Feelings of Betrayal by Your Body
- Actress Marisa Abela, 27, who rose to fame portraying late singer Amy Winehouse in this year’ Back to Black film, is sharing about the emotional aspect of having gone through cancer, describing it as a “distrust within your body,” which many survivors often describe as a feeling of betrayal.
- Diagnosed with thyroid cancer in November 2020, the Brighton, England native said she “wouldn’t wish” this feeling on anyone. Thyroid cancer, according to Mayo Clinic, is a growth of cells that starts in the thyroid, which is the butterfly-shaped gland at the base of the neck.
- Many people turn to the arts as an emotional outlet during or after cancer. Whether you’re a professionally trained artist or not, the arts can have a helpful effect during or after a cancer journey. Facing a cancer diagnosis can be extremely challenging, especially when you realize you may have unknowingly had the disease for some time.
- It’s important to know that you are not alone — and there are many ways to seek support. SurvivorNet’s team of experts recommend trying the following: leaning on loved ones, keeping a journal, joining support groups and/or consider seeing a therapist to talk through the feelings you are experiencing. In the meantime, SurvivorNet’s mental health guide can help inspire a game plan to a healthier you.
Diagnosed with thyroid cancer in November 2020, the Brighton, England native told The Times in an interview published on Friday that she “wouldn’t wish” this feeling on anyone. “Even if it’s something like thyroid cancer, which isn’t necessarily life threatening — there’s a distrust within your body that I really wouldn’t wish on anyone.”
Read MoreAfter surgery to remove the cancer, Abela said when she first looked in the mirror, she thought: “That’s it, my career is over.” She said her neck was “stapled” and bloody,” and “wasn’t pretty at all and the scar is big.”
The Times interviewer noted that it had now faded to a long, thin line, only noticeable when Abela lifted her dark hair to point it out.
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Acknowledging her relatively young age, HBO’s Industry star expressed that the positive is that she doesn’t let things like criticism get to her as much, after dealing with something much heavier.
“My work is so important to me and I enjoy it so much, but when, for example, something like playing Amy — where things can go crazy and people have their opinions before anyone’s even seen it — I’ve been through more than that and I understand what my priorities are,” said Abela, who spent four months immersing herself in the mannerisms of Winehouse — who died from alcoholism in 2011 at Abela’s current age of 27.
“I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t affect me,” Abela added of the online bullying era, “but fundamentally my priority is trying to maintain a healthy body. When you’re on cancer wards, you’re seeing things that are so bleak and so sad and it really does just put everything into perspective.”
Tips on Coping with an Unexpected Diagnosis
Facing a cancer diagnosis is often a terrifying experience, especially when you realize you may have unknowingly had the disease for some time, but it’s important to know that you are not alone — and there are many ways to seek support. SurvivorNet’s team of experts recommend trying the following:
- Let your family and close friends know and let them help. So many cancer survivors tell us they want and need support but are often too preoccupied to make specific requests. Urge those close to you to jump in with whatever practical help they can offer.
- Keep a journal. It can be highly cathartic to let those feelings loose on paper. Grab a pen and a lovely journal and chronicle your thoughts throughout the day.
- Join a cancer support group. Groups in nearly every community offer opportunities to connect with others going through a similar journey. You’ll learn constructive insight from others who can tell you what to expect and how to stay strong on tough days.
- Consider seeing a therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist so you can discuss your fears and concerns in a safe space. Often, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings rather than internalizing them can provide relief.
Cancer & Healing — Seeking Solace Through Art
Many people turn to the arts as an emotional outlet during or after cancer. Whether you’re a professionally trained artist or not, the arts can have a helpful effect during or after a cancer journey.
Art therapy, like painting, dancing, and music creating it, and listening to it has been shown to have a colossal impact on one’s emotional and mental health, Dr. Alexander Pantelyat, a neurologist at Johns Hopkins, previously told SurvivorNet.
How I made it through cancer: Through my art, says survivor Marianne Cuozzo
“Just listening to music activates more brain regions simultaneously than any other human activity,” Dr. Pantelyat said.
While going through cancer, try to find small moments of joy be it from writing, painting, singing or dancing. Having a positive outlook and an upbeat attitude can help heal you through as you pour yourself into your art and purge out those negative feelings of fear.
Practicing Self-Care During & After Cancer
Whether you’re going through treatment healing after cancer, it’s important to include self-care in your overall care plan. Your emotional health is just as important as your physical health, and that is where self-care plays a key role. Make time for things that make you feel good about yourself and ease daily stress.
“Self-care is a way for you to treat yourself, to give back to yourself, that feels very different than being a patient,” says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin.
In a recent conversation with SurvivorNet, Dr. Strongin talked about what it means to be a “cancer patient” and how self-care can help people step outside of that label. Being a cancer patient is “a difficult identity to have with you at all times,” she said. Cancer can be all-encompassing, meaning it can hijack your mental energy and fill your schedule. Dr. Strongin says that practicing self-care can help you take back control.
Dr. Strongin recommends thinking of self-care in the context of the things in life that bring you the most joy. It doesn’t necessarily mean pampering yourself. It’s more important to find opportunities to be playful and joyful to embrace the child within yourself.
“Self-care allows (people with cancer) to take on a different role where they are proactively giving back to their body, giving back to their mind, whatever that might be.”
‘Self care is a way to treat yourself’: Dr. Marianna Strongin on the Importance of self-care
Examples of self-care may include:
- Exercising
- Sleeping
- Maintaining a healthy diet
- Meditation
- Engaging in activities that bring you happiness (hobbies, spending time with loved ones, etc)
- Practicing gratitude
- Staying positive
Regularly ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” and work through why you feel that way regardless of whether those feelings are negative or positive. For example, if you are feeling hopeful and optimistic, you may ask yourself why. One possible reason is that you have to have lunch with a close family member or a close friend. The same can be said if you’re feeling sad or angry; ask yourself why that is.
“Checking in with yourself is being mindful of what your body is telling you,” says the National Cancer Institute. “The more you check in with yourself, the more aware you’ll be that you need a break. Sometimes, rest and quiet time is all you need to feel rejuvenated.”
If you would like some more ideas, SurvivorNet’s mental health guide can help inspire a game plan to a healthier you.
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