Important Conversations About Mental Health
- TV host Carson Daly has historically opened up about hard-to-discuss topics like grief. Now, he’s sharing more about his struggles with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder).
- When he was just 5 years old, Daly lost his father to bladder cancer. He later lost his mother, Pattie Daly Caruso, to a heart attack in 2017. This occurred just six months before his step-father died of an “end stage cancer diagnosis.”
- Grief is an unavoidable and important part of healing following the loss of a loved one to cancer. But therapy can also be a valuable tool when dealing with grief.
Daly has a happy life. He lives in a beautiful home on Long Island, New York, with his wife, Siri Pinter, 41, and their four children: Jackson James Daly, 13, Etta Jones Daly, 9, London Rose Daly, 7, and Goldie Patricia Daly, 2.
Read More"On The Voice, when I'm live on Monday nights, most of the time, my right hand is in my right pocket, and I'm literally gripping onto the flesh of my thigh because I'm waiting for a high-panic moment to pass," he explained.
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GAD is characterized by persistent and excessive worry about a number of different things, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America. He first revealed that he had the anxiety disorder in 2018, and he says he’s been in "much better place" and "on a really good personal path" ever since.
"Once you realize that other people have (GAD) that it's an actual diagnosable thing, and there is a whole psychology and physiology behind it you have context, and I think learning about all that, talking about it, exploring it has just ripped the veil," he said.
How Carson Daly Has Been Touched By Cancer
Outside of his anxiety disorder, Daly has also been open about the impact that his family’s history with cancer has had on his life. And, sadly, his introduction to the disease began at the very young age of 5 years old when his father passed from bladder cancer in 1979.
Understanding Bladder Cancer: Types and Locations of the Disease
"I remember the day my dad died,'' Carson said in 2013. "I went upstairs and the the room was pitch black, and my mom was in bed. Her way of trying to explain about the death of my dad was, 'Daddy’s not coming home.' I think I said something like, 'Mommy, I wondered if I could please have Daddy’s money?' She knew I couldn’t quite comprehend what was going on."
To this day, Daly still thinks about his father’s passing.
“My whole adult life I’ve tried to figure out what impact did that have on my life now, my mental health and everything else,” Daly said earlier this year of his father’s death.
Then, in the late 1990s, cancer struck the family again when Daly’s mother, Pattie Daly Caruso, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Daly was working on an MTV show in New York City when she called to share the devastating news.
An Introduction to Breast Cancer Symptoms & Diagnosis
"I remember the sinking feeling, and I said, 'I’m on my way,''' Daly said. "She said, 'Don’t you dare. You have a live show to do.' She’s selfless. It’s not about my mom. It’s never been really about her."
She survived her breast cancer battle, but later died of a heart attack in 2017. In 2013, Daly spoke of his mother’s tremendous impact on him.
"I think having a strong parent has just been such an inspiration because it’s a constant reminder for me to find my own pillar of strength and to be that for my own growing family,'' Carson said.
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Daly’s mother’s heart attack came while she was caring for her husband and Daly’s stepdad, Richard Caruso, after he received an “out the blue end stage cancer diagnosis.” Sadly, he passed just six weeks after her death.
“I'm pretty convinced God struck a deal with mom, ‘come with me to heaven, where all your loved ones await, the red wine flows endlessly and you can receive your husband who will join us soon,” Carson wrote in 2021. “‘If you do, I'll make sure your children's families grow up together, close, tight, making new happy memories every single day just blocks away from each other…all your kids & grandkids in the same town.’
“She undoubtedly agreed to that proposition before God could even finished his sentence. A trade of sorts…I would have done the same thing for my kids.”
Losing a Loved One to Cancer
Losing someone you love to cancer, or for any reason, can cause immeasurable pain as Carson Daly knows all too well. But grief is an inevitable and essential part of the healing process. And there's definitely no one way to cope, but Doug Wendt shared his thoughts on grief in a previous interview with SurvivorNet after losing his wife, Alice, to ovarian cancer.
"We're never gonna move on, I don't even think I want to move on, but I do want to move forward," Wendt said. "That's an important distinction, and I encourage anybody who goes through this journey as a caregiver and then has to face loss, to think very carefully about how to move forward."
Remembering all the wonderful ways the person you've lost enriched your life can also help you move forward something Caleb Farley can surely attest to.
In a previous interview with SurvivorNet, Farley talked about his mother's battle with breast cancer. He also discussed how he opted out of his position as a cornerback for the Virginia Tech Hokies due to COVID-19 concerns. Having lost his mom to breast cancer in 2018, he knew he wanted to be extra careful during the pandemic.
Farley announced the news of his opt-out in an Instagram video saying, in part, "I cannot afford to lose another parent or loved one… Though the competitor in me badly wants to play this season, I cannot ignore what's going on in my heart, and I must make the decision that brings me the most peace."
Farley trained for the NFL draft instead of playing for Virginia Tech, and his efforts paid off. He was selected by the Tennessee Titans as the number 22 overall pick in the first round of the 2021 NFL draft.
Farley's mother fought two battles with cancer. He watched as she went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy while still working and taking care of her family. Although his "superhero" mother will not get to see him play in the NFL, Farley will take many lessons he learned from her and apply them to whatever challenges he faces in life moving forward.
"My mother raised me to be very religious, very God-conscious. That's been everything to me, and my life. That's like the building blocks of my, of my life," Farley told SurvivorNet. "Anything that's happened to me, any adversity, any good times, any bad times, I've always kind of stood on that rock of faith. I can't thank her enough for how she raised me and because it was her who gave me all of that, um, spiritually, she, she just filled my heart with love and joy. I've had a happy life because of her."
Therapy as a Tool for Coping with Grief
Everyone's journey of grief looks different, but therapy and support groups can also be wonderful options to explore. It's also important to keep in mind that time does not heal everything, but it certainly helps.
In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Camila Legaspi shared her own advice on grief after her mother died of breast cancer. For her, therapy made all the difference.
"Therapy Saved My Life": After Losing A Loved One, Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help
"Therapy saved my life," Legaspi said. "I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life, because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on. Going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings."
Legaspi also wanted to remind people that even though it can be an incredibly difficult experience to process, things will get better.
"When you lose someone, it's really, really, really hard," Legaspi said. "I'm so happy that I talked to my therapist. Keep your chin up, and it's going to be OK. No matter what happens, it's going to be OK."
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