressful event is affecting how you think and feel, it may be time to seek some sort of mental health treatment.
How to Manage Anxiety in High-Stress Times
This could mean traditional talk therapy, medication, changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), seeking out a support group, or many other approaches.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- What can I do if my emotions begin to feel overwhelming?
- Are there approaches that don't involve traditional therapy?
- Should I consider medication such as antidepressants?
- What are the potential side effects should I decide to begin medication?
Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia
Acute lymphoblastic leukemia, which Taeyang is battling, is also known as acute lymphocytic leukemia and is a rare type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow. The disease is caused by DNA damage to the cells in your bone marrow that give rise to blood cells.
Red blood cells carry oxygen to tissues, white blood cells fight infections as part of the immune system, and platelets help stop bleeding.
Dr. Oluwole Says ALL Is The Result Of A 'Quiet Mutation' That Causes Leukemia
“(ALL) is a type of cancer that is very aggressive. It grows very fast. Within a few weeks, a few months, the person will start to feel very sick. And that's why we will have to give it an equally aggressive type of treatment to break that cycle," Dr. Olalekan Oluwole, a hematologist with Vanderbilt University Medical Center told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
"It is often not something that is heritable," Dr. Oluwole explained. "If there happens to be a pattern in a certain family, many times that may be maybe because they were in the same environment. 'I got exposed to the same thing, right?'
"So it is not necessarily something that is heritable or like some of the other cancers, some of the other genes that we know about things like breast cancerALL is not like that.”
The Impact of a Childhood Cancer Diagnosis on the Whole Family Jayne Wexler Shares Her Story
As for support after such a life-changing diagnosis, he says there are trained professionals such as case managers and hospital navigators who exist to aid people through their cancer journeys.
"Cancer is a really life-changing diagnosis and we would like our patients to know that don't have to feel as if they are on their own," Dr. Oluwole said.
MORE: Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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