Persevering After Cancer
- Lifestyle expert Sandra Lee, 58, has manifested her dreams into reality after healing through breast cancer, a complicated double mastectomy and hysterectomy, finally getting her ‘labor of love’ Netflix show Blue Ribbon Baking Championship off the ground 12 years later and enjoying world travels with her partner Ben Youcef, 45.
- In a video interview from a “congratulations to myself” trip to Switzerland with her love, Lee spoke with SurvivorNet about resilience, being “ultra-focused,” and insists she is still the same person after her complicated surgeries, but it took some time for her to get there.
- One way to prepare yourself for possible body changes during cancer treatment is to understand that changes are possible but also, frequently temporary. This can also help build up your self-confidence. Your medical team, loved ones and support groups can help you during this stage of your journey.
- After cancer and other health challenges, experts suggest working on their mental health with positive psychology. Positive psychology focuses on encouraging patients to feel positive and finding what brings a sense of vitality to their lives. According to psychiatrist Dr. Samantha Boardman, the three wellsprings of vitality are connecting with others, contribution, or adding value to the lives of others, and feeling challenged.
In a video interview from a “congratulations to myself” trip to Switzerland with her love, Lee spoke with SurvivorNet about resilience, being “ultra-focused,” and how she is still the same person after her complicated surgeries, though it took a lot of strength and perseverance to get there.
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Giving an example of Youcef’s strong character, the TV chef said, “An odd thing happened when I was filming the Blue Ribbon Baking Championship and Ben and I were apart for about a month. One of his friends said to him at the gym, ’Is it different being with someone who went through a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy?'”
“And Ben was offended,” she shares of the intrusive question about the removal of her breasts and womb.
“‘What are you talking about?’ he said. ‘No, nothing’s different.'”
Shocked that someone would ask that, she felt even more stunned and so touched by Ben’s reply, because another man might have given a “different answer to the one Ben gave.”
A Supportive Partner with a ‘Beautiful Soul’
“I mean, I’m thrilled he felt that way, but I think he felt that way because I don’t feel any different,” she shares.
“He was very sweet about it [when I came home and he told me about it]. I’d been filming and not feeling very pretty because I actually was eating cake for a month — it’s my bucket list show,” Lee adds of the list of goals she created after facing her breast cancer diagnosis in 2015.
Essentially, Lee fell in love with Ben’s “patience and kindness and understanding.”
“It wasn’t any of the things you’d expect it to be. It was the way he behaved. It was the way he acted because it was the same person that said to the guy in the gym three years later, when I’m not even there to stick up for myself because I’m filming one of my bucket list projects. It’s the same guy who said, ‘no, it’s no different. What are you even talking about?’ Because you have to have a soul. And he serves my soul and actually has a beautiful soul.”
Sandra Lee’s Breast Cancer Journey
Though Lee had her mastectomy right after finding out about her early-stage breast cancer (she was with her former partner of 14 years, former New York governor Andrew Cuomo at the time), it was seven years later that she underwent the preventative hysterectomy.
When she was with Cuomo, though it was a difficult breakup amid a painful media spectacle that affected her career, Lee did tell SurvivorNet that he was there for her “as much as he could be” during that time. But her sister Kim was her number one, so much so that Lee said she had her first panic attack when she left their home.
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“There was a lot going on. There was no way I could have digested it [without her there].
Unfortunately, Lee had complications with her mastectomy surgery.
“I got an infection. I got a really bad infection because the surgery was so brutal for me and it just was not healing and there was nothing I could do about it. … they wanted to just take skin out of my side, like take skin off my back and big chunks of it to rebuild my front. And I said to the doctor, I’m going to look like the bride of Frankenstein by the time you get done.”
Advocating for her health, Lee refused, not wanting to put herself through that and the doctor warned her that she was going to get sick and have to do it later. “And by the time I did get sick, it was just a cut and sew — I saved myself all that agony.”
Just ‘Being in the Room’ Is Most Important
Going on to share the most important way that a partner can help someone going through similar health experiences, she answered:
“I think the most important thing is being in the room, whether it’s at every doctor’s appointment, whether you want to go there or not. Being in the room is the most important thing.”
“When other people are not good for me, if they’re toxic for me, if I feel they were disloyal to me, I’m out,” Lee says. “It only takes once because I’ve learned my lesson and I don’t need to learn it again. I stay. I’m super loyal. I stay, I stay, I stay, I stay, I stay. And then one day I’m like, I’m out.”
Lee and Cuomo broke up in 2019. Three years later is when Lee decided to do the hysterectomy.
Sandra Lee’s Preventative Hysterectomy
A hysterectomy is a procedure that removes part or all of the uterus (or womb), often along with the cervix, according to the National Cancer Institute. Women who receive a diagnosis of uterine, ovarian, and cervical cancer may have their cancer treated with a hysterectomy.
Women may also consider a preventative hysterectomy if they have family history or the BRCA2 gene mutation, which ups the risk of ovarian cancer and breast cancer.
Lee had some intense complications with this surgery as well, but every woman’s experience is different. For many, it is worth having the procedure and not living in fear of a cancer diagnosis if you happen to be higher risk.
“The hormones are a challenge,” Lee recalled of the body changes. “You’ve got to figure out if you can take them or not — But you can’t live without ’em. I mean, testosterone heals you for progesterone protects you, and estrogen gives you life. You can’t live without that. And I can tell just when I’m down on one of my hormones when I’m low, I can tell by the way I react to things. It’s like having low blood sugar, but it’s not low blood sugar.”
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As for any body image issues she did experience along the way?
“Hormone belly is probably what I’m most sensitive about,” Lee says. “However, I got to tell you, if I was so sensitive about it, I’d quit eating and I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to sacrifice anymore. If I want something, I’m going to have it — I’m buying myself a steak. I’m taking myself on a vacation — now I am taking care of me. And maybe that’s what the journey was all about for me with my diagnosis”
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“I mean, I’ve taken care of everyone, and I do the right thing for the most part in business. I do everything I can to do the right thing. And I live my life as clean as I can. I don’t cheat. I don’t play. I work hard. I get up early. I try to be kind all the time,” says Lee. “But at the end of the day, if I want a glass champagne or two, I want to have it. I’m not shooting trails up underneath the bridge. This is not heroin. You got to have some joy.”
Finding Vitality and the ‘Pathway’ to Resilience
Psychiatrist Dr. Samantha Boardman suggests that people working on their mental health practice positive psychology. Positive psychology focuses on encouraging patients to feel positive and finding what brings a sense of vitality to their lives. (In Lee’s case, romantic world travel and an “aperol spritz” here and there.)
Dr. Boardman explains them as “pathways to embrace your everyday resilience.” In other words, these are tools people who may be struggling with mental health issues can embrace to help maintain a certain sense of positivity. And those positive feelings can go a long way when people are facing a health challenge like a cancer diagnosis.
According to Dr. Boardman, these three wellsprings of vitality are:
- Connecting. This involves how you’re connecting with others and having meaningful interactions. It involves being a good listener and being engaged with the people around you who you care about.
- Contribution. How are you adding value to the people around you? Are you helping them in ways that feel meaningful to them? This entails contributing/engaging with others in a meaningful way.
- Feeling challenged. Being “positively challenged” could involve learning something new (perhaps by taking a new class or reading an interesting book) and expanding your mind in some way.
“Those are the cores of vitality and the core pathways to enhance your everyday resilience,” Dr. Boardman said.
New Beginnings and a ‘Labor of Love’ Dream Project
When Lee, a Santa Monica, Calif. native who actually won a blue ribbon at the L.A. County Fair in 1992, was denied her competition show, “twice, by everybody,” both before and after cancer, she says she “couldn’t believe it.”
And this is the height of the Food Network star’s trademark brand Semi-Homemade “and the height of my popularity and the height of 25 bestselling cookbooks.”
But she kept at it.
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“I just want everybody out there who’s in survivor mode to know that … [if] it’s your dream, if you dream big enough and if it’s your labor of love and you keep going at it, you can get there,” Lee urges. “And that is what the Blue Ribbon Baking Championship is. And not only did I get there, I got there with Netflix. And Netflix had only thought that they were going to put it in the United States and Canada, after they saw the eighth episode, they said all 190 countries and 38 languages.”
On Wednesday, the show — which co-stars American Pie star Jason Biggs as host and features former White House executive pastry chef Bill Yosses and award-winning artisan baker Bryan Ford as judges, along with Lee herself —reached number one on the streaming giant’s site.
Determined to keep the show — which features blue ribbon-winning bakers from state fairs across the US —going by appealing to fans of fairs, baking, Americana and even fashion, Lee said she already has next season’s Nashville-inspired ‘fits lined up. “I already have my wardrobe picked out if we get it! I already know my boots.”
Tying it back to what she overcame with her health, she pushes other survivors to seek their own fulfillment.
“I think that when you hear the C word, you just have a different perspective on what is important to you. So eating great food and traveling to fantastic places and really enjoying my life and loving my work every day and creating interesting moments like I did with those fashion pieces. I take a lot of time on that fashion.”
“The boots and the dresses and the glasses and the earrings and the jewelry and the rings, I mean, and that hair, every single show is a moment,” adds Lee, who is not letting her post-cancer body stop her from looking like a glamorous country music star, and having so much fun living the lifestyle along with it.
Coping With Body Image After Cancer Treatment
Cancer survivors often struggle with the changes others can see, whether temporary or permanent, like hair loss and weight gain, along with surgery scars. However, survivors also struggle with changes that may not be as obvious — such as infertility — and these can create body image issues and make survivors feel vulnerable.
One way to prepare yourself for possible body changes during cancer treatment is to understand that changes are possible but also, frequently temporary. This can also help build up your self-confidence. Your support group, filled with loved ones, can help you during this stage of your journey as well.
Psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin shares with SurvivorNet some additional tips cancer survivors can explore to help manage the emotional toll body changes can have during treatment.
Dr. Strongin encourages survivors to take ownership of the part (or parts) of their body impacted mainly by cancer treatment. She says although they may represent “fear and pain,” they also represent “strength and courage.”
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“Research has found that when looking in the mirror, we are more likely to focus on the parts of our body we are dissatisfied with, which causes us to have a negative self-view and lower self-esteem. Therefore, I would like you first to spend time gazing at the parts of your body you love, give them time, honor them, and then thank them,” Dr. Strongin said.
Dr. Strongin then suggests looking at the part or parts of your body impacted by the cancer or cancer treatment. She recommends creating a regular practice of accepting your body image because it helps you accept your cancer journey emotionally and physically.
“As you allow yourself to spend more time looking at all of you, you will begin having a new relationship with your body. It may not happen immediately, but with time, you can begin honoring and thanking your new body,” Dr. Strongin added.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you’re considering having a mastectomy or hysterectomy, it’s important to prepare a list of questions for your doctor:
- What can I do to prepare for the surgery?
- What happens before and after the procedure?
- For reconstruction after mastectomy, what are the benefits of using implants over my tissue and vice versa?
- What should I know about implants? Should I opt for preventative surgery?
- What will recovery look like after the procedure?
- What are the benefits of a watch & wait approach vs. preventative surgery?
- What kind of surveillance is required after the surgery?
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
