Coping With a Loved One's Cancer Diagnosis
- British TV personality Nathan Henry, of the “Geordie Shore,” has revealed he’s coping with his 74-year-old dad Glen’s stage four lung cancer battle in a “logical, and practical” way.
- Speaking on how people respond to a stressful life event, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet, “The way people respond is very variable. Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
- When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different, and healthy, ways to cope. Some people may seek out traditional therapy, and there should be no shame in that.
- Watching someone you care about struggle with illness is difficult enough, but to be suddenly dealing with the responsibility of caring for them can make the situation that much harder, particularly if you’re nervous you’re not qualified. While you, of course, want to do all you can for your loved one, it’s important to acknowledge your own needs as well.
“I’ll literally fly off the handle in an argument. If someone upsets me, I’ll cry. But when my dad hit me with his news, I went the complete opposite way. I went logical, and practical,” Nathan said on the new docuseries, “Georgie Stories: Nathan and Dad,” in regards to how he’s coping with his emotions throughout this tough time, according to The Mirror.
Read MoreAs for when he learned about his dad’s diagnosis, the 34-year-old reality TV star said, “I knew deep down when he was telling me, I was like, ‘It’s going to be cancer.’ I said, ‘You can work yourself into a frenzy, but there’s no pointView this post on Instagram
“And if you have got cancer, there are so many treatments you can have, it doesn’t mean you’re going to die. Let’s just think positively and stay positive, for now.”
Expert Lung Cancer Resources
- 10 Public Figures Whose Lung Cancer Diagnosis Helped Get the Disease Much-Needed Attention
- 7 Lung Cancer Symptoms to Know; This Disease Can Be Tricky to Catch Early & Doesn’t Just Affect Smokers
- A New Development in the Fight Against Lung Cancer: Explaining the Liquid Biopsy
- Checkpoint Inhibitors Before Surgery Could Improve The Odds For Lung Cancer Patients
- Combining Immunotherapy Drugs in Lung Cancer
- Coffee & Lung Cancer? A New Respectable Study Finds Some Association, Don’t Stop the Starbucks Just Yet
The type of cancer his dad, who has been nicknamed the “big friendly giant” by his son, is battling is stage four lung cancer.
Nathan explained further, “It really shocked me because I was like that with my dad, with my brothers, and then when I thought about [my reaction] later, I didn’t want them to think that I’m heartless and wasn’t worried … because I was.
“But I think, in that moment, there was no need for everyone to be hysterical. Who is that going to help? It’ll make the situation worse. It really shocked me, and even now, when I speak about it, it still kind of shocks me.”
He continued, “If I were hysterical, it wouldn’t have helped my brothers, as they were hysterical. They were both crying. My dad was also trying to be brave when he was telling us on the phone. When I even try and comprehend having that conversation.
“How do you tell your children that you might have a terminal illness and keep your s**t together? If I were on the phone crying, my dad would have cried, and it would have been something he didn’t need. I think I was a bit tough with him.”
View this post on Instagram
Glen also revealed on the show, as per the Daily Mail, that the he was happy to share his cancer journey with his son, which Nathan chiming in, “‘I think what my dad is trying to say is that it’s important that we’ve done this documentary so that we show the realistic side of living with cancer.
‘Because you think people sugar coat stuff, and also there’s no rule book or hand book on how to deal with this. ”
Nathan added, “So the main reason we’ve done this is to show people this is our story and this is how we’ve processed this and hopefully that helps someone else.
Understanding Lung Cancer and Why It’s Hard to Catch Early
Lung cancer forms when cancer cells develop in the tissues of the lung. It is the second most common form of cancer and the leading cause of cancer deaths in both men and women in the U.S., SurvivorNet experts say. It’s “completely asymptomatic,” says thoracic surgeon-in-chief at Temple University Health System Dr. Joseph Friedberg.
“It causes no issues until it has spread somewhere. So, if it spreads to the bones, it may cause pain. If it spreads to the brain, it may cause something not subtle, like a seizure,” Dr. Friedberg adds.
WATCH: Detecting lung cancer in the absence of symptoms.
Scans such as X-rays can help doctors determine if a shadow appears, which can prompt further testing for lung cancer.
Lung cancer often doesn’t cause symptoms until it has already spread outside the lungs, according to SurvivorNet’s experts.
There are two main types of lung cancer, which doctors group together based on how they act and how they’re treated:
Non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC) is the most common type and makes up about 85% of cases.
Small cell lung cancer (SCLC) is less common, but it tends to grow faster than NSCLC and is treated very differently.
RELATED: Learning About Lung Cancer — Prevention and Screening
Some people with lung cancer may experience symptoms such as:
- A cough that doesn’t go away, that gets worse, or that brings up bloody phlegm
- Shortness of breath
- Fatigue
- Chest pain
- Hoarse voice
- Appetite loss
- Weight loss
If you are experiencing these kinds of symptoms consistently, contact your doctor for further tests.
Standard Treatment and Non-traditional Treatment Approaches
Traditional treatment methods for cancer may include surgery, chemotherapy, or radiation regimens. Understandably, these treatments are not easy to deal with as they often bring grueling side effects from hair loss to diarrhea. Some patients opt for non-traditional treatments to avoid these side effects, while others bypass traditional therapy for other reasons. Examples of non-traditional treatments may include relying on herbal supplements, homeopathic drugs, or a changed diet and lifestyle.
A study published in the medical journal JAMA Oncology focused on complementary medicine, refusal of conventional cancer therapy, and patient survival. The researchers surmised that patients are more likely to die when they rely on non-traditional cancer treatments.
WATCH: Complementary Treatment
“We know that many, many patients out there are using complementary and alternative medicine, but they’re not talking with their providers about it,” says Dr. James Yu, a radiation oncologist at Yale Cancer Center who led the study.
Yu and his colleagues examined information collected from 1.9 billion people in the National Cancer Database. They found that people who chose complementary medicine for cancer treatment were more likely to be female, younger, affluent, well-educated, and privately insured.
People who chose complementary medicine were also more likely to refuse some conventional treatments like surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and hormone therapy, Yu says. Unfortunately, these people had a two-fold greater risk of death compared with patients who did not use complementary medicine.
Yu stresses that using complementary therapies to improve patient’s quality of life should be okay as long as they do not interfere with conventional medicines and help them feel better.
Understanding Cancer Caregivers
Assuming the role of a cancer caregiver when a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend is diagnosed with cancer comes with a unique set of responsibilities. The first thing to understand is that there is no shame in asking for help. This can be an overwhelming time for both patients and their caregivers, too.
Through interviews with expert oncologists, social workers, patients advocates, and more, we’ve come up with a checklist of helpful steps cancer caregivers can take throughout the journey.
RELATED: The First Steps to Take as a Caregiver When a Loved One Is Diagnosed With Cancer
Cancer caregivers may:
- Attend doctor visits with the patient
- Help the patient take notes/ask questions
- Provide transportation to and from treatment
- Accompany the patient during treatment
- Help keep track of side effects
- Link up with a social worker/patient navigator
- Help with day-to-day activities
- Provide emotional support
Remember, Cancer Caregivers Should Seek Professional Help If They Need It
When a stressful life event occurs, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different and healthy ways to cope. For some people, this may mean seeking out traditional therapy, but it’s not the only option.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people may respond to stressors in very different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of being a cancer caregiver, there are many options to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
And Let Your Loved One Speak for Themselves
As a caregiver, your job is to help in many ways as this person in your life navigates a difficult disease. Cancer caregivers can help keep track of symptoms, manage finances, and even manage emotions, but they should also let the person they are caring for speak up about what they truly need throughout the process.
“Some of the best examples that I have seen in caregivers are those spouses or loved ones who really, almost sit back and they allow the patient or they want the patient to express what the patient feels first, rather than barging in,” Dr. Lea said. “…Step back a little bit and let the patient speak for themselves. Let them express what they are feeling. That is so important for the patient’s overall quality of life and well-being.”
In a previous conversation with SurvivorNet, breast cancer survivor Melissa Berry said that for her, it was really important that her family be patient as she navigated cancer treatment. She experienced intense emotions and explained that, at times, she just needed space as a patient.
“Cancer can be a huge strain on the entire family, and can definitely be a strain on relationships. And I think, in some ways, it can bring people together. It can make you much stronger, or it could weaken a relationship,” she explained.
“I experienced incredible mood swings, and I, at times, felt like I didn’t even recognize myself. I think that it’s important for the people that are close to the patient to understand that you’re going to be going through some really rough stuff, not just physically, but emotionally.”
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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