‘Feeling Alone and Vulnerable’ — Selma Blair Candidly Shares Her Chronic Pain, and Fears as a Single Mother

Like many in the SurvivorNet community, Selma Blair knows that some days, no matter how positive you try to be, you can feel swallowed up by fear. Now, in an incredibly moving post, the actor — diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and who underwent chemotherapy as part of her treatment — shares feelings of vulnerability and the pain she lives with on a daily basis.

RELATED: Why Is Actress Selma Blair Getting Chemotherapy For Multiple Sclerosis?

Her revealing update discusses the difficult times she’s been through, and the thoughts she must process as she copes with her disease.

 

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This is the thing. I feel sick. This is what happens. There is no bright light of glamour. Of course. It is long nights. Almost all nights. My muscles in my face and neck are in spasm. Or so tight I can’t even find a way to stretch. And I have been trying for three hours. On the ground stretching. I have had the stomach flu. Thanks Arthur! And I am even more sideways now. For now. But I am not killed by it. I am strong enough not to be taken down any more than the average bear. That’s great news. Excellent reassurance. I recover. I stepped wrong last week. In the street. I don’t remember it happening. Or the pain. I was told. And my ankle is sprained and it makes me feel even more fragile. A simple ankle sprain. And I am lucky on a million counts. I know. And I am still feeling alone and vulnerable and scared about the future as a single mom. I’m not dying any more than anyone. I am just hurting. It feels like I am just breaking down. So there’s a truth to give to anyone else feeling this way. It’s just miserable. And scary. To feel unwell. I am so sorry. This is just me to you. In the early hours of the morning. Cause I don’t know what else to do and I want so much to do better. May the silver lining surround us all. And guide us out of the darkest. Thank you all for being the biggest loves. I am in a slow time. I need to recover. I want to recover. And I don’t know what that even really means. ????. I send you all a reassuring warmth. We all need it. #receivership

A post shared by Selma Blair (@selmablair) on Feb 11, 2020 at 4:26am PST

Even a small injury can be incredibly taxing for her, she says: “I stepped wrong last week. In the street. I don’t remember it happening. Or the pain. I was told. And my ankle is sprained and it makes me feel even more fragile. A simple ankle sprain.”

Related: ‘What I Would Give to Be Able to Play Like This Again’ — a Wistful Selma Blair and the Challenges in Embracing a New Normal

While acknowledging that she’s “lucky on a million counts,” Blair expressed some deep-seated fears: “I am still feeling alone and vulnerable and scared about the future as a single mom. I’m not dying any more than anyone. I am just hurting. It feels like I am just breaking down.”

But at the end, as if sharing her feelings helped lift a weight, she writes, “May the silver lining surround us all. And guide us out of the darkest. Thank you all for being the biggest loves.”

Selma Blair’s MS and Chemotherapy Journey

Blair, a star of “Legally Blonde” and “Cruel Intentions,” revealed she had multiple sclerosis in October 2018, after suffering for years with unexplained symptoms like falling, dropping things, and foggy memory.

Blair publicly revealed that she was undergoing chemotherapy treatment last August:

 

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Sunday. Rest. Gratitude. I write this with helping someone else in mind… Since chemotherapy and high doses of prednisone I have lost any ability to focus with my eyes.(I find it difficult to be on phone so I am not on social media or communicating w friends through writing very much). Panic sets in. Will this be permanent? How do I get to one more doctor appointment? How will I work and write when I can’t see and it’s so painful? And then a simmering of knowing. Underneath all the doubt. It will be ok. Take it smaller to each moment. Let the body heal. Nourish. Walk slowly. Burst into laughter. Give my nervous system a chance. I see how wonderful and kind people can be. I see how frightening it can be. Uncertainty. I am choosing to say this too shall pass. And my word… it’s so beautiful today. Still cool in the shade and the whole day before us… we can do it. Breathe . ???? ps. My left leg is feeling the ground!!! #hsct Also… I have found much relief in settling my system with @montelbyselect #relax #hempextractcapsules . Thank you @montel_williams ????

A post shared by Selma Blair (@selmablair) on Aug 11, 2019 at 11:01am PDT

As a result, she said, she was having problems with her vision.

Related: Actress Selma Blair Embraces the Patchy, Grey Hair She’s Growing Back After Chemo

Chemotherapy and Vision

While we don’t know the specifics of Blair’s vision issues, chemotherapy, hormone therapy, immunotherapy and steroid medicines may increase the risk of cataracts. Cataracts are a problem in which the lens of your eye becomes cloudy. Cataracts can cause:

• Blurred, cloudy, or double vision
• Sensitivity to light
• Trouble seeing at night

Some chemotherapy drugs can cause dry eye syndrome. This is a problem in which your eyes do not produce enough tears. Symptoms include feeling as if your eyes are dry or have something in them.

Related: Actress Selma Blair Says Her Son Told The Tooth Fairy To Come After She Lost A Tooth During Her Recovery From Chemotherapy For MS

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