Deciding When to Share a Cancer Diagnosis Can Be Tricky
- It’s unclear what stage cancer Tristan Rogers has been diagnosed with or what type of treatment he will be undergoing, but diagnosis stands as a reminder on the importance of privacy, cancer screenings, and early detection.
- Some people battling a disease like cancer are open to sharing their experiences as much as they can, while others prefer to keep it to themselves. SurvivorNet experts say both approaches and everything in between are valid.
- It’s important to remember that choosing to share a cancer journey is a personal choice, whether you’re a celebrity or not, and the same goes for other private topics.
Publicist Anthony Turk, who shared the news in a statement, according to TV Insider, explained, “Beloved Emmy-winning actor Tristan Rogers, best known for his role as Robert Scorpio on the daytime drama, General Hospital, is sharing with fans that he has been diagnosed with cancer.
Read MoreTurk said the actor “sends love to his fans and wants them to know how much he appreciates their loyalty and encouragement over the years.”
“This support means more to him now than ever. Future updates will be shared if deemed appropriate by Tristan and his family,” the statement concluded.
Rogers, a loving husband to his wife Teresa Parkerson and dad to their two children, is also known for playing the voice of Jake in the Walt Disney Pictures’ animated film “The Rescuers Down Under.”
He stepped into the role of his long-running character on the ABC soap opera “General Hospital” back in 1980.
Rogers also appeared in other soap operas, including “The Young and the Restless” and “The Bold and the Beautiful.”
Since the news of Rogers’ cancer battle, fans have taken to social media to wish he a “speedy recovery.”
One fan wrote on X, formerly Twitter, “Praying and pulling for you, Tristan! Wishing you much strength as you work on beating this! Much love always!”
Another wrote, “Anyone who is a fan of GH knows and loves this character and the actor who brings him to life. This is heartbreaking.
“I’m filled with hope and love for a speedy recovery.”
The Choice to Share
The choice to share or not share one’s cancer diagnosis is a personal one for anyone facing the disease, even if they’re not a celebrity. While some people choose to share only with close friends and family, others post their entire journey on social media, create blogs and detail their treatments, side effects and doctor reports.
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According to Dr. Renee Exelbert, a licensed psychologist and founding director of The Metamorphosis Center for Psychological and Physical Change in New York, the decision to openly disclose or not disclose one’s diagnosis may be made more complicated for someone in the public eye, as they may feel pressure to serve as a role model, or to use their notable platform for the greater good.
She says public figures and celebrities are often held to a harsher standard, frequently having their appearance and behaviors rigorously evaluated. This might make hiding a cancer diagnosis more difficult and may also make disclosing a cancer diagnosis a greater burden to bear.
Also, just because someone is a public figure or celebrity does not spare them from judgment and the insensitive comments of others, especially while they may be fighting for their life.
Dr. Exelbert says the decision to disclose or not disclose a cancer diagnosis is a very individual and personal one in any case.
“Certain Individuals may feel as though their sense of self has been deeply impacted by their diagnosis, and they want to keep it private. At their core, certain individuals may struggle with appearing weak, vulnerable or sick, and particularly do not want to withstand the opinion or commentary of others while facing a cancer diagnosis,” she explained.
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“Additionally, some may feel that revealing a cancer diagnosis may pose a threat to their sense of professional identity and how capable they are perceived by others.”
Dr. Exelbert also said some may feel they don’t have the coping resources to withstand scrutiny, whereas others may welcome the distraction and attention. Most importantly, however, she said there is no right or wrong approach.
“When an individual experiences trauma, which cancer certainly is, they need to be in charge of how their story is told in order to avoid further disempowerment.
“Thus, the decision to disclose or not to disclose should be wholly and rightfully left up to each individual.”
So, is one way more beneficial than the other? Dr. Exelbert says there are pros and cons to sharing.
“A positive aspect of sharing one’s diagnosis on social media is the potential to receive an outpouring of support, occasionally from people all over the world who have experienced something similar, and who may be able to offer useful suggestions,” Exelbert says. “Additionally, someone’s unique story may catch the attention of those performing clinical trials or offering unique treatment options, looking for participants.”
She said the ability to inspire countless people with one’s experience and story can also be a very powerful motivating factor.
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“Some individuals are looking to chronicle their journey, almost as testament to what they have experienced and to leave a legacy. It might additionally be beneficial to publicly share one’s story, as it can serve as a platform to educate others about cancer and its emotional and physical symptoms, as well as challenge stigma and change society.”
On the other hand, she says a con of revealing one’s diagnosis on social media is that people may share unsolicited stories of poor outcomes that they have either heard about, or experienced personally, many of which are unrelated to your particular situation. For example, some may tell you they know someone who had the same type of cancer, but died, which can be overwhelming and create undue stress.
“Additionally, once you share your diagnosis, you often have to manage the emotional experience of others,” Dr. Exelbert told SurvivorNet.
“Sometimes, people will be very upset by your diagnosis and need you to take care of them or make your situation easier for them to deal with. This can prove quite difficult when you are barely in control of managing your own emotions. Further, many individuals might find it quite difficult to present themselves in such a vulnerable way on social media, as many often utilize this medium to garner accolades from presenting their ‘ideal self’ versus their ‘real self.’”
No matter what someone’s choice is when it comes to sharing a cancer diagnosis, the most important thing is that they feel support. For some, support from a few close friends, family members or professionals may be enough, while others need to feel connected on a larger scale. The last thing anyone needs is to be made to feel bad about that choice.
It’s important to remember that due to cancer treatment not being a one size fits all approach, it affects everyone different mentally, and not everyone feels comfortable sharing what they are going through with others in social situations.
Do I need to share my diagnosis with others? Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik weighs in.
Some people want to share their experiences as much as they can and others don’t want to tell anyone. Both of these approaches, and everything in between (maybe you only want to tell a few close friends about your diagnosis), are valid.
“Patients who have just been diagnosed with cancer sometimes wonder how they are going to handle the diagnosis of the cancer in social situations,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik explained to SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
“How much information they should share and with whom they should share the information … everybody is different.”
Dr. Plutchik explains that some share the information widely, with family, friends, and beyond and feel comfortable doing so. “Other people are much more private about it,” she says. “And there is no one right way to handle this diagnosis.
“People should do what feels right to them. Going through a cancer diagnosis, through treatment, is often a very long process. And then if you also include after treatment ends where a person is in a kind of state of limbo, waiting to see if they are clear and get their scans. It may be three months or six months into the future. People are still dealing with uncertainty at that point,” she explains.
Dr. Plutchik also stresses that those close to a person going through cancer should be respectful of their wishes when it comes to disclosing their diagnosis and seeking support.
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Taking Care of Your Mental Health
We’re glad to hear that Rogers is staying strong and hoping for the best as he fights cancer, and it’s important to remember that taking care of your mental health isn’t always easy, but it should always be a priority. One place to start is simply being aware of how you’re feeling and reflecting on any changes you’ve noticed in your emotions or behaviors.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, you should see a professional if you are experiencing severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two weeks or more, such as:
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Struggling to leave bed in the morning because of your mood
- Trouble concentrating
- Loss of interest in things you normally enjoy
- Inability to perform normal daily functions and responsibilities
It’s important to try to get help before your symptoms of a mental health issue become overwhelming. Talk with your primary care doctor about any concerns you’re having, so they can refer you to a mental health professional if needed.
Therapy can also be a way of taking care of your mental health. But know you might need to shop around for the right therapist. Ovarian cancer survivor Ni Guttenfelder says finding the right counselor allowed her to work through the complex emotions of her cancer battle.
“One of the things that my counselor has taught me from the very beginning that has helped me is the concept of acceptance,” she said. “Acceptance is a process. It’s like downloading a computer file in increments. Visualizing it in that way has really helped me.”
Meditation and practicing mindfulness can also be great tools in mental health care. Dr. Deepak Chopra, acclaimed author and pioneer of mindfulness movement, previously spoke with SurvivorNet about mindfulness. He says asking yourself who you are is the first step on the path to practicing mindfulness.
In addition, medications can also help people with a mental health illness. They are not necessary for everyone, but medications can make a difference. And there should be no shame attached to taking them.
That being said, it can be tricky to find the right one and your needs may change over time. Dr. Plutchik says genetic testing through Genomind can help. It gives a profile of how a person is likely to respond to different types of psychiatric medications.
MORE: How Can Genetic Testing Help Determine the Right Form of Mental Health Treatment?
“Doing the genetic testing has absolutely transformed the landscape of psycho-pharmacology,” Dr. Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “It’s something that I highly recommend for anybody that is taking medication, whether they are being treated for cancer, or not.
“I recommend it for children who are taking medication. I recommend it for elderly people. Anybody who is taking medication, I think, can greatly benefit from genetic testing.”
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- What type of treatment should I seek if I’m struggling with negative thoughts?
- Are there any local support groups for people in my situation?
- How might struggling with mental health affect my treatment?
- Should I consider medical interventions such as antidepressants?
“If we can combine our actions in the world with reflective self inquiry, love and compassion, and a state of secure, stable, ornamental, peaceful being without the addictions that humans have, then we can begin our journey of healing,” Dr. Chopra explained.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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