Coping With Cancer and Your Relationship
- A study published in Science Daily by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center found women are “six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis if a man in the relationship is the patient.”
- Mind and body therapist at City of Hope Michael Uhl says that taking steps to cope with the stress of the diagnosis together and keeping an open line of communication help lay the foundation for maintaining a strong relationship.
- A cancer diagnosis impacts not just the patient but their families, too. In many cases, embarking on a cancer journey can bring families, partners, and spouses closer together. However, we also know that added stress can cause a rift in the relationship if not addressed with care.
- Couples battling a cancer diagnosis should remember to maintain open communication, keep up the intimacy where possible, and find support from loved ones.
A study published in Science Daily by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center found women are “six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis if a man in the relationship is the patient.”
Read More
“Why men leave a sick spouse can be partly explained by their lack of ability, compared to women, to make more rapid commitments to being caregivers to a sick partner, and women have a better ability to assume the burdens of maintaining a home and family,” the study said. Family psychologist Susan McDaniel shared with “The Today Show” the impact a cancer diagnosis can have on couples. She said it can strengthen healthy relationships or widen the divide for couples facing existing conflict.For healthy couples confronted with cancer, “they recognize how they feel about each other, the petty stuff drifts away. There’s a certain kind of intimacy in facing something real serious,” Dr. McDaniel said.
“For couples where there already significant difficulties that haven’t been resolved, and if the illness hits at some of that, then it really hard,” Dr. McDaniel added.
Mind-body therapist Michael Uhl shared some tips with the City of Hope, a national medical research institution, on keeping your relationship strong during your cancer journey.
- Keep an open line of communication.
- Rely on developed skills such as coping strategies to handle stress together.
- Allow some alone time or a “time out” for each other.
- Try to keep your intimacy intact, and remember this does not necessarily mean sex.
- Do things you both love together.
- Boost your support network, including friends and family, to help with new tasks while caring for your partner.
- Find support groups in a similar situation to yours.
- Hold each other accountable, which includes making healthy lifestyle choices.
- Don’t blame each other.
- Find a therapist to help you through this new chapter in your life.
Battling Late-Stage Breast Cancer
- Acupuncture Promising for Pain Relief from Some Breast Cancer Treatment
- An Overview of Breast Cancer Treatment
- Advances in Metastatic Breast Cancer Treatments Over the Last Year Offer New Hope for Those Fighting
- HER2-Positive Metastatic Breast Cancer Treatment Options Explained
- Metastatic Triple-Negative Breast Cancer Treatments To Consider
How Actress Shannen Doherty’s Diagnosis Impacted Her Relationship
Last year was an emotional one for beloved actress Shannen Doherty, 52, who divorced her former husband Kurt Iswarienko, 49, after undergoing major cancer surgery.
Doherty’s emotional cancer journey hit several rough patches throughout 2023. She’s undergone brain surgery due to metastatic breast cancer spreading to her head in January. She also filed for divorce from Iswarienko this past April. According to People Magazine, Doherty and Iswarienko separated last January, although Doherty’s representative said, “Divorce is the last thing Shannen wanted.” The representative also claimed, “The split has taken a toll on Doherty’s cancer battle.”
According to RadarOnline, Iswarienko said the couple got married in October 2011, but he lists the date of their separation as to be determined."
According to divorce papers, Doherty reportedly claimed “irreconcilable differences” as the reason she and Iswarienko are divorcing. She is also asking for spousal support from her former husband.
While Iswarienko brands himself as a photographer, the “Charmed” actress’ wealth stems mainly from her film and television work.
Doherty is an award-winning actress whose career began in the early 1980s. She became a household name after she grabbed the hearts and minds of TV viewers of Beverly Hills 90210 as Brenda Walsh. She also starred in “Charmed” during the 1990s.
Off-screen, in the years that followed, the beloved actress was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. It went into remission in 2017 but returned as stage 4 (or metastatic) in 2019. Metastatic cancer, for which there is no cure, means it has spread to distant areas of the body, like the bones, liver, lungs, or brain.
Since Doherty’s surgery earlier this year, she’s been spotted a few times in public enjoying life.
WATCH: Treating late-stage breast cancer.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you find yourself struggling with a diagnosis or helping a loved one cope with their emotions, consider asking your doctor the following questions:
- How can I go about improving my outlook/mental health?
- Are there any activities I can do to encourage positive feelings?
- When should I seek other interventions if I am still struggling?
- What are the steps to finding a different therapist if the one I am using is not working out?
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.