How to Cope With Losing a Spouse to Cancer
- A 75-year-old cancer patient, suffering from Covid-19, was able to remarry his true love, but just two days later, he died from the virus.
- The wedding of Eddie and Patricia (no last names provided) took place last month inside an ICU room at MountainView Hospital in Las Vegas, Nev.
- The grieving and recovery process after losing a loved one to cancer, especially a partner, is definitely not a "one-and-done" process. One widower even tells SurvivorNet that the idea of "moving on" is not realistic, or even desired.
A 75-year-old cancer patient, suffering from Covid-19, was able to remarry his true love (and former ex-wife) in a hospital room in Las Vegas. The ceremony was beautiful, with hospital staff helping to celebrate the occasion. But, just two days later, 75-year-old Eddie died from virus complications.
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Eddie & Patricia's Love Story
Eddie and Patricia's love story begins some 50 years ago in the 1970s.
"We were young and stupid," Patricia tells MountainView Hospital with a laugh. "We divorced in a year but maintained contact over the years."
While they stayed in contact, their romantic relationship was not reignited until about five years ago when Patricia decided to send Eddie a funny message on his birthday: "Happy birthday to my favorite ex-husband," she wrote. The message led to a dinner date, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Devastating news struck the couple in October 2021: Eddie, a veteran who spent 33 years in the military, was diagnosed with cancer again. (It remains unclear if his cancer diagnosis is related to his years of military service.) The news came just three months after he was informed that his cancer was in remission. (It also remains unclear what type and stage cancer Eddie was fighting.)
The bad luck continued in the coming months; a bacterial pneumonia infection and Covid-19 followed Eddie's cancer diagnosis and landed him in the hospital, where he later married Patricia.
On Jan. 24, Eddie texted Patricia, "Can you check and see if there is there (sic) a way for us to get married long distance love you baby," he wrote. His longtime love, of course, said yes!
Due to continued Covid-19 restrictions, the couple was unable to see each other in person, hence why Eddie asked if there was a way for them to get married "long distance." However, the hospital staff at MountainView heard of their plan to wed, made an exception and arranged a special service.
Eddie and Patricia were only able to enjoy a few days as husband and wife (for a second time), as Eddie died two days after their wedding, on Jan. 28.
How to Cope With Losing a Spouse to Cancer
The grieving and recovery process after losing a loved one to cancer, especially a partner, is definitely not a "one-and-done" process, many members of the SurvivorNet community have told us. One widower even told us that the idea of "moving on" is not realistic, or even desired.
"I don't even think I want to move on," Doug Wendt, who lost his wife of 25 years to ovarian cancer, tells SurvivorNet during a previous interview. "But I do want to move forward, and that's an important distinction. I encourage anyone who goes through this journey as a caregiver who then has to face loss to think very carefully about how to move forward."
The point is that moving on and dealing with grief is different for everyone; how Patricia is dealing with the grief of losing Eddie is different than Doug's, and that is OK.
While she grieves her loss, Patricia will need support. Just as having a support system is important when going through a cancer battle yourself, it is also extremely important when coping with a loss.
Being There: When the Person You Love is Facing Cancer
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