Coping Stress-Related Emotions After a Loved One's Diagnosis
- Singer Miranda Lambert’s mom Beverly June Lambert was declared cancer free nearly two years ago and the beloved country singer has since recounted the “stress” of her mom’s diagnosis and the immense amount of support she received throughout the emotional journey.
- A stressful event, such as a cancer diagnosis, can cause a huge array of emotions and these may be fluid and vary a great deal from person to person. When going through something difficult, it’s important to realize and accept that emotions come and go. There will be good days and bad days.
- Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik stressed that it is also important for your support team including both doctors and loves ones to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions.
- Research published in The Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine studied the impact of disease on family members. It was found that “Most chronic diseases have similar effects on family members [as they do on the patient], including psychological and emotional functioning, disruption of leisure activities, effect on interpersonal relationships, and financial resources.”
During a recent interview on the “The Tamron Hall Show,” Lambert recounted the “stress” her family endured when her mom Beverly June Lambert, 64, was diagnosed with breast cancer back in September 2021.
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However, she didn’t only have her family there to combat the diagnosis stress. Lambert then recalled how her mom’s cancer battle gave her a new “perspective” and showed her how people from all over offered support as they dealt with adversity.
Lambert explained, “It really reiterated to me just how much something like that … how many people it touches in bad and good ways. You know, people come out of the woodwork to support you. And you don’t understand the toughness of that … all the stress on our family until you’ve gone through it.
“But we’re very, close and I couldn’t do any of this without her. She’s my number one fan for obvious reasons and I think my mom was here when no one was here.”
She dubbed her mom is her “hype girl” as she’s recalled her coming to nine shows in her first Las Vegas “Velvet Rodeo.”
Back in 2022, Lambert celebrate her mom’s speedy recovery, telling People, “She’s been through a whole lot, but she’s doing really well, and she’s ready to roll.
“I was able to be with her through the hardest parts. She’s unstoppable. She’s just been so strong and positive through the whole thing. It’s a good lesson for people to take away from a journey like that: Even though it’s a really scary place to be, the more positive, the better.”
Looking back on how the diagnosis helped her family become more tight knit, Lambert’s mom Beverly, who’s mother died of cancer, told People, “There were big milestones and pools of tears on some days, yet we stayed hand in hand and did the entire walk together as a family. One thing that was really important to us, and to me especially, was keeping the friend and family base in the loop regarding updates … I later heard from friends that they always felt included and like they were going through this with us.
“So, not only did the battle bring our family closer together but the constant contact, reporting and praying together brought the larger family together, too. The entire journey, I felt like there was an army behind me praying for me and cheering me on. It worked! I’m cancer-free today!”
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Coping With Stress
When a stressful life event arises, people may react with all sorts of different (and quickly changing) emotions, which is completely normal.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
Responding to Stress: How to Cope With Complex & Changing Emotions
Dr. Plutchik explained how people react after a cancer diagnosis, which can be a huge range of emotions from fear to anger to determination. However, the conclusion remains the same no matter what stressor someone may be dealing with: your emotions are valid and seeking mental health help may look different for every person.
“People have a range of emotions when they’re diagnosed with cancer,” Dr. Plutchik explains. “And they can include fear, anger … and these emotions tend to be fluid.
“They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process. Going through a cancer diagnosis is just the beginning of a complicated, complicated process.”
Dr. Plutchik explains that the patient, or person going through the stressful event, should accept that emotions will be fluid. You may feel fine one day and then feel a massive wave of stress the next. It’s also important for those you look to for support whether that’s a therapist, friends and family, or both to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions.
If a stressful event is affecting how you think and feel, it may be time to seek some sort of mental health treatment. This could mean traditional talk therapy, medication, changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), seeking out a support group, or many other approaches.
Patients Do Better When They are Less Stressed
How to Support a Loved One Facing a Health Challenge
If you have a loved one fighting a disease or cancer, SurvivorNet has some ideas to help you better support your loved one. Simple tasks like helping with household chores or running errands can do wonders for your loved one who’s diagnosed. These tasks can make all the difference in relieving stress when the effect of chemotherapy brings fatigue, for example. Other ideas to help your loved one battling cancer include cooking, bringing prepared meals, or doing an activity you enjoy together.
The support helps put your loved one battling a disease or cancer more at ease, which may be filled with anxiety after a diagnosis or amid intense treatment.
“There are a number of common things cancer patients can experience,” Dr. Shelly Tworoger, a researcher at Moffitt Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet.
Cancer Caregivers Need to Care For Themselves
“Anxiety, depression, financial toxicity, social isolation, and PTSD,” Dr. Tworoger said, are all emotions cancer warriors may experience and can be eased by loved ones.
If you are a caregiver of your loved one facing a diagnosis, it is important to maintain your own mental and physical health as well.
“Caregiving is the most important job in the universe because you are there through the highs and lows,” Julie Bulger, manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet.
WATCH: Showing Support When it Matters Most.
Caregivers must also watch out for “caregiver burnout,” where stress, anger, fatigue, and illness emerge from putting another person’s needs ahead of their own.
Caregivers who find themselves struggling to care for a cancer warrior should seek out a therapist or a support group of their own, either online or in person.
Impact a Diagnosis Can Have on the Family
Research published in The Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine studied the impact of disease on family members. It found, “Most chronic diseases have similar effects on family members including psychological and emotional functioning, disruption of leisure activities, effect on interpersonal relationships, and financial resources.”
Feelings of “helplessness, lack of control, guilt, anger, and embarrassment” are some common emotions parents, siblings, and other relatives within the household of someone battling a health condition may experience, according to researchers.
Other ways a disease, for example, may impact the lives of family members include:
- Affecting sleep
- Concerns about medical treatment
- Altered food choices
- Using religion, spiritual, and cultural beliefs to cope
- Feeling obligated to provide a case
- Concerns about understanding the disease or illness
- Needing support from others
- Limited freedom
- Worrying about the death of a loved one
Another study published in Health Expectations, an international journal of public participation in health care and health policy, says parents bear the brunt when a child is battling a health condition.
“Parents have substantial responsibilities, including advocating for their child,” researchers said in the study.
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“[Parents] responsibilities have an enormous impact on the family: going out of the home becomes a challenge, there are constant constraints on time, parents are sleep-deprived, and there are wider impacts on siblings,” researchers added.
When families come together to collectively face a health challenge, it strengthens family bonds and helps everyone involved cope.
Managing Your Mental Health in the Face of a Health Challenge or Major Life Change
It’s only natural for a loved one’s health challenges to have some sort of effect on one’s mental health. Although Miranda Lambert appears to be coping well with all the changes, it’s important to note that the diagnosis of a cancer or disease or some external stressor can offset your mental health in ways you least expect.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously told SurvivorNet that emotions will be fluid when facing a diagnosis. SurvivorNet has some tips to help keep your mental and emotional health in a good space if you find yourself coping with a stressful situation.
The National Institute of Mental Health advises to seek professional help if you are experiencing severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two weeks or more, such as:
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Struggling to leave bed in the morning because of your mood
- Trouble concentrating
- Loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
- Inability to perform normal daily functions and responsibilities
Equally as important is recognizing the value of self-care. The National Institute of Mental Health offers practical guidance on how to boost your weekly self-care routine.
- Regularly exercising
- Eating healthy, regular meals
- Staying hydrated
- Prioritizing sleep
- Exploring relaxation programs or techniques
- Setting goals/priorities
- Staying positive
- Connecting with others
Battling cancer comes with a ton of emotions. These can range from “anxiety, depression, financial toxicity, social isolation, and PTSD,” SurvivorNet expert and researcher at Moffitt Cancer Center Dr. Shelly Tworoger says.
Psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin also shared some simple tips to help you maintain good mental health and reduce stress amid adversity.
When it comes to dealing with anxiety, Dr. Strongin says it’s important to have a healthy relationship with your anxiety and get to know it rather than fear it, avoid it, or push it away.
Dr. Strongin explained, “By learning more about your anxious thoughts and tendencies, one can begin to answer their anxious thoughts even in moments when there aren’t any answers. For cancer patients, the worry thoughts tend to be, ‘Will I survive?’
“It’s important to let those thoughts come in and really be able to tolerate them before answering them. This is a very powerful coping skill.”
Dr. Strongin suggests medications to help with anxiety and depression if other approaches are not as effective. She also urges cancer warriors to explore telemedicine.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you find yourself struggling with a diagnosis or helping a loved one cope with their emotions, consider asking your doctor the following questions:
- How can I go about improving my outlook/mental health?
- Are there any activities I can do to encourage positive feelings?
- When should I seek other interventions if I’m still struggling?
- What are the steps to finding a different therapist if the one I’m using is not working out?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
