An Iconic Musical Career
- The legendary southern rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd, which formed in 1964, has had a number of tragedies since forming, beginning with the 1977 plane crash killing its two founding members, lead vocalist Robbie Van Zant and guitarist Steve Gaines, along with four others when their plane ran out of fuel and went down in Mississippi.
- Ean Evans, a bass player for the group’s later inception from 2001 up until the time he passed away at age 48 in 2009, died from an aggressive cancer. The late musician, born Donald Evans, is survived by his wife and two daughters.
- While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief, as can turning to faith. Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving either.
Ean Evans, a bass player for the group’s later inception from 2001 up until the time he passed away in 2009 at age 48, is the only former member to have died from cancer.
Read MoreThe band originally began in Jacksonville, Florida.
Johnny Van Zant, who took over as the band’s singer 10 years after his brother’s tragic crash, made a statement to the Associated Press. “He’s gone off to a better place brother, if you believe in Christ, in Jesus. I’m just proud to know that his head was in the right place and his heart too.”
The Atlanta, Georgia native, née Donald, was hired to replace the band’s bass player Leon Wilkeson who died in his sleep (of natural causes) in his hotel room while on tour.
Evans, who was living in Mississippi with his family in his later years, was diagnosed with cancer a year before his death in 2008 and is survived by his wife Eva Gaye Widner and their two daughters, Sydney and Andrea. Further details about his illness are unclear.
An obituary tribute read: “Ean was a humble man who never met a stranger, always connected with friends as a true brother and was always looking for a way to give a hand to any and all he met.”
Moving Through Grief
Grief is a difficult, truly personal process that can get easier in time, but can also last a lifetime. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.
Therapy Saved My Life’: After Losing A Loved One, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief, as can turning to faith.
Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving either.
Surviving the Loss of a Partner
Fighting your own cancer battle is one of the toughest experiences in life; watching the disease, or any type of health issue, take someone you love is a different kind of pain. In some cases, a spouse with cancer can take proactive steps to talk about what might come after.
John Duberstein, who lost his wife, writer Nina Riggs, to metastatic triple negative breast cancer told SurvivorNet that while he was watching her suffer from the disease, he couldn’t help but wish things could go back to normal — but Riggs had already embraced her new normal.
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“I really wanted things to go back to normal, whatever that meant,” Duberstein said. “She was not for that. She wanted to embrace the existence that she had, even before she knew she was going to die imminently. I did not want to talk about what was going to happen with me after Nina died. Nina is the one that really brought it up, she brought it up a number of times.”
Duberstein explained that even with the pain of losing his wife, and even though he didn’t want to talk about it at the time, he’s so glad they had those seemingly uncomfortable conversations. “In retrospect, I can’t even explain how glad I am that I had that.”
This is a reminder that having those uncomfortable and painful conversations with your partner can be fundamental to your well-being as you move forward in the grieving process, alleviating the guilt felt in starting to date again, and/or eventually marry.
Finding Joy Every Day
Experts say that doing things each and every day that bring you joy can help you through grief and its many iterations.
Oncologist Dr. Dana Chase from UCLA Health recommends jotting down ten things that make you happy and making the time to do those activities throughout the day. In Amanda Kloots’ case, dancing has been a major help in helping her feel better and cope with the grief she’s been dealing with.
“Sometimes I will talk to a patient about making [a] list of the top ten things that bring them joy. And trying to do those ten things to make at least 50 percent of their experiences positive throughout the day,” Dr. Chase previously told SurvivorNet.
Even if you’re working hard to prioritize your mental health by doing activities you love, it can still be quite overwhelming to think of the things you can’t control during a cancer battle or even the loss of a loved one to disease.
Dr. William Breitbart, chair of the department of psychology and behavioral sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, says acceptance is an important part of living with cancer. And although Kloots isn’t battling cancer, this outlook aligns well with someone who is coping with the loss of a loved one.
Learn to Accept Yourself — A Huge Part of Living With Cancer
“What the task becomes is having the courage to live in the face of uncertainty, realizing that you cannot necessarily control the uncertainty in life, the suffering that occurs, limitations, challenges both good and bad,” Dr. Breitbart said.
“You may not be able to control those but you have control over how you choose to respond to them and the attitudes you take towards them.”
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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