Love Through Cancer
- Ben Logan might be nearing the end of his life, but he has made a commitment to himself and his loved ones: he still has more good times to look forward to. This week, he married the love of his life.
- Last year, Logan was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma, a type of cancer that forms in the small tubes of the kidney. He will move into a hospice soon, but he wanted to share one more special memory with his partner.
- In their vows, Logan and his wife talked about their unending dedication to each other, and the gratitude they feel for the time they have spent in each other’s lives.
The 41-year-old was diagnosed with renal cell carcinomaa type of cancer that forms in the small tubes of the kidneya year ago. He is scheduled to be moved into a hospice later this week, but he was not ready to make that transition until he made one more beautiful memory with the love of his life.
Read MoreEven in the face of discouraging odds, Logan is not ready to let go of his love. "I'm not done with the good times just yet," he said.
A Physician Associate at St. George's named Georgia Bickerton gave My London the lowdown on the ceremony: "Staff on the ward here were keen to do everything they could to arrange the wedding ceremony for him and his fiancé Hanna. Staff on Gordon Smith ward were incredibly touched by the ceremony and felt very grateful to be with the couple on their special day."
Bickerton spoke glowingly about getting to know Logan. "Ben has shown strength and determination throughout his battle with cancer," she said. "Despite everything he has always had the best sense of humor and is always smiling."
Supporting a Spouse Through Cancer
The support of loved ones is crucial for anyone battling cancer.
“Dealing with cancer in a marriage is complicated and takes a lot of patience and love,” actress Marcia Cross told Survivor Net in a previous interview.
The Desperate Housewives actress should know, having played caregiver when her husband was diagnosed with throat cancer and later patient when she learned that she had anal cancer.
Cross pointed out, however, that it is not feasible to expect your spouse to become a brand new, and totally different, person overnight. Or at all.
“My husband was… he’s a doer, like probably most men,” explained Cross. “He took care of the kids. He was fantastic. I would literally tell him what not to come do. But when I needed him I would say, ‘I need you now.'”
She continued: “Communication. Understanding that we are all built differently [is crucial]. Don’t expect your husband to suddenly be somebody he’s not. Or your wife.”
How to Cope With Losing a Spouse to Cancer
The grieving and recovery process after losing a loved one to cancer, especially a partner, is definitely not a "one-and-done" process, many members of the SurvivorNet community have told us. One widower even told us that the idea of "moving on" is not realistic, or even desired.
"I don't even think I want to move on," Doug Wendt, who lost his wife of 25 years to ovarian cancer, tells SurvivorNet during a previous interview. "But I do want to move forward, and that's an important distinction. I encourage anyone who goes through this journey as a caregiver who then has to face loss to think very carefully about how to move forward." Just as having a support system is important when going through a cancer battle yourself, it is also extremely important when coping with a loss.
Being There: When the Person You Love is Facing Cancer
Contributing: Sydney Schaefer and Chris Spargo
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