Moving Forward after Loss
- CNN reporter Andrew Kaczynski and his wife, Wall Street Journal reporter Rachel Louise Ensign, welcomed their daughter Talia to the world after brain cancer claimed their first child.
- Brain and spinal cord cancers are the second most common form of childhood cancer behind only leukemia. It’s important that you make an appointment with your child’s doctor if your child has any signs or symptoms that concern you.
- Grief is an unavoidable and essential part of the healing process following the loss of a loved one to cancer. Things like time and therapy can help you move forward.
Kaczynski and Ensign tragically lost their first baby girl Francesca, aka "Beans," to a rare form of brain cancer in 2020, and they’ve been open about the gut-wrenching experience. Kaczynski, in particular, has even used his platform to share information about his grief, educate others and raise money for children's cancer research through the Team Beans fund.
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“Anytime I think of Beans and look at Talia, and I'm just filled with so much love for her and gratitude knowing how lucky I am and how precious but fleeting life can be,” he wrote under an adorable photo of a blanket-swaddled Talia. “I feel such joy I haven't felt in so long.”
Beans' Cancer Fight
And while the couple is feeling a lot of joy right now, Kaczynski and Ensign were in a much different place just a couple years ago.
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"We found out Francesca had a brain tumor on September 6, 2020,” he said in an interview published to Charlie Warzel's Substack. “That's always going to be the worst day of my entire life. The day she died was not the worst day of my life it was the day she was diagnosed. Everything changed for me that day."
Shortly after receiving his daughter’s diagnosis, Kaczynski publicly shared that Beans was fighting an "extremely rare and very aggressive rhabdoid brain tumor," which is a fast-growing cancerous tumor of the brain and spinal cord.
"Francesca is the strongest person and most resilient person," he previously said in a tweet. "Less than a week ago she had two brain surgeries and she's already at home and smiling. I'm confident she will fight this."
Francesca is the strongest person and most resilient person. Less than a week ago she had two brain surgeries and she’s already at home and smiling. I’m confident she will fight this. pic.twitter.com/i4OJhBmiB0
andrew kaczynski (@KFILE) September 12, 2020
Unfortunately, Francesca developed a serious fungal infection as a result of her chemotherapy, and was put on a ventilator and life support. She passed away on Christmas Eve 2020 at just 9 months old.
"We're heartbroken to have to announce our beautiful daughter Francesca passed away last night in the arms of her mom and dad," the grieving father wrote on Twitter. "There will always be a Bean-sized hole in our hearts for her. We're so grateful to have known her love. Francesca we love you."
Symptoms of Childhood Brain Cancer
Brain and spinal cord cancers are the second most common form of childhood cancer, accounting for more than 4,000 diagnoses per year about a quarter of all childhood cases. Only leukemia is more common.
According to the Mayo Clinic, treatment depends greatly on the type, size and location of the pediatric brain tumor but may include surgery, traditional radiation therapy, proton beam therapy, radiosurgery, chemotherapy and targeted drug therapy.
Some of the more common symptoms of a brain tumor in children include:
- Headaches, which may become more frequent and more severe
- Feeling of increased pressure in the head
- Unexplained nausea or vomiting
- Abrupt onset of vision problems, such double vision
Other possible signs and symptoms, depending on the tumor location, include:
- A fuller soft spot (fontanel) on the skull in babies
- Seizures, especially when there’s no history of seizures
- Abnormal eye movement
- Slurred speech
- Trouble swallowing
- Loss of appetite; or in babies, difficulty feeding
- Difficulty with balance
- Trouble walking
- Weakness or loss of sensation in an arm or a leg
- Weakness or drooping on one side on the face
- Confusion, irritability
- Memory problems
- Personality or behavior changes
- Hearing problems
Losing a Loved One to Cancer
Grief is an inevitable and essential part of the healing process after losing a loved one to cancer. And there's definitely no one way to cope, but Doug Wendt shared his thoughts on grief in a previous interview with SurvivorNet after losing his wife Alice to ovarian cancer.
"We're never gonna move on, I don't even think I want to move on, but I do want to move forward," Wendt said. "That's an important distinction, and I encourage anybody who goes through this journey as a caregiver and then has to face loss, to think very carefully about how to move forward."
Everyone's journey of grief looks different, but therapy and support groups can also be wonderful options to explore. It's also important to keep in mind that time does not heal everything, but it certainly helps.
In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Camila Legaspi shared her own advice on grief after her mother died of breast cancer. For her, therapy made all the difference.
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"Therapy saved my life," Legaspi said. "I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life, because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on. Going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings."
Legaspi also wanted to remind people that even though it can be an incredibly difficult experience to process, things will get better.
"When you lose someone, it's really, really, really hard," Legaspi said. "I'm so happy that I talked to my therapist. Keep your chin up, and it's going to be OK. No matter what happens, it's going to be OK."
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