Meredith Vieira and Her Role as a Caregiver
- Meredith Vieira, 69, and Richard Cohen, 82, have been married since 1986. During that time, Vieira has supported Cohen through two colon cancer battles and continues to support him as he lives with Multiple Sclerosis.
- Multiple Sclerosis, or MS, is a chronic neurological disease where the immune system cells that normally protect us mistakenly attack myelin in the central nervous system (brain, optic nerves and spinal cord). Symptoms of the disease can be disabling.
- Vieira says “allow[ing] each other to vent” and laughter have played crucial roles in her caregiving journey.
- Caregiving is a rewarding job. But it’s also one of the toughest jobs out there. One of our experts says it’s important for caregivers to ask for help when they need it and remember to prioritize themselves, too.
Vieira and Cohen first came face to face in 1983. Connected through their passion for journalism, the two met when their paths crossed working for different bureaus of CBS.
Read MoreThey’ve created a beautiful life together. But that doesn’t mean it’s always been easy. In fact, their marriage has been tested quite a bit with Vieira serving as Cohen’s caregiver during his various health battles over the years.
Meredith Vieira’s Role as a Caregiver
Richard Cohen was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, or MS, at 25. But hearing his diagnosis wasn’t his first experience with the disease.
"I'm the third member of my family, the third generation to have [MS]," Cohen said.
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The disease has since attacked his eyes, vocal cords and limbs he’s legally blind, talks with a scratchy voice and uses a walker to get around. Thankfully, Vieira has been by his side every step of the way.
"Chronic illness is a family affair. Spouses have the burden of tending to the needs of a loved one, even when they would secretly rather push him out a window," Cohen writes in his memoir Chasing Hope: A Patient's Deep Dive into Stem Cells, Faith, and the Future. "I knew they should not be treated as spectators when they are in the ring with us."
In addition to living with MS, Cohen is also a colon cancer survivor. After first overcoming a 1999 diagnosis, the disease returned in 2000.
“He went into himself like I’ve never seen,” Vieira recalled of the second diagnosis. “I think he was a much angrier man. That second surgery carried with it a lot of stuff afterwards, the recovery period. He had to have a bag… He felt humiliated.”
The Art of Caregiving
Still, Cohen carried on and moved forward with strength. But not without the help of Vieira. The “25 Words or Less” host has certainly struggled with the realities of his disease from time to time, but she always circles back to her sense of gratitude for the love she’s surrounded by.
"I'm an emotional person, and there's a level of stress each day, but I look at our three kids and at my husband and think, What do I have to complain about? I'm blessed!" she said.
That being said, there are tricks she’s learned to help her be the best caregiver she can be. For starters, she says giving each other the space to air out their frustrations has been huge.
"We definitely allow each other to vent," she said. "That's part of the deal. Certainly he's allowed to vent, because he's got chronic illness. But I am too. Because there are days I can't stand it and the limitations it puts on the entire family. It's good to say it. But we don't dwell.
"You can think, 'Why us?' but then it's like, 'Why not us?' So many people are dealing with stuff and it puts it into perspective."
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In addition, Vieira has found laughter to play a crucial part in her role as a caregiving.
"Richard is a very funny person, and I have a good sense of humor," Vieira explained. "So that's sort of our thing."
What Is MS?
Multiple Sclerosis, or MS, is a chronic neurological disease where the immune system cells that normally protect us mistakenly attack myelin in the central nervous system (brain, optic nerves and spinal cord). Myelin is a substance that makes up the protective sheath that coats nerve fibers.
Symptoms of MS vary but may include:
- Vision problems
- Muscle weakness, often in the hands and legs
- Muscle stiffness
- Tingling, numbness or pain in the arms, legs, trunk or face
- Clumsiness (difficulty balancing when walking, in particular)
- Bladder control problems
- Intermittent or constant dizziness
- Mental or physical fatigue
- Mood changes such as depression or difficulty with emotional expression or control
- Cognitive dysfunction marked by things like difficulty concentrating, multitasking, thinking, learning or remembering.
A small number of MS warriors will have a mild experience with the disease with little to no resulting disabilities, others will have a steadily worsening condition with increased disability over time and most will have short periods of symptoms, called attacks or relapses, followed by long periods of recovery, sometimes called remissions.
Stream 'Don't Stop Me Now,' an inspiration for anybody with MS, on SurvivorNetTV now.
In other words, each person's experience with the disease is unique. According to National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, "the onset and duration of MS symptoms usually depend on the specific type but may begin over a few days and go away quickly or develop more slowly and gradually over many years."
Tips for Caregivers
Caregiving is a rewarding job. But it’s also one of the toughest jobs out there.
"You're offering something sacred and profound to them… at a point when suddenly they can't live or go on without someone else, you're giving them the gift of quality of life for as long as it might be possible," Tom Evans, a pastor of the Brick Presbyterian Church in New York City, said of caregiving. "And know that then, because of that, you are God's presence in their life.
"They can know God's love through you, and that's a sacred and blessed calling."
'A Sacred And Blessed Calling': Managing Life As a Caregiver
According to Amy Brown, the nurse manager of Gynecologic/Oncology at Johns Hopkins Hospital, caregivers need to make sure they’re asking for the help they need during the "labor of love" that is caregiving.
"Caregiving is a huge job," Brown explained. "It's going to impact your health and your physical well-being. It will impact your finances, your social life, your emotions, your mental energy. It's going to impact your free time.
"And you are going to need help."
Caregiving Isn't Easy; Recognize That You May Need Help
In addition to getting help when needed, it’s crucial for caregivers to make sure they’re taking time for themselves. Remember that you can’t be the best caregiver you can be unless you’re taking care of yourself, too.
"Get sleep, eat well, exercise," Brown said of her advice. "Find something that brings you joy every day, whether it is going for a walk, praying, meditating, watching a movie, listening to an audio book, getting together with friends and playing cards.
"Whatever it is, find something that brings you joy."
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