Relationships and Cancer
- Actress Shannen Doherty is currently battling stage four breast cancer, but she is thriving. It seems she’s even in a better place with her former Charmed co-star Alyssa Milano.
- Metastatic breast cancer also called "stage four" breast cancer means that the cancer has spread, or metastasized, beyond the breasts to other parts of the body. There is technically no cure, but advancements in treatments can dramatically improve outcomes and that is something to be hopeful for.
- Going through cancer treatment can be a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience, so it can help to have a strong support system. That being said, it's important to notice what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much during your cancer journey and that includes your relationships.
- One of our experts says some people may need to look beyond their family and friends circle to get the extra support they need. For those people, she recommends finding a mental health professional with experience aiding people undergoing cancer treatment.
The 51-year-old actress, best known for her roles in Heathers, Charmed and Beverly Hills, 90210, was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015 after finding a lump in her breast. At first, she was treated with hormone therapy, but this effort turned out to be ineffective as the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes.
Read MoreShannen Doherty and Alyssa Milano’s Relationship
Being the best version of herself also means working on her relationships possibly including SHanne Doherty’s relationship with none other than her former Charmed co-star Alyssa Milano, 49.
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After years of tension on the show together, it seems the two are in a much different place now.
"I would say we are cordial," Milano shared in a 2021 interview with Entertainment Tonight. "You know, I could take responsibility for a lot of our tension that we had. I think a lot of our struggle came from feeling that I was in competition rather than it being that sisterhood that the show was so much about. And I have some guilt about my part in that."
Milano even said that the two have been in touch throughout Doherty's cancer battle.
"When I heard about her diagnosis, I reached out to her… And I will send her DMs every couple of months to just check in," Milano said. "I have respect for her. Great actress, loves her family so much, and I just wish I could've felt strong enough in who I was to recognize that back then."
Understanding Shannen Doherty’s Cancer: Metastatic Breast Cancer
Shannen Doherty is currently battling stage four, or metastatic, breast cancer. Metastatic breast cancer means that the cancer has spread, or metastasized, beyond the breasts to other parts of the body. It most commonly spreads to the bones, liver and lungs, but it may also spread to the brain or other organs.
And while there is technically no cure for metastatic breast cancer, there are a wide variety of treatment options used to battle the disease including hormone therapy, chemotherapy, targeted drugs, immunotherapy and a combination of various treatments.
In a previous interview with SurvivorNet, Dr. Elizabeth Comen, an oncologist with Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, explained how she tries to management breast cancer when it has progressed to a later stage.
"With advanced disease, the goal of treatment is to keep you as stable as possible, slow the tumor growth and improve your quality of life," she said.
The American Cancer Society reports that there were more than 3.8 million U.S. women with a history of breast cancer alive at the start of 2019. Some of the women were cancer-free, and others still had evidence of the disease, but they also reported that more than 150,000 breast cancer survivors were living with metastatic disease, three-fourths of whom were originally diagnosed with stage I-III. And with ongoing advancements in treatments and options out there today that can dramatically reduce symptoms, there are many reasons to be hopeful.
One major advancement that's made recent headlines is the reclassification of some advanced breast cancers as HER2 "low." During an interview on ABC's Good Morning America, Dr. Comen highlighted an exciting treatment for this new classification of metastatic breast cancer patients.
"One of the most challenging types of cancer to treat is metastatic breast cancer," Dr. Comen said. "And a new treatment, an FDA approved treatment, called Enhertu or T-DXd is being used to improve the survival of patients with a new classification of metastatic breast cancer called HER2-low metastatic breast cancer," said Dr. Comen. "So, for anybody watching if they or their loved one has metastatic breast cancer, it's critical that they ask their doctor, 'Do I have HER2-low breast cancer and might this be an appropriate treatment for me?"
Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer
Dr. Elizabeth Comen says there is a lot of hope to be found in the world of metastatic breast cancer.
“I treat women day in and day out who have metastatic breast cancer,” she told SurvivorNet. “And I see the fear in their eyes, and I also see the hope in their eyes.
“And I share in that hope. Why do I share in that hope? Because I have so many patients who are living with their cancer… It isn’t just about living, but living well.”
One person who is “living well” with metastatic breast cancer is Brittney Beadle. She was diagnosed with the disease at just 18 years old, but she’s always made sure her outlook is positive.
"I Have to Live With This, And I Can Do It": Dealing With Cancer at 18 Years Old
"I thought OK, I have to live with this, but I can do it, and I'm gonna live my best life possible," Beadle told SurvivorNet. "So I picked up and I moved to Florida and I'm like, this is it, I'm living my life. And I got a job at Universal Studios, where I always wanted to work."
RELATED: Metastatic Breast Cancer: You Are Not a Statistic
And the management of metastatic breast cancer is changing all the time with ongoing advancements being made. Judy Perkins, for example, became the first person to be declared free of metastatic breast cancer after completing a course of immunotherapy treatments during a 2015 clinical trial.
An Immunotherapy Breakthrough: The Judy Perkins Story
Dr. Steven Rosenberg, Chief of Surgery at the NCI and a pioneer in the field of immunotherapy, previously told SurvivorNet that Perkins was one of the first patients "to teach us that by carefully looking at (her) body's immune cells, we could identify cells that uniquely recognize her cancer and by growing them in a lab and giving her enough of them we could actually cause the cancer to regress completely."
It’s safe to say that an advanced stage breast cancer diagnosis does not mean the end of your life. And, hopefully, we’ll find a definitive cure for the disease one day soon.
Relationships during a Cancer Battle
It's no secret that fighting cancer can be overwhelming, so having physical and emotional support from friends, family and partners during your battle is huge. And licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin says having people by your side during this "arduous chapter" of your life can be very beneficial.
"Studies have found consistently that loneliness is a significant risk factor for physical and mental illnesses and the trajectory of recovery," she wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. "Therefore, it will be important that you surround yourself with individuals who care and support you throughout your treatment."
That being said, it's very important to know your limits on what you can handle during treatment.
"Going through treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience," she wrote. "Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much… [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment."
Bianca Muniz is both an ovarian and breast cancer survivor. She told SurvivorNet some of her friendships ended because certain people just couldn't understand what she was going through.
Two-time cancer survivor Bianca Muniz explains how she found a support system during treatment
"I've lost a lot of friends … because people don't really know how to deal with what I'm going through," she told SurvivorNet. "I didn't care to talk about what was happening with me. I just wanted things to be normal and they didn't really understand how to do that."
Some people, on the other hand, might experience a positive change in their relationships when battling cancer like in the case of Shannen Doherty and Alyssa Milano. For actress and melanoma survivor Jill Kargman, cancer was a true test of the strength for her relationship with her partner. In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Kargman says the disease "is a great way to find out if you're with the love of your life or a shithead."
Jill Kargman On Relationships And Cancer
"I think it presses the fast forward button on getting to the bottom of that answer, because a lot of people in middle age are kind of at a crossroads, waiting for their kids to fly the coop," Kargman said. "I think if you're with someone who is not supportive and kind of emotionally checked out or doesn't tell you you're still beautiful with that, this might not be your person."
Still, psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik says some cancer warriors may need to look beyond their existing relationships to find the support they need.
Seeking Support: The First 3 Things to Do after a Cancer Diagnosis
"Some people don't need to go outside of their family and friends circle. They feel like they have enough support there," Dr. Plutchik told SurvivorNet. "But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional."
Dr. Plutchik says it’s best to find a mental health professional with experience aiding people undergoing cancer treatment.
“Make sure that the mental health professional that you work it is reaching out with your consent to the rest of your team, to the oncologist, to the surgeon,” she said. “It can also be helpful to reach out to family, friends, and any other caretakers that may be involved in the person's treatment.”
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