Infidelity After Cancer Diagnosis
- After a 27 year relationship, a woman diagnosed with lung cancer was heartbroken when her partner cheated and left, saying she “couldn’t do anything.”
- For couples going through a cancer battle, open and honest dialogue are crucial to helping your relationship weather the storm, and therapy and support groups can provide additional help.
- Millions of people fighting cancer have relied on their partners for strength and love during their battle, and this support can make all the difference.
In a recent column in SFGate, a woman asks for advice after her partner of 27 years cheated and abandoned her after she was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. She was devastated by his infidelity and by his explanation, saying he left because she was sick and he complained that she “can’t do anything.”
Read MoreBut a cancer diagnosis does not mean your relationship is doomed. If you’re fighting cancer, the love and support of your partner can make a huge difference in your battle. It’s important to be open and honest with each other throughout this challenging time.
How a Loved One Can Help Their Partner
A cancer diagnosis can be devastating to the person receiving it and the people they love, especially a spouse or partner. There may be a wide range of emotions that partners experience after hearing the news: fear, anger, sadness, worry, and more.
Related: #CoupleGoals Practical Guidance For Fixing Relationship Problems During Coronavirus
Above all, it’s crucial to be honest with each other after a diagnosis and during the cancer battle. Don’t let the strong emotions surrounding cancer come between you and the person you love. Talk to them frankly – they will appreciate it.
Therapy can be a valuable asset in helping you and your partner manage your relationship and emotions during a cancer battle. Couples counsellors are trained to smooth over tensions in a relationship and can help you rekindle the love that may have been hidden below fear or anger.
There are support groups both for people battling cancer and their spouses. These can be therapeutic in letting you express your emotions to people going through the same thing. Having that kinship can be crucial to helping you feel less alone.
Spousal Support Matters
To inspire couples currently facing cancer together, SurvivorNet has talked to dozens of survivors about their experiences taking on their diagnosis and going through treatment.
When Natalie Wells was diagnosed with brain cancer, her husband Stephen Skip was a well of support and affection for her just as she had been when he was in a life-threatening accident. Their shared love helped both overcome.
“These little trials and tribulations life throws at you gives you a good perspective on appreciating the things you have and not wanting the tangible, physical, petty things that people worry about and stress over,” Skip told SurvivorNet in a previous interview. “[She’s] my best friend, my right hand. I couldn’t go on through life without [her]. I love her tremendously.”
While on a trip to Iceland with her husband Steve, Tiffany Dyba, then 35, found a lump in her breast that was later found to be cancerous. As Tiffany fought back fear and focused on her fight, Steve was a constant source of support and love, never wavering in his commitment to helping her beat cancer.
“I was like, ‘we’re in this together,‘” Dyba told SurvivorNet in a previous interview. “My husband is the best person on the entire planet because he doesn’t treat me like I’m sick. He just treats me like me, which is so important, because a lot of people treat me like I’m sick. He hasn’t missed a beat. He said there’s no other option but beating it, and I believe him every time.”
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