Struggling with Survivor Guilt
- Katie Couric, who lost her first husband to colorectal cancer in 1998, says she still struggles with survivor guilt and questions whether she supported him emotionally enough.
- Whether you are facing cancer yourself or watching a loved one battle the disease, expressing your emotions is important while prioritizing your emotional health.
- An expert says there are ways to cope with a cancer diagnosis, and learning to forgive yourself is a very important step in the process.
In 1997, Monahan was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer, which is a cancer that occurs in the colon or rectum, and sometimes is referred to as colon cancer. Couric was right by her husband’s side while he went through treatment, but due to the disease being advanced, treatment options weren’t as successful. He passed away a year later, and since Couric has become a passionate advocate for cancer research and prevention. Now, she’s sharing her first-hand experience coping after the loss of her husband, and how she struggled with survivor guilt after his passing.
Read MoreColorectal Cancer Screenings
Experts are constantly debating whether age guidelines for colorectal cancer screenings should be changed as cases among young adults are on the rise. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently drafted new recommended guidelines which state colon cancer screenings should begin at 45-years-old. In the past, the disease had predominantly been found in adults 50-years or older, but for those predisposed to get it at a younger age, these new guidelines could potentially help catch it at an earlier stage. This could be very beneficial, especially since the earlier cancer is caught, the more likely treatment will be successful.
People can screen for colorectal cancer by going through a colonoscopy every 10 years, where doctors will look inside the colon for any signs of tumors or disease. Experts recommend those who have a close relative who has had colon cancer should get screened 10 years prior to their age of diagnosis. This can ensure any growths or cancers are caught early. If you have several family members who had colon cancer, or family members who got it at a young age (less than 50 years old), it may be necessary to also undergo genetic testing.
Dr. Heather Yeo explains why colon cancer screening is so important
Emotional Health is Important During & After Cancer
Couric’s fear about openly talking to her husband about his cancer diagnosis is far more common than some may think. After a diagnosis, whether you are a patient or a family member, emotions such as anxiety, anger, fear, and sadness is completely common and expected. Even though cancer treatment typically takes the spotlight during a person's cancer journey, emotional well-being is also important. This goes for both the person battling as well as their support system. Coming to terms with a diagnosis is a process, and talking about it can be difficult for some. However, accepting yourself while facing cancer can be one of the best ways to lift your spirits.
A huge way to come to terms emotionally with a cancer battle is by embracing vulnerability. It’s important that any emotions a patient or caregiver is feeling are expressed, since bottling these emotions up can really impact mental health. For some, shame and embarrassment may be a common feeling they experience, but no matter what you feel, it’s important to voice it.
Related: Patrick Dempsey's Advice to Cancer Caregivers: Take Care of Yourself, Too
“Shame comes from this sense of vulnerability There's something wrong with me because I'm human and I'm susceptible to illness, and now I have an illness. Now I have cancer," Dr. William Breitbart, Chief of the Psychiatry Service at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet in a previous interview. "What I will often point out to people is that we have the ability to choose how we respond to this vulnerability. We can be ashamed of it. Or we can use it to create a sense of empathy.”
Once embracing this vulnerability, the last step in coping is to forgive yourself and push away any guilt you may feel. “People have bucket lists, but ultimately Viktor Frankl said the task of the last part of your life is relieving your existential guilt,” Dr. Breitbart said in a separate interview. “The last resort of relieving existential guilt is this act of being able to forgive yourself for just being a human being that is vulnerable and susceptible to not being able to fulfill their full potential. So it’s forgiveness ultimately. That is the last strategy, the last technique.”
Dr. William Breitbart explains why forgiving yourself is a crucial step in a cancer journey
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