Unconditional Love through Cancer
- Laura and Jordan Ayers were both divorced when they met in 2014 and never intended to remarry, but after Laura’s 2015 breast cancer diagnosis — and seeing how Jordan cared for her during treatment, she decided to take a leap of faith in 2020 and propose to him on Leap Day.
- While planning their wedding, Laura’s breast cancer recurred, or came back, but they didn’t let it alter their life plans and married just days before Laura’s treatment started.
- It is important for people going through cancer to have a strong support system. Having a partner, friend, or family member by your side to help care for and support you through a health struggle can be monumental as you navigate all of the life changes this disease brings.
- Many people celebrate “beating” breast cancer at the end of their treatment, which is a wonderful milestone, but continuing to be actively monitored by your care team is highly important to catch any potential recurrence.
A women proposing to a man on Leap Day is a centuries-old Irish tradition.
Read MoreA double mastectomy is the removal of both breasts, which can be one of the toughest emotional challenges for women going through cancer along with the physical healing.
“Jordan was my carer for the weeks post operation and remained my complete rock,” she recalled of her now-husband, who had a child of his own when they met, four daughters in total between the pair.
Following her treatment, Laura then learned of another surprise — she was pregnant. The proposal made even more sense.
“After everything we had been through, he remained by my side and I felt I had found my soul mate and best friend.”
Laura, who gave birth to a baby boy named Charlie, won a local proposal contest at a garden center after her story was selected. A completely surprised Jordan said yes.
“I wanted to make the proposal all about him. I wanted to say thank you for all he has and continues to do for me.”
Another Curveball
After their son Charlie was born, unfortunately Laura’s breast cancer came back.
“We agreed to make the wedding happen before I started intensive chemotherapy and I lost my hair,” Laura said, moving full steam ahead to marry her love.
They planned the nuptials in six weeks and tied the know on Jan. 8, 2021.
“It was beautiful in every way.”
Foregoing a honeymoon, Laura had surgery three days after the wedding and started chemotherapy two weeks later.
“We are still hoping to get the magical honeymoon, unfortunately life doesn’t stop, especially as a family of seven.”
What matters most is that the two-time survivor is now in remission and thankful for their version of happily ever after.
“I would say to any woman looking to propose to absolutely go for it, life is for living and I have no regrets,” Laura said, and though it may not be the norm, “I wanted to take control and show my love and appreciation. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for my husband.”
Supporting Your Partner as a Caregiver
It is important for people going through cancer to have a strong support system. Having a partner, friend, or family member by your side to help care for and support you through a health struggle can be monumental as you navigate all of the things that this disease brings.
And when you take on a caregiving role, it’s necessary to understand your loved one’s diagnosis and assist them when following cancer-care instructions.
Dr. Jayanthi Lea, a gynecologic oncologist at UT Southwestern Medical Center, previously told SurvivorNet, “I encourage caregivers to come into visits with my patients because in that way, the caregiver is also listening to the recommendations what should be done in between these visits, any changes in treatment plans, any toxicities [side effects] that we need to look out for, changes in dietary habits, exercise, etc.”
Managing Life as a Caregiver
If you are a caregiver, keep in mind it is important to take care of yourself and your health needs as well as you support the other person.
“Caregiving is the most important job in the universe, because you are there through the highs and lows,” Julie Bulger manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center told SurvivorNet.
Learning About Breast Cancer Recurrence
Many people celebrate “beating” breast cancer at the end of their treatment, which is a wonderful milestone, but continuing to be actively monitored by your care team is highly important to catch any potential recurrence.
The chance of breast cancer recurrence varies based on the biology of the tumor, the stage it was when diagnosed and the treatment received.
“Once a patient has finished his or her active therapy for breast cancer, we will often refer to that time as breast cancer survivorship,” Dr. Erica Mayer, a breast cancer medical oncologist at Dana Farber Cancer Institute told SurvivorNet in a previous interview.
A Survivor’s Advice for Getting Through Cancer
“This is a time when patients are still being actively monitored by their treatment team, not only to ensure that they remain healthy and cancer-free in the years ahead, but also making sure that they have recovered from any side effects of their initial treatment, and that they are pursuing healthy behaviors for example, getting regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, and keeping up with all their other routine medical care.”
But recurrence does happen, so it’s important to do everything you can to reduce your risk. Here are some tips:
1. Follow Treatment Guidelines
“The best way to reduce your risk of recurrence with breast cancer is to follow treatment guidelines and complete the course of treatment that’s given,” says Dr. Elisa Port, a surgical oncologist specializing in breast cancer at Mount Sinai, recently sat down with SurvivorNet and offered the following advice.
For example, she says many women have breast cancer that’s hormonally driven, and there are treatments that they give, such as pills like Tamoxifen or aromatase inhibitors, to reduce the risk of these hormonally-driven cancers coming back. The issue is that the course of treatment may call for patients to take the pills for 5-10 years. While some have no side effects, others may experience a host of unpleasant side effects, even to the point where they’re severely debilitated and have no quality of life on these medications.
“So the challenge is to work with every individual person to make sure we give her the best chance of getting through these treatments and enjoying the benefits of these treatments, which is the lowest rate of cancer coming back,” Port says.
2. Maintain a Healthy Weight
Maintaining a healthy weight may also reduce the risk.
“We know that, uh, obesity or being overweight can increase the risk of cancer recurrence in breast cancer,” Port says. “And so I say, maintaining a healthy body weight, whatever that is for the individual… You know, we talk a lot about healthy body weight, and there’s a very big range of this, but there are certain numbers beyond which it does affect one’s health. So we try to keep people within a range of a healthy body weight.”
3. Limit Alcohol
Port says the other lifestyle factor that may increase one’s risk of breast cancer recurrence is heavy alcohol intake.
“We say alcohol in moderation is probably fine, which is defined as three to five drinks a week,” Port told SurvivorNet. “More than that can also potentially increase the risk of recurrence. So the big lifestyle factors are healthy body weight and moderate alcohol intake.”
4. Eat a Healthy Diet
She says there’s no one dietary element that you can eat or consume to give you an edge against breast cancer recurrence. It’s not eating more broccoli or eating more blueberries or becoming a vegetarian. She says the fact that sugar feeds cancer is a big myth too. However, everything you eat does contribute to your overall health.
“These things are all really helpful in maintaining an overall healthy well-balanced diet and also to maintain healthy body weight. We know that diets that are heavy in sugar content are also usually unhealthy and can lead to weight issues. So it all really funnels back to maintaining a healthy body weight when it comes to lifestyle factors.”
5. Exercise
This goes hand-in-hand with maintaining a healthy weight. When people are overweight, they have more inflammation in their body, which sets the body up for more illness and disease, and makes it harder for their immune system to fend off.
While these tips may help reduce your risk, experts say it’s important to understand that if a recurrence happens, it’s not your fault, and there’s nothing you can do to guarantee that cancer won’t come back. The best you can do is work with your health care providers to come up with a plan that best reduces your risk for recurrence while allowing you to embrace and enjoy your life in the present.
What To Ask Your Doctor
- What is my prescribed regimen to help avoid a breast cancer recurrence?
- Are there steps I can take in my daily life to help avoid a breast cancer recurrence?
- Do you have recommendations for someone who doesn’t particularly enjoy exercise?
- Can you recommend a dietician who can help me with healthy eating tips and maintaining a healthy weight?
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