Supporting a Partner When Cancer Strikes
- Harry Connick Jr. just celebrated 29 years of marriage with his wife Jill Goodacre, who fought breast cancer a few years ago.
- Goodacre’s breast cancer journey began in October 2012 with a routine yearly mammogram that came back clear. It was a follow-up sonogram for her dense breasts that eventually led to her stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma diagnosis.
- Thankfully, she had her husband to support her through the tough physical and mental challenges of her cancer journey.
- According to the Cleveland Clinic, “the first step is making a commitment to communicate” when trying to help a spouse with cancer.
- Supporting a partner who is seriously ill can be heartbreaking, but it can also be a deeply profound experience. You may even see your relationship strengthen like never before.
The 55-year-old singer and actor married model and actress Jill Goodacre, 59, on April 16, 1994. They’ve since created a beautiful life together and brought three children into the world: Georgia, 27, Sarah, 25, and Charlotte, 20.
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“❤️HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, JILLY!!! ❤️” he wrote in his caption. “I have been married to this queen for 29 years and i thank God every day for her…
“jilly, you are my entire world – you’re the reason i’m anything at all… happy anniversary.. ily ❤️”
Seeing a man honor the love he has for his wife is heartwarming no matter the circumstances, but it’s lovely to see Connick Jr. enjoying such a wonderful milestone after supporting Goodacre through her cancer battle.
Harry Connick Jr. Supports His Wife During Cancer
Jill Goodacre’s breast cancer journey began in October 2012 with a routine yearly mammogram that came back clear.
“They said, ‘Okay, looks good. Since you have dense breasts, just go across the hall for your sonogram,'” Goodacre told People.
I Have Dense Breasts. Do I Need a 3D Mammogram?
But, sadly, something was detected during the sonogram, and a resulting biopsy led to a stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma diagnosis.
Invasive ductal carcinoma is the most common type of breast cancer. According to Moffitt Cancer Center, stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma means the breast tumor is smaller than 2 centimeters in diameter and the cancer has not spread beyond the breast.
After hearing his wife’s news, Harry Connick Jr. was understandably scared. Plus, his mother had died of ovarian cancer when he was just 13.
“I was scared I was going to lose her, absolutely,” Connick Jr. said. “I wasn’t going to let her see that, but I was. I know from losing my mom that the worst can happen.
“She’s my best friend, and I really don’t know what I would do without her.”
What Is Tamoxifen for Breast Cancer?
Goodacre underwent a lumpectomy for treatment right away. But the surgery did not come back with clean margins, and pathology tests revealed the additional presence of ductal carcinoma in situ – the earliest form of breast cancer.
“The lumpectomy didn’t come back with clean margins,” Goodacre said in 2017. “So, I had to go in for a second surgery the very next day. And then radiation absolutely wiped me out. And since then there’s been the Tamoxifen, which I’ve now been taking for five years.”
Tamoxifen is a hormone therapy used for treating hormone receptor-positive breast cancer, and, like most medications, it can have a range of side effects.
For Goodacre, the medication “threw [her] right into menopause” and caused weight gain.
“I’ve always been a pretty fit person, and so to be just rounder and heavier and not to really be able to do much about it — that’s been hard,” the former Victoria’s Secret model admitted in 2017. “It’s taken a lot out of my self-confidence.”
Thankfully, Connick Jr. was there for Goodacre during her time of emotional and physical struggles. He didn’t judge her for worrying about her weight – he just continued to love her through it.
“It’s not silly and it’s not vain,” he said. “It’s a part of how the cancer and the treatment impacted her, and it was a real issue, even though she will always be the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Supporting a Spouse During a Cancer Journey
Supporting a spouse or partner during a cancer battle can sometimes feel overwhelming. But according to the Cleveland Clinic, “the first step is making a commitment to communicate.”
“Make a pact with your spouse or partner and say you will do your best to always be honest and open,” the clinic explains. “Then, ask for the same in return.”
It’s crucial to give your partner the safe space they need to feel whatever emotions they may be feeling, but it can also be helpful to not change your behaviors entirely.
Life changes when a cancer diagnosis comes into play, but some aspects can stay the same.
“Try to be yourself and live as normally as possible. Behaving differently may make your partner feel more aware of the cancer,” MacMillan Cancer Support says.
“It can help to ask your partner what support they would like and find useful. This makes sure you help where it is most wanted and needed. It can also help you avoid misunderstandings.”
Supporting a partner who is seriously ill can be heartbreaking, but it can also be a deeply profound experience. You may even see your relationship strengthen like never before.
Jill Kargman on Relationships and Cancer
“I think cancer is a great way to find out if you’re with the love of your life or a shithead,” Actress Jill Kargman, 48, told SurvivorNet of how her cancer journey affected her relationship.
“I think it presses the fast-forward button on getting to the bottom of that answer, because a lot of people in middle age are kind of at a crossroads, waiting for their kids to fly the coop.
“I think if you’re with someone who is not supportive and kind of emotionally checked out or doesn’t tell you you’re still beautiful with that, this might not be your person.”
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