Caregiving For Loved Ones
- Rapper and music producer Eminem, 51, is reportedly helping his mom Debbie Nelson financially while she’s battling advanced lung cancer, a source reportedly told InTouch Weekly this month.
- A caregiver may be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a close friend, or a child. This special person often assumes multiple roles to make the life of their loved one battling cancer easier. Examples of caregiver activities may include attending doctor visits, helping the patient take notes and ask questions, providing transportation to treatment, and helping with everyday activities such as preparing meals.
- Being a caregiver is one of the most significant and challenging experiences a human can go through, and it’s important to not forget about your health as you dedicate a large part of your life to serving another.
- If you are caregiving for someone with cancer or another serious illness, this SurvivorNet guide can help you through.
The 51-year-old Hip-Hop star, who is also known for being one of the best-selling musicians of the 21st century, has been offering financial support to his mom amid her health battle, as per InTouch Weekly, which spoke with an inside source earlier this month, learning she is “terminally ill with advanced lung cancer.”
Read MoreThe source also claimed that Eminem hasn’t spoken with his mom other other relatives living in Missouri for a couple of years.
“People around her aren’t even sure if Eminem is even aware of what is happening to his mother. He’s good to his mom. He makes sure he takes care of her, but they don’t really talk,” the unidentified insider added.
RELATED: Advanced Lung Cancer: Experts Explain What Some Newly Diagnosed Patients May Need to Know
“It would be good for both of them [to communicate]. This could give them the chance to reconcile.”
Expert Resources On Caregiving
- Caregiving Isn’t Easy; Recognize That You May Need Help
- Caregiving: An Opportunity for Healing
- ‘A Sacred and Blessed Calling’ – Managing Life As a Caregiver
- Caregivers Can’t Provide Optimal Care for Their Loved Ones with Cancer If They Don’t Care for Themselves
- Here Are Top Tips For Cancer Caregivers To Help Them Through The Process
- How to Be a Better Caregiver for Your Loved One
- Patrick Dempsey’s Advice to Cancer Caregivers: Take Care of Yourself, Too
Eminem—who was previously sued by his mom for defamation of character back in 1999 and rapped about his relationship with her in sons like “Cleanin’ Out My Closet” and “Headlights”—also allegedly has “trust issues” with some other family members, the source told InTouch Weekly.
The source reportedly recounted Eminem being sued by his aunt and uncle in 2005 when he allegedly tried to evict them from their residence.
Meanwhile. Eminem’s mom, who also fought breast cancer, published a book titled, “My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem: Setting the Record Straight on My Life as Eminem’s Mother,” in 2008.
“I’m not ever gonna give up on my kids,” Eminem’s mom told Village Voice leading up to her book release. “There’s hope for everybody. It’s a matter of just basically swallowing your pride.”
As for her breast cancer battle, Nelson said at that time, “I’m still under doctor’s care, which I probably will be for a while. Basically a lot of the stuff is hereditary, but that happens.
“Cancers and heart disease and all that, and all the genetic things … I worry about my boys, having high blood pressure and things.”
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Cancer Caregivers: The Basics
Assuming the role of a cancer caregiver when a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or friend is diagnosed with cancer comes with a unique set of responsibilities. The first thing to understand is that there is no shame is asking for help. This can be an overwhelming time for both patients and their caregivers, too.
Through interviews with expert oncologists, social workers, patients advocates, and more, we’ve come up with a checklist of helpful steps cancer caregivers can take throughout the journey.
Cancer caregivers may:
- Attend doctor visits with the patient
- Help the patient take notes/ask questions
- Provide transportation to and from treatment
- Accompany the patient during treatment
- Help keep track of side effects
- Link up with a social worker/patient navigator
- Help with day-to-day activities
- Provide emotional support
RELATED: Patrick Dempsey’s Advice to Cancer Caregivers: Take Care of Yourself, Too
How Cancer Caregivers Can Find Time to Care for Themselves
When you suddenly find yourself acting as a cancer caregiver, the lifestyle adjustment can be jarring. Many people welcome the role of cancer caregiver and the opportunity to help out someone they care about deeply but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Filling a caregiver role can be extremely stressful and caregivers often neglect their own needs, which can create a host of additional problems. Experts stress that you will be a better caregiver if you also prioritize caring for yourself. Taking care of your health whether that be with diet, exercise, or making time for activities you enjoy is still crucial.
Julie Bulger gives some tips on how caregivers can care for themselves.
“It is important to have some things that you can do that’s kind of outside of the focus of caring for somebody that you love with cancer,” Julie Bulger, manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville, told SurvivorNet.
Bulger suggested caregivers find some activities that help them relax like taking a walk or going for a massage.
RELATED: Check Out SurvivorNet’s Resources on Mental Health
“There’s a lot of opportunities for support virtually through educational resources, support communities,” she added. “You can talk to somebody. You can get therapy virtually now.”
When a stressful life event occurs like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different and healthy ways to cope. For some people, this may mean seeking out traditional therapy, but it’s not the only option.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people may respond to stressors in very different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of being a cancer caregiver, there are many options to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
Support Matters
Having a strong community around you, as Eminem’s mom appears to have, even without him physically by her side, is ideal when challenged by health struggles.
Dealing with cancer or any sort of health battle for that matter can be overwhelming, so having physical and emotional support is crucial. That being said, it’s very important to know your limits on what you can handle as you undergo treatment and recover from your cancer, and that includes relationships.
“Going through [cancer] treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much, [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
Finding Joy After Cancer Turns Your Life Upside-Down
Dr. Strongin does note, however, that having people by your side during this “arduous chapter” of your life can be hugely beneficial.
“Studies have found consistently that loneliness is a significant risk factor for physical and mental illnesses and the trajectory of recovery,” she wrote. “Therefore, it will be important that you surround yourself with individuals who care and support you throughout your treatment.”
In a previous chat with SurvivorNet, psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik added that some cancer warriors may need to look beyond their existing relationships to find the support they need.
“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friends circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” Dr. Plutchik said. “But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional.”
Seeking Support: Dr. Plutchik Shares The First 3 Things To Do After a Cancer Diagnosis
Dr. Plutchik said it’s best to find a mental health professional with experience aiding people undergoing cancer treatment.
“Make sure that the mental health professional that you work it is reaching out, with your consent, to the rest of your team, to the oncologist, to the surgeon,” she said. “It can also be helpful to reach out to family, friends, and any other caretakers that may be involved in the person’s treatment.”
Catching Lung Cancer Early — CT Scans Save Lives
Currently, according to the latest guidelines published in the American Cancer Society‘s flagship journal, the ACS recommends that “primary care or specialty care providers refer 50 to 80-year-olds for yearly screening with LDCT (low-dose CT scan) if they currently smoke or used to smoke, have a 20-pack-year or more smoking history, without any symptoms of lung cancer.”
RELATED: Lung Cancer in Smokers vs. Non-Smokers
With lung cancer, early detection is essential. The sooner doctors catch this cancer, the more likely that treatment will be successful. Early-stage lung cancers that are removed with surgery may even be curable. But all too often, lung cancer isn’t detected until it has already spread, as reflected in Kentucky’s high numbers, and it’s more difficult to treat.
“In about 70 to 80% of patients who are diagnosed with lung cancer, unfortunately the cancer has spread outside of the lung and is not suitable for surgery,” Dr. Patrick Forde, thoracic oncologist at Johns Hopkins Medicine, tells SurvivorNet, of lung cancer patients as a whole.
Former & Current Heavy Smokers Should Get Lung Cancer Screenings Using CT Scan, Says Leading Expert
A study published in the February 2020 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine found that former and current longtime smokers ages 50 to 74 who had low-dose CT scans were less likely to die from lung cancer (24% lower risk in men and 33% lower risk in women) than those who didn’t have this test.
“[The CT scans] were able to pick [up the cancer] at an earlier stage and potentially cure them at a higher rate than not doing screening,” Dr. Forde says.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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