Finding Love After Cancer
- Pam Grier, 76, has found love decades after her stage 4 cervical cancer diagnosis, describing the relationship as giving her a “warm, fuzzy feeling” she never thought she’d experience.
- Grier was diagnosed with advanced cervical cancer in 1988, told she had just 18 months to live, and endured intense treatment, including chemotherapy, calling it a “full-time job.”
- Cervical cancer begins in the cells lining the cervix, the lower part of the womb (uterus). It usually develops slowly, however, before cancer presents itself. Vaginal bleeding or pelvic pain are common symptoms.
- More than 70% of cases of cervical cancer are caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV). More than 90% of HPV-related cancers, including cervical cancer, are preventable in people who get the HPV vaccine that is recommended for all preteens (both girls and boys), 11 to 12 years old.
- The human papillomavirus, or HPV, is a group of more than 200 related viruses, some of which are spread through vaginal, anal, or oral sex, according to the National Cancer Institute. It can cause a handful of cancers, including cervical and throat cancers.
“I never thought I would, you know?” Grier admitted in a recent interview with WBLS radio, reflecting on her surprise at finding lasting romance.
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“They could operate or start treatment for another six weeks, as I’d already had surgery and my body had gone through so much trauma,” Grier recalled.
“I was told to start preparing for treatment and to organize my will. I coped from minute to minute. I went home to ponder this two-inch-thick folder they give you.”
Her treatment, which included chemotherapy, was grueling.
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“In 1988, the C-word meant: ‘Oh my God, you’re going to die. There is no hope,” she said. “You learn who your friends are when you have cancer.”
But Grier defied the odds. She reached remission and has continued to thrive—personally and professionally—ever since.
Her career spans five decades, from the Blaxploitation film era of the 1970s, which championed Black empowerment and representation, to recent roles in “Bless This Mess,” “Them,” and “The L Word.” She also received an honorary doctorate in the past year, further cementing her legacy.
Now, with love in her life and a career still evolving, Grier sees this moment as a blessing.
“I’m lucky to have it,” she said. And for anyone facing cancer, uncertainty, or heartbreak, her story is a powerful reminder: healing is possible, joy can return, and love may arrive when you least expect it.
Like Grier, ovarian cancer survivor Mareva Godfrey admits that after treatment, she particularly struggled with the loss of parts of her body that were tied to her femininity. However, she tells SurvivorNet she is determined to remain a sexual being — even as a cancer survivor and even at 67 years old.
WATCH: ‘I’m Not Forfeiting a Day to Worry’: Ovarian Cancer Survivor Mareva Godfrey on Intimacy After Treatment
Resources on human papillomavirus (HPV)
Navigating a Cervical Cancer Diagnosis
Cervical cancer forms in the cells of the cervix, the lower, narrow end of the uterus (womb), which connects the uterus to the vagina, according to the National Cancer Institute (NCI).
“Cervical cancer usually develops slowly over time. Before cancer appears in the cervix, the cells of the cervix go through changes known as dysplasia, in which abnormal cells begin to appear in the cervical tissue,” the NCI explains.
“Over time, if not destroyed or removed, the abnormal cells may become cancer cells and start to grow and spread more deeply into the cervix and surrounding areas.”
While symptoms tend to be difficult to detect during cervical cancer’s early stages, some signs can still indicate something is amiss and needs a closer look.
The NCI explains that symptoms of early-stage cervical cancer may include:
- vaginal bleeding after sex
- vaginal bleeding after menopause
- vaginal bleeding between periods or periods that are heavier or longer than normal
- vaginal discharge that is watery and has a strong odor or that contains blood
- pelvic pain or pain during sex
Tools to Help Cervical Cancer Prevention
As noted, a pap smear is an option to detect cervical cancer early. During the test, a doctor will collect a sample of cells from your cervix (using a small brush or spatula). The cells are then examined under a microscope for abnormalities, including cancer and changes that could indicate pre-cancer.
The added value of pap smears is that symptoms of cervical cancer might show up until the disease is at stage 3 or 4, and more challenging to treat. This critical procedure helps doctors catch signs of the disease early. Furthermore, pap smears can lead to broader and more effective treatment options.
One of the leading causes of cervical cancer is the human papillomavirus (HPV).
The human papillomavirus (HPV) is “a group of more than 200 related viruses, some of which are spread through vaginal, anal, or oral sex,” the National Cancer Institute says. HPV infection is linked to multiple cancers, and the majority of sexually active people will get the disease at some point in their lives.
A study presented during last year’s American Association for Cancer Research (AACR) 2023 annual meeting found that public awareness of the link between HPV and cervical cancer was on the decline.
“The important thing to know about HPV is that there are many different strains, and only a couple of them tend to be more cancer-inducing,” Dr. Allen Ho, a head and neck surgeon at Cedars-Sinai, told SurvivorNet.
“Probably less than 1% of the population who get infected happen to have the cancer-causing virus that somehow their immune system fails to clear, and over 15 to 20 years [it] develops from a viral infection into a tumor, and cancer,” Dr. Ho added.
Protecting Against HPV
The HPV vaccine is recommended to protect against HPV and, therefore, HPV-related cancers.
Gardasil 9 is an HPV vaccine that offers protection against “nine HPV types: the two low-risk HPV types that cause most genital warts, plus seven high-risk HPV types that cause most HPV-related cancer,” according to the National Cancer Institute.
The vaccine creates an immune response to HPV 16, the primary cause of 92% of head and neck cancers. Once children are vaccinated, they cannot be infected with that strain. For parents, the HPV vaccine enables them to protect their children from developing cancer in the future.
“The key with the vaccine is that you receive it before you have sexual encounters,” says Dr. Geiger. “So that’s why these vaccines are approved for young children … ages 9, 10, 11 years old, up to age 26.”
The HPV vaccine is recommended for all male and female preteens 11 to 12 years old in two doses given between six and 12 months, according to the CDC.
The series of shots can also start as young as nine.
The CDC also notes that teens and young adults through age 26 who didn’t start or finish the HPV vaccine series also need the vaccine.
Additionally, people with weakened immune systems or teens and young adults between 15 and 26 who started the series should get three doses instead of two.
Although adults up to 45 can still receive the vaccine, it’s not recommended for everyone older than 26. Still, a person older than 26 could choose to get vaccinated after talking to their doctor about possible benefits, even though it is less effective in this age range, as more people have already been exposed to HPV by this point.
WATCH: Should children get the HPV Vaccine?
Vaccine hesitancy can impede people from getting the vaccine. The concern may come from parents who may feel the vaccine paves the way for early sexual activity. For this reason, some health practitioners educate the public differently about the vaccine.
“I think rebranding the vaccine as a cancer vaccine, rather than an STD vaccine, is critically important,” says Dr. Ted Teknos, a head and neck cancer surgeon and scientific director of University Hospital’s Seidman Cancer Center.
Dr. Teknos believes concerted efforts to “change the mindset around the vaccine” can make a difference.
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