Published Jul 8, 2025

Woman Diagnosed With Multiple Sclerosis At 22 Urges Importance Of Support Groups: ‘Your Family & Friends Are a Good Place To Start, But They Don’t Always Understand’

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The Power of Support

Ilona Deyzel, a loving wife and dog mom, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) at 22 years old. Now, 34, she’s sharing her MS journey and advising others how helpful support groups can be.
There is no cure for MS, a disease of the central nervous system in which the immune system eats away at the protective covering of the body’s nerves, but some people treat the disease using chemotherapy, medications, or steroid drugs.
While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief. Faith can also be a powerful coping mechanism for some.
Whichever methods of support you look for after a health diagnosis or losing a loved one, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.

Ilona Deyzel, a loving wife and dog mom living in South Africa, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), a condition that impacts the central nervous system, at just 22 years old. Now, 34, she’s sharing her MS journey and advising others how helpful support groups can be.

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Deyzel, whose late uncle also battle MS, was diagnosed with the disease after the right side of her face went numb 15 years ago, a symptom which prompted her to see her doctor immediately. Since the numbness had spread down the right side of her body, her doctor presumed it was MS, she explains to GoodThingsGuy in a recent interview.

However, two weeks later, after seeing a neurologist and undergoing an MRI and lumbar puncture, she officially received her diagnosis.

About one year after her worrying symptoms begun, her feet went numb, prompting her to get another MRI—which led doctors to put her on medication and help manage her MS.

Since then, she got married, beat stage 1B1 cervical cancer, underwent surgery to remove only her cervix, and attempted to have children but had two MS relapses.

She further told the South African news outlet GoodThingsGuy, “Get yourself a support group. Your family and friends are a good place to start, but they don’t always understand.

“At MSSA [Multiple Sclerosis South Africa] you will definitely find someone who has experienced what you are experiencing at this moment. Even if we cannot give advice, at least we know the feeling. We are in this together.”

She continued, “Take every day as it comes. One day you feel like you can climb Mount Everest, the next day you don’t even want to climb out of your bed, and that’s okay. Listen to your body, don’t try to be brave.

“Everyone’s MS journey is unique; some people can go do a marathon, some people can’t. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Just focus on what makes you happy and surround yourself with people who add meaning to your life.”

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Deyzel praises the charity groups Non Smit and MSSA, saying, “Through them, I met wonderful people in Port Elizabeth, South Africa and even overseas. But big shoutout to my group of wonderful MS warriors in PE and the surrounding areas. They are very special to me.

“But the biggest triumph for me is every day when I am able to wake up and walk. It’s the little things we must be grateful for that we take for granted. There are so many people, and especially people living with MS, who wish to just take 1 step on their own.”

Understanding Multiple Sclerosis

Multiple sclerosis causes the immune system to attack cells that form the protective sheath that covers nerve fibers in the spinal cord. The disruption leads to communication problems between the brain and the rest of the body.

Once the protective barrier is damaged, the spinal cord struggles to send messages to the arms, legs, and other parts of the body to function normally.

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society outlines the different types of multiple sclerosis:

Clinically isolated syndrome (CIS): This is when an individual experiences a single neurological episode lasting 24 hours or less. CIS is what MS is diagnosed as until there is a second episode.
Relapsing-remitting MS (RRMS): The most common MS among the million people battling the disease in the US, RRMS is marked by sudden flare-ups, new symptoms, or worsening of symptoms and cognitive function. The condition will then go into remission for some time before reemerging with no known warning signs.
Primary progressive MS (PPMS): These individuals have no flare-ups or remission, just a steady decline with progressively worse symptoms and an increasing loss of cognitive and body functions.
Secondary progressive MS (SPMS): This is an almost transitional form of MS that progresses from RRMS to PPMS.

In addition to balance issues, numbness, and tingling in the limbs, other common MS symptoms include vision and bladder control problems. Mood changes and mental and physical fatigue are other symptoms people living with MS may experience according to the National Institute of Health.

Treating Multiple Sclerosis

There is no cure for MS, but MS warriors battling the disease do have methods to manage their symptoms.

Common tools MS patients use to improve their quality of life include wheelchairs, canes, leg braces and some medical treatments called disease-modifying therapies (DMTs).

A study in American Family Physician found DMTs “has been shown to slow disease progression and disability; options include injectable agents, infusions, and oral medications targeting different sites in the inflammatory pathway.”

While chemotherapy is widely known as a cancer treatment that uses drugs to kill cancer cells, it is also effective at slowing down or stopping disease activity in MS. Actress Selma Blair previously underwent chemotherapy as part of her treatment for MS.

Questions for Your Doctor

If you are diagnosed with MS or may be concerned you have the chronic disease due to symptoms you’re experiencing, consider asking your doctor the following questions.

Although there’s no cure for MS, which treatment option to manage my symptoms do you recommend for me?
Are there any potential side effects of MS treatment?
What if the treatment to manage symptoms doesn’t work?
Will exercise or therapy help my symptoms?
Are there any MS support groups you recommend to help me cope?

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Finding Support Through a Health Battle

Feeling support from a friends, loved ones, or coworkers can help you express your feelings and maintain a positive attitude during a your own, or a loved one’s health battle or the aftermath of losing someone.

Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin previously wrote for SurvivorNet, that it’s “important that you surround yourself with individuals who care and support you throughout your treatment,” which she said can be an “arduous chapter.”

That being said, it’s very important to know your limits on what you can handle during treatment.

“Going through treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” she wrote. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”

It is important cancer warriors in the midst of their fight to have a strong support system. So how can you support a loved on in your life who is fighting cancer? SurvivorNet suggests multiple ways you can do so.

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Dr. Shelly Tworoger, a researcher at Moffitt Cancer Center told SurvivorNet that “there’s a number of common things cancer patients can experience, such as anxiety, depression, financial toxicity, social isolation and sometimes even PTSD.” So helping to ease those feelings is a great way to support your loved one.

You can help complete household chores or running errands during the day, which your loved one may not have the time or energy to do. Or, you can simply lend an ear so patients can talk through their feelings, which can help them cope with what they are experiencing during this difficult time.

Meanwhile, there are some practical tips to help you interact with your loved one in a meaningful way. Our experts suggest to avoid asking how you can help. Instead, be proactive and offer tangible things you can do for them to make their lives easier. That could include bringing them food, cooking them dinner or playing a board game with them, anything that will bring them joy.

It’s important to understand that a support system can be made up of loved ones like family and friends. It can also be comprised of strangers who have come together because of a shared cancer experience. Mental health professionals can also be critical parts of a support system.

WATCH: Sharing details about your cancer diagnosis.

“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friend’s circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet.

“But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional,” Dr. Plutchik added.

Dr. Plutchik also stressed it is important for people supporting cancer warriors to understand their emotions can vary day-to-day.

“People can have a range of emotions, they can include fear, anger, and these emotions tend to be fluid. They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process,” Dr. Plutchik said.