The Journey of Grief & Importance of Milestones
- Actor John Travolta lost his wife Kelly Preston to breast cancer ate age 57 in 2020. Despite the tragic loss, the “Saturday Night Fever,” who just turned 71, star is still able to find joy in life, especially as he see’s his children grow and his daughter Ella Bleu’s music career flourish.
- Preston passed away ] after a 2-year breast cancer battle, and since her death, Travolta has been a single dad to their three children—the late Jett Travolta, Ella Bleu Travolta, 24, and Benjamin Travolta, 14.
- Reaching milestones during or after a cancer battle, or loss, is huge. These events like reaching another birthday, getting married, or starting a new job, may mean even more than they did previously, so it’s important to take them all in and celebrate all you’ve overcome. Additionally, having family support is much needed following the loss of a loved one.
- Losing a loved for any reason, including cancer, can cause immeasurable pain. But opening up to others and seeking additional resources like therapy can make a huge difference.
- The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends women at average breast cancer risk begin screening for breast cancer at age 40. Women with the BRCA gene mutation, who have a family history of cancer or have dense breasts, are at higher risk and should talk with their doctor about when to screen may be younger than 40.
Although it’s unclear what Travolta is doing to commemorate turning another year older, one thing is for sure—the 1970s teen idol, who was born on February 18, 1954, in Englewood, New Jersey, has his 24-year-old daughter Ella Bleu and 14-year-old son Benjamin by his side. Travolta often takes to social media to share sweet memories with his children and a source has reportedly revealed the star is “excited” for his daughter’s music career.
“She and John have been singing at the piano since she was a little girl, it’s her passion and she’s got the voice of an angel. What’s more, she’s got the kindest heart.”
Later noting, “John always says how amazed he is by her. He’s very excited about where her career is going, she’s just beginning her journey and he’s loving having a front seat.
“He knows she’s gonna do great things.”
Travolta recently took to Instagram to share a recent cover story his daughter was featured in for Chanel, writing, “So very proud of you Ella!!”
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Meanwhile, in an earlier interview with Woman’s Day, another insider spoke about how Travolta was dealing with his daughter’s journey into the spotlight.
The insider explained, “John’s doing his best to be supportive but he does have sleepless nights over Ella’s big steps into the spotlight.
“He also knows what it’s like to make mistakes in the public eye and go through scandals and heartbreaks with all the world’s worst trolls on attack.”
The source continued, “Even though Ella has the advantage of growing up in show business and seeing the paps chasing down both her folks, John knows nothing can prepare you for real fame – and there’s no going back once you’re in it.”
The insiders’ interviews come just months after Ella Bleu, who’s also taken up acting and modeling like her dad, released a single called “Little Bird” to honor her late mom Kelly Preston.
Ella Bleu’s song starts out with touching lyrics, “Little bird, don’t you cry/Would you stay a while before I fly?/Close your eyes, won’t you smile?/Sing a lullaby, it’ll be alright.”
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She released the song in September, just one day after her parents wedding anniversary. To celebrate the release, Ella Bleu captioned a photo of herself, “‘Little bird’ is a song about a beautiful time in my life. I spent the last two years thinking about what I wanted this song to be, only for it to be written over night.
“This song is about the celebration of life. 09.06.24.”
At the time the song’s release, Travolta also commemorated his daughter’s accomplishment, writing on Instagram, “This is a very special day Ella is releasing her new single called ‘Little bird.’
“This song and video is an homage to her mother, and it also happens to be my wedding anniversary with Kelly. It is one of the songs on her upcoming album that I helped produce – please enjoy!”
John Travolta’s Family’s Loss & Kelly’s Breast Cancer Battle
John Travolta, and his children, Ella Bleu and Benjamin, lost his wife [their mom] Kelly Preston in July 2020. She fought her breast cancer privately for two years before passing from the disease at age 57.
While we don’t know the specifics of Preston’s treatment, we do know that breast cancer is typically treated with chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery.
After she passed, Travolta thanked doctors at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston in a tribute post for his wife on Instagram, on July 13, 2020.
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Alongside a beautiful photo of his wife, Travolta wrote, “It is with a very heavy heart that I inform you that my beautiful wife Kelly has lost her two-year battle with breast cancer. She fought a courageous fight with the love and support of so many.
“My family and I will forever be grateful to her doctors and nurses at MD Anderson Cancer Center, all the medical centers that have helped, as well as her many friends and loved ones who have been by her side.”
He continued, “Kelly’s love and life will always be remembered. I will be taking some time to be there for my children who have lost their mother, so forgive me in advance if you don’t hear from us for a while. But please know that I will feel your outpouring of love in the weeks and months ahead as we heal.
All my love, JT.”
Travolta and his wife kept Preston’s cancer battle relatively private, which is why the world was so stunned when she passed as most people didn’t know she was sick.
Expert Resources On Coping With Loss
- Mental Health and Cancer — The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
- How to Handle the Emotional Toll of Caring for a Loved One: Prioritizing Your Mental Health
- Mental Health: Understanding the Three Wellsprings of Vitality
- Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
- Fear, Anger, Anxiety: You’re Entitled To Your Emotions
- Best Ways to Deal With Stress — Advice from SurvivorNet Community Members
Health is a deeply personal matter, and it’s up to you and you alone to determine who has the right and privilege to know about your diagnosis.
It’s important to do what feels right to you after your diagnosis, and not cave into any pressure to share your diagnosis with others before you’re ready or to share it more widely than you’d like. You have autonomy over your health and the sharing of any news related to it.
Dr. Marianna Strongin, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Strong In Therapy Psychology, told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview that whether someone shares this heavy news is their personal preference.
“I recommend sharing, I’m a therapist,” Strongin says with a laugh, “but to whom and how many people is up to the person (with cancer).”
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There are plenty of people who have chosen not to share their cancer battle publicly. While Strongin says that she encourages sharing, she also recognizes there’s also a personality factor at play when it comes to whether a person shares this deeply personal news; some people are more willing to share, and some are just more private, Strongin adds. The difference, she says, is what’s the process in sharing versus not sharing.
Grief Is a Journey
Losing a loved for any reason, including cancer, can cause immeasurable pain. Allowing yourself the time and space to mourn is essential, and one place to start can be seeking out independent support resources such as therapy.
In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Camila Legaspi shared her own advice on grief after her mother died of breast cancer. For her, therapy made all the difference.
“Therapy Saved My Life”: After Losing A Loved One, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
“Therapy saved my life,” says Legaspi. “I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life, because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on. Going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings.”
“When you lose someone, it’s really, really, really hard,” says Legaspi. “I’m so happy that I talked to my therapist. Keep your chin up, and it’s going to be OK. No matter what happens, it’s going to be OK.”
In another earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Doug Wendt shared his thoughts on the grieving process after losing his wife, Alice, to ovarian cancer.
“We’re never gonna move on, I don’t even think I want to move on, but I do want to move forward,” Wendt said. “That’s an important distinction, and I encourage anybody who goes through this journey as a caregiver and then has to face loss, to think very carefully about how to move forward.”
Surviving the Loss of a Partner
Fighting your own cancer battle is one of the toughest experiences in life; watching the disease take someone you love is a different kind of pain. In some cases, a spouse with cancer can take proactive steps to talk about what might come after.
“She wanted to make sure that I knew that it was OK, she really wanted me to have another relationship after she was gone,” one widower told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
John Duberstein lost his wife, writer Nina Riggs, to metastatic triple negative breast cancer. He says that while he was watching her suffer from the disease, he couldn’t help but wish things could go back to normal … but Riggs had already embraced her new normal.
The Toughest Conversations: Losing a Spouse to Cancer
“I really wanted things to go back to normal, whatever that meant,” Duberstein previously told SurvivorNet. “She was not for that. She wanted to embrace the existence that she had, even before she knew she was going to die imminently.
“I did not want to talk about what was going to happen with me after Nina died. Nina is the one that really brought it up, she brought it up a number of times,” he added.
Duberstein explained that even with the pain of losing his wife, and even though he didn’t want to talk about it at the time, he’s so glad they had those seemingly uncomfortable conversations. “In retrospect, I can’t even explain how glad I am that I had that.”
This is a reminder that having those uncomfortable and painful conversations with your partner can be fundamental to your well-being as you move forward in the grieving process, alleviating the guilt felt in starting to date again, and/or eventually marry.
Tips for Dealing With Cancer in Your Relationship
Cancer can place a huge strain on any relationship. The state of your relationship with your significant other before a cancer diagnosis can influence how you both endure the cancer journey.
Psychologist Susan McDaniel said in an earlier interview with “Today” that cancer can either strengthen healthy relationships or widen the divide for couples already facing conflict.
So when you’re faced with a diagnosis or treatment, it can help to lean on the bond you’ve built with your partner.
For healthy couples confronted with cancer, “They recognize how they feel about each other, the petty stuff drifts away. There’s a certain kind of intimacy in having to face something really serious,” Dr. McDaniel said.
“For couples where there’s already significant difficulties that haven’t been resolved, and if the illness hits at some of that, then it’s really hard,” Dr. McDaniel added.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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