Strength Through Cancer & Divorce
- “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star and Teddi Mellencamp, 43, revealed over the weekend that she’s decided to file for divorce from her husband, CEO and Founder of Skyline Security Management Edwin Arroyave.
- Mellencamp has been been hit with 16 melanoma diagnoses, and now a divorce, however, she appears to be maintaining a positive outlook throughout life and hope for the future of her family, as well as her health.
- Melanoma is a type of skin cancer that starts in the same cells that give your skin, hair, and eyes their color. It is most likely found on sun-exposed skin areas like your face, neck, arms, and legs. However, you might also find them in your feet, eyes, and mouth
- Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously told SurvivorNet that emotions will be fluid when battling cancer. SurvivorNet has other great mental health resources for you, as well as films that will inspire you.
- Cancer patients oftentimes find themselves navigating a wide range of emotions that impact their mental health. When it comes to dealing with anxiety and stress, psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin says it’s important to have a healthy relationship with your anxiety and get to know it rather than fear it, avoid it, or push it away.
Mellencamp, who recently had her 16th melanoma removal, took to social media over the weekend to share the news to “protect” her family.
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Mellencamp, the daughter of music legend John Mellencamp, who has been battling melanoma since her initial diagnosis in 2022, filed for divorce on Nov. 1 after 13 years of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences as to why they are getting divorced, as per court documents obtained by People magazine.
Additionally, the court documents reportedly show Mellencamp’s separation date as Oct. 20.
Mellencamp, who shares three children [12-year-old Slate, 10-year-old Cruz, and 4-year-old Dove], with Arroyave, 47, also requested “primary legal and physical custody” of their kids with “reasonable and frequent” visitation for their dad, according to People.
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Prior to Mellencamp’s divorce reveal on social media, she shared a photo of herself looking into a mirror, captioned, “Reflecting,” making it appear she’s coping well through this transition phase, which comes about two months after her most recent melanoma removal surgery.
Expert Resources On Coping With Emotions
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On Sept. 6, Mellencamp shared another mirror-selfie, featuring a large scar on her back and a bandage on her shoulder, writing, “Sixteen is supposed to be sweet. Not sure I’d agree. My most recent surgery for my 16th melanoma removal went well. Unfortunately they found a spot on my ear which is now being biopsied.
“Obviously, I am grateful for my team of doctors who continue to give me the most thorough care. But part of me just wants to scream, ‘When will this be over for good!?’ But you know what gets me through it every time? You. Your messages. Your stories. Your choosing to get skin checks because you saw my journey. So thank you. Thank you for your love and support, but also thank you for being an advocate for yourself and your health.”
She concluded, “I will continue to be an advocate for finding a cure for this disease. … And I can only hope that somebody I can use my voice to say I am cancer free. #melanomaawareness.”
Mellencamp, who continues to spread awareness on the important of skin checks, had her 16th surgery on August 19—something she also opened up about in another Instagram post earlier this summer.
“This is #16, I think, and I keep fighting it so I am feeling more positive than a week ago. The surgery is the easy part compared to the ups and downs of not being able to control what’s going on inside my own body,” she explained.
“August 19th will be here in no time; in the meantime I will be loving on my kids, getting to see my dad in concert with a bunch of friends, going to some incredible horse shows, and podcasting with some amazing women. I am blessed.”
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Teddi Mellencamp’s Skin Cancer Journey
Teddi Mellencamp was first diagnosed with stage 0 melanoma back in March 2022. Then in October of that year, after keeping up with her skin checks, she was diagnosed with stage 2.
Since then she’s had a total of 16 cancer growths removed.
We’re delighted Mellencamp is continuing to share her ongoing skin cancer story as she’s exuded resilience and positivity along the way.
Earlier this year Mellencamp opened up about undergoing surgery to get cancer removed from her back following an unsuccessful immunotherapy treatment.
RELATED: Continued melanoma treatment after surgery.
She previously took to her Instagram story to warn fans, “This is just a reminder to all of you guys. Go get your skin checked. I was talking to someone the other day and they’re like, ‘Oh yeah, I tan easily, blah blah blah. So, I’m not prone to it.’
Mellencamp added, ” Anyhoo, I know that sometimes going to get things checked or booking your appointments can create uneasiness in us but it is so worth it,” according to People.
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Understanding Melanoma
Melanoma starts in the same cells that give your skin, hair, and eyes their color. In melanoma, the cells change in a way that allows them to spread to other organs.
Changes to a mole you’ve had for a while or a new growth on your skin could be signs of melanoma.
You’re most likely to find melanoma on sun-exposed skin areas like your face, neck, arms, and legs. Surprisingly, you might also find them in other places as well, like:
- The palms of your hands or soles of your feet
- On your eyes or mouth
- Under your nails
The top way to protect yourself is by staying out of the sun, especially during peak hours, and avoiding unprotected sun exposure because ultraviolet (UV) radiation can lead to melanoma.
According to experts like Dr. Anna Pavlick, an oncologist at NYU’s Perlmutter Cancer Center, tanning beds pose ultraviolet radiation risks for skin cancer and should be avoided completely.
Dr. Pavlick notes that people who are covered with moles stand a higher risk of developing skin cancer, especially people with dysplastic nevis syndrome, or “atypical” moles like Teddi Mellencamp.
Atypical moles are those that are unusual-looking and, when seen under a microscope, they have irregular features. Although usually benign, a high number of atypical moles do signal an increased risk for melanoma, according to the Skin Cancer Foundation which says people with 10 or more atypical moles have 12 times higher risk of developing melanoma.
Managing Your Mental Health in the Face of a Health Challenge or Major Life Change
It’s only natural for health challenges and divorce have some sort of effect on one’s mental health. Although Mellencamp seems to be coping well with getting a divorce and skin cancer, it’s important to note that the diagnosis of a cancer or disease or some external stressor like a troubled relationship can offset your mental health in ways you least expect.
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Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously told SurvivorNet that emotions will be fluid when facing a diagnosis. SurvivorNet has some tips to help keep your mental and emotional health in a good space if you find yourself coping with a stressful situation.
The National Institute of Mental Health advises to seek professional help if you are experiencing severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two weeks or more, such as:
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Struggling to leave bed in the morning because of your mood
- Trouble concentrating
- Loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
- Inability to perform normal daily functions and responsibilities
Equally as important is recognizing the value of self-care. The National Institute of Mental Health offers practical guidance on how to boost your weekly self-care routine.
- Regularly exercising
- Eating healthy, regular meals
- Staying hydrated
- Prioritizing sleep
- Exploring relaxation programs or techniques
- Setting goals/priorities
- Staying positive
- Connecting with others
Battling cancer comes with a ton of emotions. These can range from “anxiety, depression, financial toxicity, social isolation, and PTSD,” SurvivorNet expert and researcher at Moffitt Cancer Center Dr. Shelly Tworoger says.
Psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin also shared some simple tips to help you maintain good mental health and reduce stress amid adversity.
When it comes to dealing with anxiety, Dr. Strongin says it’s important to have a healthy relationship with your anxiety and get to know it rather than fear it, avoid it, or push it away.
Dr. Strongin explained, “By learning more about your anxious thoughts and tendencies, one can begin to answer their anxious thoughts even in moments when there aren’t any answers. For cancer patients, the worry thoughts tend to be, ‘Will I survive?’
“It’s important to let those thoughts come in and really be able to tolerate them before answering them. This is a very powerful coping skill.”
Dr. Strongin suggests medications to help with anxiety and depression if other approaches are not as effective. She also urges cancer warriors to explore telemedicine.
How to Support a Partner with Cancer
Feelings of “helplessness, lack of control, guilt, anger, embarrassment” are some common emotions parents, siblings, and other relatives within the household of someone battling a health condition may experience, according to researchers.
MacMillan Cancer Support, a charity that advocates for cancer patients, says communication is a vital tool in helping support a partner with cancer, and it could help a couple understand each other better.
“It can help to ask your partner what support they would like and find useful. This makes sure you help where it is most wanted and needed. It can also help you avoid misunderstandings,” the charity said.
Communicating your feelings is something licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin also believes is vital to helping couples dealing with a cancer diagnosis.
Dr. Strongin adds that people faced with cancer should “surround [themselves] with individuals who care and support [them]” throughout treatment while also acknowledging their limits on what they can handle.
“Going through [cancer] treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” Dr. Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet. “Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you find yourself struggling with a diagnosis or helping a loved one cope with their emotions, consider asking your doctor the following questions:
- How can I go about improving my outlook/mental health?
- Are there any activities I can do to encourage positive feelings?
- When should I seek other interventions if I’m still struggling?
- What are the steps to finding a different therapist if the one I’m using is not working out?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
