Sportscaster & Cervical Cancer Survivor Erin Andrews’ Surrogate Had a Miscarriage With Her Second Child— Coping With Overwhelming Emotions Amid Fertility Struggles

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Seemingly trying to hold back tears, she continued, “So, I have dealt with this before, but things were going really, really well and her little heartbeat and her numbers were really, really good. So much so, I even told you guys a couple weeks ago because we thought we had such good news.

“I think one of the things I’m so sad about is I’m going to have to do a better job with dealing with my feelings with this, because the last time we had such a loss I didn’t, and I suffered with it.”

For strength she admitted to thinking about Taylor Swift’s song, “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart,” noting she’s able to power through these tough times and promised herself that she was “just going to be honest with people.”

She said her determination to stay honest comes after she was open with her infertility, along with her and her husband’s journey with two surrogates.

Andrews said they did lose with their first surrogate but luckily things worked out the second time because they were able to welcome their son Mack into the world.

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Andrews added, “I decided I wanted to be honest about this. People, you have no idea what they are dealing with.

“I know my husband’s having a difficult time and I’m going to go home and be with him, and then we are going to throw our little two-year-old in a pool and I feel like squeezes are going to feel a little different from him today.”

Looking back on her difficult experiences with fertility issues and doctors appointments, Andrews told E! News earlier this year, “My fertility clinic was right by McDonald’s, and we were always getting bad news and my appointments were always so early in the morning so I could deal with my work.

“So, it was like, ‘A sausage biscuit with two hash browns, thank you very much.’ And I would eat and cry in my car and call my husband, ‘It didn’t work again, but this sausage biscuit is so good.'”

Advising anyone with anxiety leading up to a doctor appointment, Andrews said, “Go to the doctor, cross that off your checklist. I know it sucks, but think about the great fast food meal you’re going to have, which is probably totally counterproductive with going to the doctor, but that’s the way I got through crappy fertility visits and cancer visits. I went straight to the drive-thru and I’m like, ‘I’ll have a large, thank you.'”

Erin Andrews’ Cervical Cancer Battle & Fertility Struggles

Erin Andrews was 38 when doctors detected cervical cancer during a routine pap screening in 2016. Since her diagnosis, she’s been a vocal advocate for women to stay current on their cancer screenings.

To treat her cancer, Andrews underwent two surgeries. Prior to surgery, she had In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) to preserve her fertility.

Cervical cancer is detected via a pap smear test, which looks for early signs of cervical cancer. Nurse Practitioner Barbara Dehn told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview, “Many women think that a Pap smear checks for ovarian cancer, but it doesn’t. Pap smears detect only cervical cancer, not all gynecologic cancers.

“In fact, there is no test that detects ovarian cancer in its earliest stages, which is why two-thirds to three-quarters of women are diagnosed at a later stage, when the disease has spread to nearby tissues and organs.”

Every year in the U.S., approximately 11,500 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Getting pap smears to detect for cervical cancer is critically important because an earlier diagnosis may mean a better prognosis and broader treatment options.

We’re glad to see Andrews, who began dating Stroll in 2012 and later married him in 2016, focusing on the changes she needs to make in order to have a healthy relationship with her husband, especially after a difficult fertility journey, a time when Stroll was incredibly supportive for her, and vice-versa.

Andrews opened up about her years-long IVF journey on Bulletin, in an essay titled “My seventh time doing IVF, I am not keeping it a secret anymore.”

In her informative essay, she bravely outlined the struggles she has faced with fertility, as she and her husband, who at the time were trying to conceive.

She explained she was trying to enjoy some downtime before NFL season kicks off, but it “has been challenging for me.” Andrews admitted she had been working long hours, and she also had to schedule IVF treatment.

“For those familiar, you know it’s a time-consuming and emotionally draining process. This is my 7th one, and I’ve been going through these treatments since I was 35 years old,” she continued.

The then-43-year-old, said her body was “stacked against” her, adding, “I have been trying to do IVF treatment for a while now, but sometimes it doesn’t go the way you want it. Your body just doesn’t allow it.

RELATED: Motherhood After Cancer Treatment Yes, It’s Possible: Here’s What You Should Know About Fertility Preservation

“Every cycle is different in a woman’s body, so some months are better than others.” Andrews said that the scheduling difficulties made her question what’s most important, leaving her feeling as if she needed to choose between family and a career.

Prior to that, Andrews also opened up to Health in 2017 about how she previously had undergone IVF prior to her diagnosis, saying, “I had actually frozen my eggs before all this a couple of years back, just because it was all the rage. But it definitely took a serious turn for us. I’m not young, we don’t know when we’re gonna have a baby, we don’t know if this is going to come back.

“One thing I love my future husband for is that our oncologist said the smart thing to do would be to have some insurance waitingso we have frozen embryos because we’ve taken the steps. If we need ’em, we need ’em; and if we don’t, we don’t. We just wanna be smart. But it’s crazy, because these waiting rooms are packed!”

As for how she will handle both her career and family, Andrews exuded confidence in her ability to balance it all. And now she’s continuing to maintain a work-life balance as she works as a FOX NFL sideline reporter while raising her son Mack with her husband.

Coping With a Devastating Loss

We can’t help but admire Erin Andrews’ strength through adversity through such a tragic event and her ability to share her experience with others.

Life is full of uncertainties. We’ll never know exactly what will happen from one moment to the next, and embracing that uncertainty is a part of living.

“Every day of our lives is really filled with uncertainty,” Dr. William Breitbart, the chair of the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, said. “What the task becomes is having the courage to live in the face of uncertainty, realizing that you cannot necessarily control the uncertainty in life, the suffering that occurs, challenges both good and bad.

“You may not be able to control those but you have control over how you choose to respond.”

Embracing The Uncertainty of Life

Everyone responds to life’s stressful events differently. And it’s normal for people to experience a range of emotions. One day you might be coping just fine, the next you might feel crippled by distress. Know that all your emotions are valid and your mental health care needs can look very different from another person’s even if they’re going through a similar stressor.

“The way people respond is very variable,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik said. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”

Responding to Stress: How to Cope With Complex & Changing Emotions

If you’ve just been dealt an unfortunate hand in life, try to move forward in a thoughtful way. Be kind to yourself as you navigate the road ahead, and, eventually, you might find yourself feeling more resilient than ever.

“One trick to learning to accept less than optimal news is to keep Dr. Tara Brach’s acronym RAIN in mind,” Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet.

“RAIN stands for: RECOGNIZE and pause to notice; ALLOW, or accept your current experience; INVESTIGATE, by pinpointing what is happening in your mind and body; then NURTURE, by bringing compassion to yourself.”

There are mental health treatments to consider if you’re struggling with your thoughts and feelings after a stressful event. From talk therapy, to changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), to medication, to seeking out a support group, the options are wide-ranging.

Above all, know you’re not alone and there are many different approaches to mental health care for you to try.

Fertility, Surrogacy and Gestational Carriers

Dr. Jaime Knopman previously told SurvivorNet that time was precious when dealing with fertility preservation for women with cancer.  Basically, the sooner the better when it comes to having these important fertility conversations with your doctor.

It’s important to understand that many women may have difficulty giving birth to a child or they may be unable to at all. Having someone else carry their baby may be an option, either through surrogacy, like Erin Andrews used, or a gestational carrier.

According to the National Cancer Institute, a surrogate pregnancy is “a type of pregnancy in which a woman carries and gives birth to a baby for a person who is not able to have children.”

“In a surrogate pregnancy, eggs from the woman who will carry the baby or from an egg donor are fertilized with sperm from a sperm donor to make an embryo,” the institute explains.

“The embryo is implanted in the uterus of the surrogate mother, who carries the baby until birth. Surrogate pregnancy may be an option for men or women who want to have children and have had certain anticancer treatments, such as chemotherapy or radiation therapy, that can cause infertility.”

As for a gestational carrier, the institute describes this person as a “woman who carries and gives birth to a baby for a person who is not able to have children.”

Dr. Terri Woodard Discusses Options For Preserving Fertility After Cancer

“Eggs from an egg donor are fertilized in the laboratory with sperm from a sperm donor to make an embryo,” the institute explains. “The embryo is implanted in the uterus of the gestational surrogate, who carries the baby until birth. The gestational surrogate (or carrier) is not genetically related to the baby and is not the biological mother.”

If you or someone you know is deciding on whether or not to go the route of surrogacy or gestational carrier, it’s important to know that each state has different laws and it may be necessary to speak with an attorney before moving forward.

Managing Your Mental Health in the Face of a Health Challenge or Major Life Change

It’s only natural for health challenges to have some sort of effect on one’s mental health, especially when coping with the loss of an unborn child. It’s important to note that the diagnosis of a cancer or disease or the loss of a loved one can offset your mental health in ways you least expect.

Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously told SurvivorNet that emotions will be fluid when facing a diagnosis. SurvivorNet has some tips to help keep your mental and emotional health in a good space if you find yourself coping with a stressful situation.

The National Institute of Mental Health advises to seek professional help if you are experiencing severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two weeks or more, such as:

• Trouble sleeping
• Changes in appetite
• Struggling to leave bed in the morning because of your mood
• Trouble concentrating
• Loss of interest in things you usually enjoy
• Inability to perform normal daily functions and responsibilities

Equally as important is recognizing the value of self-care. The National Institute of Mental Health offers practical guidance on how to boost your weekly self-care routine.

• Regularly exercising
• Eating healthy, regular meals
• Staying hydrated
• Prioritizing sleep
• Exploring relaxation programs or techniques
• Setting goals/priorities
• Staying positive
• Connecting with others

Battling cancer comes with a ton of emotions. These can range from “anxiety, depression, financial toxicity, social isolation, and PTSD,” SurvivorNet expert and researcher at Moffitt Cancer Center Dr. Shelly Tworoger says.

Psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin also shared some simple tips to help you maintain good mental health and reduce stress amid adversity.

When it comes to dealing with anxiety, Dr. Strongin says it’s important to have a healthy relationship with your anxiety and get to know it rather than fear it, avoid it, or push it away.

Dr. Strongin explained, “By learning more about your anxious thoughts and tendencies, one can begin to answer their anxious thoughts even in moments when there aren’t any answers. For cancer patients, the worry thoughts tend to be, ‘Will I survive?’

“It’s important to let those thoughts come in and really be able to tolerate them before answering them. This is a very powerful coping skill.”

Dr. Strongin suggests medications to help with anxiety and depression if other approaches are not as effective. She also urges cancer warriors to explore telemedicine.

Questions to Ask Your Doctor

• What can I do if my emotions begin to feel overwhelming?
• Are there approaches that don’t involve traditional therapy?
• Should I consider medication such as antidepressants?
• What are the potential side effects should I decide to begin medication?

Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff

Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.