The Power of the 3-3-3 Rule To Calm Your Mind and Body: Dr. Marianna Strongin Addresses These Topics and More In 'Strong In Cancer'

I am 33 years old, and I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. I am naturally a very shy and anxious person. I have always dreaded going to the doctors as I felt like a corpse instead of a human. The smells, objects and people always made me uncomfortable. Of course, after three years of avoiding going to the doctor, I finally went and was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now I have to go through surgery and get a mastectomy. This hate and fear of the doctors is so overwhelming that often I'm paralyzed. I can't move from my bed, I feel like I can't breathe, and I don't really have anyone to help me. Everything within me is telling me not to go to the doctor. I don’t know how to get out of my own head.

Dr. Strongin: I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I want to reassure you that being fearful of doctors and all medical settings is an extremely common phenomenon. Many individuals fear going to the doctor not because they are afraid of doctors themselves, but rather what seeing a doctor represents- the unknown and possibly bad news. In your case this is especially true. In seeing a doctor you were presented with what you may have always feared. Therefore, seeing doctors, having surgery and treatment is throwing your body into reaction mode.

Let’s first acknowledge what you are going through and how overwhelming it must have been to hear about your diagnosis as someone who already feared the medical field. Consequently, you are now having to spend most of your time in a hospital surrounded by doctors- the very thing you fear most. I want to make sure that you allow yourself to acknowledge and validate all of this for yourself. This feels scary, because it is scary. Later, it’s important that we begin to change your association with doctors (bad news, more unknowns) to something less anxiety provoking. For example, “doctors are saving my life and giving me the information I never had.” Rather than associating doctors with “bad news” we can change it to “important news.” Once we can associate doctors with something more healing, you may be more likely to trust the medical setting. With trust you may begin to feel less scared.

Some of the panic symptoms you described may be situationally-bound panic, which occurs upon the anticipation of something we fear. What often prolongs these panic symptoms is avoidance. It will be important that you acknowledge your desire to avoid, but still follow through. Avoidance only feeds our fear and anxiety.

When you begin to feel panic symptoms such as the sensation of being “paralyzed,” it will be critical that we calm your body and reorient your mind. I recommend using a technique called the “3-3-3 Rule”- which asks that you name three things you see, list three things you hear and finally move three parts of your body. By doing this when you notice your panic symptoms coming on, your body will begin to slow down and your mind will focus on the present.

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I am a recently diagnosed melanoma patient. Honestly, I was not surprised when my doctor told me I had melanoma. I am known as the friend who is always glowing from his tan. Whether I was laying on the beach or at tanning salons, I made sure I was tan 365 days of the year. Weirdly enough, I feel completely fine with this entire process. I still plan to go to the beach all the time but just wear more sunscreen. 
I feel like I should be scared and take this more seriously, but I'm young and feel healthy… 

Dr. Strongin: Typically in our younger years we value our physical appearance and tend to undervalue our physical health. As we mature, we begin to learn just how interconnected our mind and body can be. As a result, we generally begin paying attention to how our mind and body communicate and hopefully start making changes/adjustments to our behavior. In your case, it looks like being tan and focusing on your outer appearance greatly improved your mood and confidence. However, your recent melanoma diagnosis may be a wake up call signaling a change in your behavior with tanning and a need to re-evaluate your relationship with self-appearance. This diagnosis is a message, and it’s important that you allow yourself to hear it.

People react in a variety of ways to a cancer diagnosis. In many cases people experience denial in order to avoid feeling anxiety. Denial is a defense mechanism we all use from time to time in order to cope with distressing and uncomfortable feelings. In denial, we are less likely to feel anxious and also less likely to change our behavior. Therefore, it is important that you examine your underlying fears and think about the potential negative consequences of NOT taking action. In doing so, you can allow yourself to express your fears and emotions. We don’t always need to feel fearful in order to create change, however we do need to be able to tolerate and digest information that might be anxiety provoking. In your case, I urge you to take this diagnosis as an important message for both your mind and body.

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