Relationships During a Health Battle
- Country star Alan Jackson was right by his wife Denise’s side when she battled cancer. Just a year later, Alan was diagnosed with a nerve disease. They have always been by each other’s side to lift each other up in challenges.
- When you’re facing a significant health battle, it can make a huge difference to have a supportive partner by your side.
- Actor Terry Crews told SurvivorNet that seeing his wife Rebecca battle breast cancer was an “amazing thing to watch.” Today, Rebecca feels confident the couple “can conquer anything.”
- Similarly, actress and skin cancer survivor Jill Kargman also felt her relationship strengthen when she battled cancer. She says “cancer is a great way to find out if you're with the love of your life or a shithead.”
- However, not every couple grows stronger through challenges. If you’re struggling in your relationship amid cancer, know there are resources to help, such as talking with a therapist.
The country music star, known for his chart-topping hits like “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” with singer Jimmy Buffet, was diagnosed with the nerve disorder Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease (CMT) in 2011.
Read MoreCMT causes “damage to the peripheral nerves the nerves that transmit information and signals from the brain and spinal cord to and from the rest of the body, as well as sensory information such as touch, back to the spinal cord and brain,” according to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke.
The disease can also “directly affect the nerves that control the muscles.”
Thankfully, Alan Jackson has had Denise Jackson, his wife of more than four decades, by his side through it all – just as he was by her side when she battled colorectal cancer in 2010.
SurvivorNet is proud to offer a large collection of expert resources on colon cancer and the latest treatment options.
Alan Jackson Supports His Wife Through Cancer
To help both Denise and himself after the diagnosis, Alan did what he knows best: he penned a song. The beautiful ballad is called “When I Saw You Leaving (For Nisey).”
Navigating a Colorectal Cancer Diagnosis
"My wife went through a tough time with cancer several years ago, and I wrote a song about that, and it was almost just something to help me as much as her," he said in 2021.
"It wasn't a single or anything, but I tried to think that it might help other people that are going through something like that."
Becoming a Caregiver
Heartfelt and highly relatable for anyone who’s watched a loved one battle disease, the song touches upon the complex web of feelings someone might have when a scary diagnosis comes out of nowhere.
Alan sings:
"Ain't it funny how, one minute, your whole life's looking fine
And a short few words later it all just comes untied?
You can't believe you're looking what was always someone else
Now it's staring right there at you, yesterday you couldn't tell
So shocked and disillusioned, helpless and confused
Not knowing how and what to say, not accepting that it’s true
You can't help but see the worst to come a thousand different ways
The same time trying to hold a strong and optimistic gaze."
For treatment, Denise underwent 30 days of radiation and two four-day rounds of chemotherapy.
She was deemed cancer-free about two months later, and she’s remained grateful for the loving relationship she’s had with her high school sweetheart all this time.
“When I’m down, he lifts me up. When he’s down, I try to lift him up,” Denise said in 2021.
“The happy side of that is we’ve had a fairy-tale life.”
Facing Health Challenges as a Couple
When you’re facing a significant health challenge, it can make such a huge difference to have a supportive partner by your side – just like Alan and Denise Jackson.
Just ask breast cancer survivor Rebecca Crews, wife of actor Terry Crews. Having her husband’s “unwavering support” through all of life’s ups and downs has made her confident the couple “can conquer anything.”
In a previous conversation, we spoke with Terry and Rebecca about how her cancer battle affected their relationship. Terry told SurvivorNet that seeing his wife Rebecca battle breast cancer was an “amazing thing to watch.”
"I was proud of her. She became a warrior," Terry said. "I just sat back, and I was literally like, 'What do you need?' She was like, 'I got this. Let's go.'
"My wife and I have been through a lot of things. We've lost homes; we've lost children before things that would have taken a lot of people out and we survived them all."
Similarly, actress and skin cancer survivor Jill Kargman also felt her relationship strengthen when she faced cancer.
Jill Kargman on Relationships and Cancer
"I think cancer is a great way to find out if you're with the love of your life or a shithead," the melanoma survivor said. "I think it presses the fast forward button on getting to the bottom of that answer, because a lot of people in middle age are kind of at a crossroads, waiting for their kids to fly the coop.
"I think if you're with someone who is not supportive and kind of emotionally checked out or doesn't tell you you're still beautiful with that, this might not be your person."
Although we’ve spoken to people about how their relationships grew when a partner was faced with a health challenge, it’s important to note that is not always the case.
Struggling within your relationship when a loved one is battling a health issue is not uncommon. Make sure communication is a priority for both people in the relationship, and remember to take care of yourself even when you’re concerned about your partner.
If you are struggling in your relationship during cancer, know there are resources to help, such as talking with a therapist.
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