Coping With Grief After Cancer
- “The Dick Van Dyke Show” star is 98 yet exudes tons of energy and resilience. He lost two lovers roughly a year apart. His first wife and mother of his children died after battling pancreatic cancer. Then, a year later, his new lover was diagnosed with lung cancer.
- Losing a loved one to cancer is an incredibly emotional time that comes with grief. The grieving process comes in stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
- These labels help us frame and identify our feelings; these stages can occur in any order.
- New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin says it may be helpful to remind yourself that these feelings are “meaningful yet temporary.”
Hollywood legend Dick Van-Dyke is just a couple of years shy of becoming a centenarian, yet his vibrance commands attention. The resilience of the famous actor years after losing his first wife and partner of more than 30 years to cancer is admirable.
Read MoreDick Van-Dyke, 98, is going to live until he’s 180. This is his world and we’re just living in it pic.twitter.com/KWR1rPKqX2
— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) June 21, 2024
Recently, the “Mary Poppins” star was wearing a black tuxedo and strutting across a red carpet as if he were happily walking into his high school prom. Fans of the long-time actor include X user Emre Yurttas, who said, “I can’t believe he’s still healthy at that age! I wonder how he does it.”
The Award-winning actor starred in “Diagnosis Murder: Town Without Pity” during the 1990s. In recent decades, Van Dyke’s acting roles have become sparser, but he still makes sporadic appearances.
Throughout his life, Van Dyke had four children and married twice. He was married to his first wife, Margie Willett, for 36 years before divorcing. Willett was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and later died from the disease.
Pancreatic cancer begins in the pancreas and is known as the “silent disease.”
Symptoms of the disease rarely show up until it has advanced and metastasized (spread) to other parts of the body.
Although pancreatic cancer survival rates have been improving, it’s still considered to be largely incurable. An exception to this is if the tumor is still small enough and localized enough to be operated on.
WATCH: Pancreatic cancer and early detection.
The National Cancer Institute identifies pancreatic cancer symptoms to include:
- Dark urine
- Pain in the abdomen
- Unexplained weight loss
- Light-colored stools
- Loss of appetite and fatigue
Treatment options for pancreatic cancer may include surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, and targeted therapy.
Speaking of his first wife’s death, Van Dyke said, “I lost a part of myself.”
After splitting from Willett, Van Dyke found new love with Michelle Triola. However, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and eventually passed away.
Helping You Cope with Grief
How to Cope After Losing a Loved One to Cancer
Grief looks different from person to person. For Cannon, he channeled some of his feelings through his music.
The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These labels help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. These stages can also occur in any order.
The time it takes to navigate these stages can also vary, so giving yourself grace and patience is essential while navigating your feelings.
“It often gets better over time, but on certain days, it can look like depression, and on other days, people look perfectly normal and can function,” Dr. Scott Irwin, a board-certified psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, previously told SurvivorNet.
Dr. Irwin added that grieving people are coming to terms with “the change in their life; the future they had imagined is now different.”
In a column for SurvivorNet, New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote that it may be helpful to remind yourself that these feelings are “meaningful yet temporary.”
“If you approach them with compassion, kindness, and eventually acceptance, you will come away from this period in your life more connected to your resilience and strength,” she wrote.
Tips to Improve Your Period of Grief
There are several ways to cope with the heartbreaking news of losing a loved one after an emotionally draining cancer battle. Below are some additional tips to help you.
- Talk to a therapist and share feelings you’re going through
- Have an open conversation with your spouse about the diagnosis
- Research the disease and learn about available treatment options
- Join a support group or connect with others who have gone through, or are going through, the same experience
- Spend time with your spouse and have consistent conversations about how you both are feeling
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