Coping with Loss
- Radio host Dan Bongino, 49, is coping with profound loss as he announces his mother’s passing, also sharing a startling experience he had in the middle of the night just before learning the news.
- When the political commentator was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma in 2020, his mother was the first person he called. Now that he is grieving her loss, it is important to know that grief has many phases, and every day will most likely be different.
- The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These labels help us frame and identify what we may be feeling and can occur in any order. Each person grieves differently, and many turn to faith to help get them through challenging times.
As he begins to process this most challenging time, the former secret service agent then posted photos with his mom on social media from much younger years as well wishes and support from fans pour in.
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“Sharing your story the other day was some of the best radio I have ever heard,” one fan expressed in the comments. “My heart goes out to you as you process. May God heal your heart and redeem memories you will never share. With much love. ❤️ .”
“She raised a wonderful son,” another person wrote.
The Queens, New York native, who is a Hodgkin lymphoma survivor, added another throwback photo on Monday, simply stating “Mom” in the caption as the two hold hands in formal attire.
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Over the weekend, the conservative political commentator abruptly stopped his show and said he’s “been having a rough time as you can tell” as he took a pause to compose his thoughts. “I’m going to try to get through this, alright.”
“So um, my mom died last night. Unexpectedly,” Bongino said in a clip shared on TikTok while looking down as he shared his immense personal struggle.
Tragically, he explained that she fell down a flight of stairs. “I just found out this morning.”
“Give me a sec,” Bongino added as the emotion hit him.
@dan_bongino_show Be patient with me here because I’m having a hard time. But I just need you to now: I am NOT crazy. This really happened. #danbongino #danbonginoshow #bongino #bonginoreport #bonginoshow
The former New York Police Department officer said that this was one of the only times he was alone in his home without his wife Paula Bongino, who had taken their eldest daughter down to Miami for a girls’ trip during spring break.
Comfort from the Other Side?
Before he learned that his mom died, which was just before 3:00 a.m., Bongino explained that he woke up to call Paula to tell her about a weird experience that happened to him.
“For those of you who don’t believe in God, I’m not here to judge you. Please don’t take it the wrong way, I’m not your judge and jury.”
“So at 3 a.m. in the morning, someone grabbed me,” he said. “Like hugged me. Like a … like a mom. Folks, I’m telling you I’m not crazy.”
“It was real. I’m telling you it was real,” he continued of his experience, saying it startled him so much that he “actually jumped up.”
It was right after that he found out from his mom’s neighbor that she had passed around the same time.
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“You’re not crazy Dan, God is real and your mom is in his warm embrace! Prayers and condolences to you and your family always,” a follower acknowledged.
“That was your beautiful beloved mother saying that she has to go but she will always be there with you Dan!” another added. “God bless you and your beautiful family.”
“She was saying goodbye. A mother’s love is unstoppable,” a third echoed.
Bongino’s First Call After Cancer Diagnosis Was to His Mom
When Dan Bongino was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma in 2020 after discovering a lump on his neck, his first call was to his mother.
“I’m a 45-year-old guy who’s 6’1, 225 pounds. The first person I called was my mom,” the family man told SurvivorNet in an early interview. “I didn’t know what else to do. I just kind of broke down a bit.”
RELATED: TV Host Dan Bongino Says Cancer Changed Him Forever: ‘Every Minute of Your Life is a Gift’
“The first thing you do is you ask questions. I said to my mother, ‘I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I’ve never done a drug in my entire life ever. Not one time. I work out five days a week.’ I eat clean as a whistle and there’s zero not a little, but zero cancer in my family.”
After the emotional call with his mom, the father of two girls said he went home and cried with his wife “for a while.”
Coping with Loss
Coping with the grief that so often accompanies a cancer diagnosis can be a difficult process. Now Bongino has entered another phase of grieving, which can be similar but different from facing your own mortality.
Grief is defined as the devastation that occurs when we lose someone. Grieving comes in five stages, commonly referred to as the “five stages of grief.”
The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These labels help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. These stages can occur in any order.
As you find yourself experiencing some of these stages, remember that the emotions you are feeling can come and go, or may pass. If you approach them with compassion, kindness, and eventual acceptance, you will come away from this period with a renewed sense of resilience and purpose.
Dr. Scott Irwin, Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, previously told SurvivorNet, “Grief comes in waves. It often gets better over time, but on certain days, it can look like depression. And other days, people look perfectly normal and can function.”
“They’re grieving the change in their life, the future they had imagined is now different,” Dr. Irwin added.
New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin says it may be helpful to remind yourself that these feelings are “meaningful yet temporary.”
“If you approach them with compassion, kindness, and eventually acceptance, you will come away from this period in your life more connected to your resilience and strength,” she wrote for SurvivorNet.
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