Published Mar 25, 2019

Real Housewife NeNe Leakes Suggests Her Husband's Colon Cancer is Karma Shame & Blame Should Never Happen With Cancer

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The overwrought world of reality TV has caught the attention of the SurvivorNet community after one of TV’s more outrageous figures seemed to have blamed her husband’s colon cancer on karma; as in he somehow deserved to get sick. Real Housewives of Atlanta alumnus NeNe Leakes suggested that her husband Gregg's stage three colon cancer was a karmic punishment for his infidelity. We want to preface this story by saying that no one should ever blame themselves for a cancer diagnosis. Cancer is not a punishment, and cancer does not discriminate.

Leakes was commenting on acting as a caretaker for her husband as he battles colon cancer. The couple went public with Gregg’s diagnosis in June 2018, and the RHOA husband has been pretty vocal on social media about his battle. The question of karma came up in a YouTube video from NeNe, where she said, "As a caretaker, you startit depends on where your relationship is â€¦ You look at the person and think about, you know people love to say, 'Karma is a bitch,' and karma this and karma that â€¦ You look at the person and say, "You did so many different things to me. Is this the payback?' You hope not â€¦ But as a caretaker, these are the thoughts that go through your head."

A lot of survivors have told us that they couldn't help but think, why me? A diagnosis can certainly do a number on any person's mental healththat includes people suffering from the disease, and those who are watching a loved one go through the disease. When discussing the shame and anger many people feel when they’re going through cancer, Dr. William S. Breitbart, the chair of the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, said it’s important to remember that you are a human being–and human beings can get sick, through absolutely no fault of their own.

“What the task becomes is having the courage to live in the face of uncertainty, realizing that you cannot necessarily control the uncertainty in life â€¦ the suffering that occurs, challenges both good and bad," Dr. Breitbart said. "You may not be able to control those, but you have control over how you choose to respond."

Even the strongest people can experience a bit of losing their faith after a cancer diagnosis. Why me? — is a really common question. The thing to remember during times like these is, cancer is not your fault. Suggestions like the one Leakes made, that cancer is caused by some sort of wrongdoing, can be really hurtful for survivors.

Colon cancer survivor Jovannie Lorenzo told SurvivorNet that she spent a lot of time after her diagnosis wondering what she did to deserve it. But she says, eventually, it was faith that got her through it. "You're not human if you don't question at some point in your life, why me?" Jovannie said. "Why would this happen to me, why God? What did I do? But trust in what's in your heart. Trust in what you feel and trust in what you know. And don't lose that hope, don't lose that love that you have for your God."

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