Coping With a Loved One's Cancer Diagnosis
- Former “Dancing With the Stars” contestant Alix Earle, 25, has opened up about taking the drug Lexapro for anxiety since age 14 in her March 5 vlog “A Little Cooking, A Little Advice.
- Earle, who is supporting her mother’s breast cancer battle, emphasized that medication helped her despite initial reluctance.
- Speaking on how people respond to a stressful life event, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet, “The way people respond is very variable. Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
- When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different, and healthy, ways to cope. Some people may seek out traditional therapy, and there should be no shame in that.
- The medical community has a consensus that women between 45 and 54 have annual mammograms. However, an independent panel of experts called the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) says that women should start getting mammograms every other year at the age of 40, suggesting that this lowered the age for breast cancer screening could save 19% more lives.
- For women aged 55 and older, the American Cancer Society recommends getting a mammogram every other year. However, women in this age group who want added reassurance can still get annual mammograms.
- Women who have a strong family history of breast cancer, have dense breasts, have a genetic mutation known to increase the risk of breast cancer, such as a BRCA gene mutation, or a medical history, including chest radiation therapy before age 30, are considered at higher risk for breast cancer
In her vlog, titled “A Little Cooking, A Little Advice” and uploaded March 5 on YouTube, Earle, who rose to fame via her “Get Ready With Me” videos on TikTok, blends cooking with candid life advice, as she makes a white bean verde chicken chili and answers fan questions about friendships, relationships, and mental health.
Read MoreAccording to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, Lexapro (also known as escitalopram) “is an antidepressant medication that works in the brain. It is approved for the treatment of major depressive disorder (MDD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).”
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Offering insight into why she was initially against taking medicine, she continued, “I was like, there’s no way … I don’t need that, but it really did help me.
“There’s just sometimes … it’s a chemical imbalance in your brain, so it’s hard. Even if you’re doing these other things to make the anxiety better, sometimes there’s just like something off internally.
She then said, “Different medications work for different people. There’s different side effects people have. I have truly had a very good, positive experience. I didn’t really have that many side effects.
“I’ve been on it for so long that I don’t know what it would be without it, but you can always get on medication. You can switch. You can get off of it.”
Earle then reminded her viewers that taking medication for anxiety doesn’t have to be a lifelong commitment—emphasizing that medication can be tried without being locked in forever.
She highlights that the medication was very beneficial for her, even though beginning treatment can feel overwhelming or frightening.
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Earle concluded, “It feels like there’s like a stigma around it at times, but, honestly, a lot of my friends, a lot of people I know are also on medication for anxiety, depression, OCD, whatever it is.
“And I am in favor of it, but I’m also not a doctor, so I’m not gonna really tell you what to do, but that’s just what Alex did.”
We can’t help but respect Earle for openly sharing her experience with anxiety, particularly while supporting her mother through a breast cancer fight—dealing with a parent’s illness can be incredibly emotionally taxing.
Earle revealed earlier this year that her mother, Alisa, is battling breast cancer. She also shared that her mom received the diagnosis while Earle was competing on season 34 of “Dancing with the Stars.”
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Check Out SurvivorNet’s Mental Health Resource Page
Coping With a Loved One’s Cancer Diagnosis: Prioritizing Your Mental Health
When a stressful life event occurs, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously SurvivorNet says, “The way people respond is very variable.
“Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
Additionally, when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer and you suddenly find yourself filling the role of a caregiver, the lifestyle change can be jarring.
Caregivers are often spouses, partners, adult children, parents, or trusted friends of the person living with cancer. Although it’s unclear what exact stage or type of brain cancer Serene Russell’s mom has or whether she’s in need of a caregiver, it’s important to remember that many people welcome the role of caregiver and the opportunity to help out someone they care about deeply, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Filling a caregiver role can be extremely stressful and caregivers often neglect their own needs, which can create a host of additional problems.
So what can caregivers do to make sure they are healthy, both mentally and physically, as well? We spoke to doctors, patient advocates, spiritual leaders, and caregivers who have been through cancer with someone they love dearly to round up some of the best advice.
And if you need help with finances, we provide resources you can consider to cope with the cancer bills. If your loved one has just been diagnosed and you are just starting your journey as a caregiver, here are the first steps you should take.
Being Optimistic & Coping With Mental Health Long Term
People may turn to many different avenues to help them cope with mental health struggles, such as traditional therapy, support groups, meditation, and sometimes medical intervention such as antidepressants.
When faced with a new challenge, it’s important to make sure that these coping mechanisms you have to care for your mental health continue to work throughout the process.
“I think flexibility is really a core of how to manage it,” Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychiatrist and author, previously told SurvivorNet. “Are your coping strategies that you’re using now, are they helpful in the way that they were in the past?”
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Dr. Boardman encourages people who may be struggling with their mental well-being to take stock of their belief system and ask themselves the following questions:
- Could these beliefs be harming me (like feelings of self-doubt or negativity)?
- Is my mindset holding me back from positive steps forward?
Dr. Boardman suggests working to recognize any negative thoughts that may be making the process of cancer treatment more difficult, and trying to dismantle those to be more “realistically optimistic.”
Taking Care of Your Mental Health
Taking care of your mental health isn’t always easy, but it should always be a priority. One place to start is simply being aware of how you’re feeling and reflecting on any changes you’ve noticed in your emotions or behaviors.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, you should see a professional if you are experiencing severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two weeks or more, such as:
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Struggling to leave bed in the morning because of your mood
- Trouble concentrating
- Loss of interest in things you normally enjoy
- Inability to perform normal daily functions and responsibilities
It’s important to try to get help before your symptoms of a mental health issue become overwhelming. Talk with your primary care doctor about any concerns you’re having, so they can refer you to a mental health professional if needed.
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Therapy can also be a way of taking care of your mental health. But know you might need to shop around for the right therapist. Ovarian cancer survivor Ni Guttenfelder says finding the right counselor allowed her to work through the complex emotions of her cancer battle.
“One of the things that my counselor has taught me from the very beginning that has helped me is the concept of acceptance,” she said. “Acceptance is a process. It’s like downloading a computer file in increments. Visualizing it in that way has really helped me.”
Meditation and practicing mindfulness can also be great tools in mental health care. Dr. Deepak Chopra, acclaimed author and pioneer of mindfulness movement, previously spoke with SurvivorNet about mindfulness. He says asking yourself who you are is the first step on the path to practicing mindfulness.
“If we can combine our actions in the world with reflective self inquiry, love and compassion, and a state of secure, stable, ornamental, peaceful being without the addictions that humans have, then we can begin our journey of healing,” Dr. Chopra explained.
In addition, medications can also help people with a mental health illness. They are not necessary for everyone, but medications can make a difference. And there should be no shame attached to taking them.
That being said, it can be tricky to find the right one and your needs may change over time. Dr. Plutchik says genetic testing through Genomind can help. It gives a profile of how a person is likely to respond to different types of psychiatric medications.
MORE: How Can Genetic Testing Help Determine the Right Form of Mental Health Treatment?
“Doing the genetic testing has absolutely transformed the landscape of psycho-pharmacology,” Dr. Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “It’s something that I highly recommend for anybody that is taking medication, whether they are being treated for cancer, or not.
“I recommend it for children who are taking medication. I recommend it for elderly people. Anybody who is taking medication, I think, can greatly benefit from genetic testing.”
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- What type of treatment should I seek if I’m struggling with negative thoughts?
- Are there any local support groups for people in my situation?
- How might struggling with mental health affect my treatment?
- Should I consider medical interventions such as antidepressants?
Helpful Information About Breast Cancer Screening
Since Earle has a higher risk of getting breast cancer since her mother was diagnosed with the disease, it’s important to understand when women should begin screening for this disease.
The medical community has a consensus that women between 45 and 54 have annual mammograms. However, an independent panel of experts called the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) is saying that women should start getting mammograms every other year at the age of 40, suggesting that this lowered the age for breast cancer screening could save 19% more lives. For women aged 55 and older, the American Cancer Society recommends getting a mammogram every other year. However, women in this age group who want added reassurance can still get annual mammograms.
Women with a strong family history of breast cancer, have dense breasts, have a genetic mutation known to increase the risk of breast cancer, such as a BRCA gene mutation, or a medical history, including chest radiation therapy before age 30, are considered at higher risk for breast cancer.
WATCH: Understanding the BRCA gene mutation
Experiencing menstruation at an early age (before 12) or having dense breasts can also put you into a high-risk category. If you are at a higher risk for developing breast cancer, you should begin screening earlier.
Breast density is determined through mammograms. However, women with dense breasts are at a higher risk for developing breast cancer because dense breast tissue can mask potential cancer during screening. 3D mammograms, breast ultrasound, breast MRI, and molecular breast imaging are options for women with dense breasts for a more precise screening. It is important to ask your doctor about your breast density and cancer risk.
Family History & Breast Cancer Risk
Although breast cancer can happen to anyone, certain factors can increase a person’s risk of getting the disease. The known risk factors for breast cancer include:
- Older age
- Having a gene mutation such as the BRCA1 or BRCA2
- Added exposure to estrogen
- Having children after the age of 30
- Exposure to radiation early in life
- Family history of the disease
Different types of genetic testing can help people with a family history of cancer better ascertain their cancer risks. Your doctor will discuss your family history of cancer with you in the context of your type of tumor and your age at diagnosis. Hereditary genetic testing is usually done with a blood or saliva test.
About ten percent of breast cancers are hereditary, says Dr. Ophira Ginsburg, Director of the High-Risk Cancer Program at NYU Langone’s Perlmutter Cancer Center.
“We encourage only those with a family history to get [genetic testing],” Dr. Ginsburg previously told SurvivorNet. “I would say that if you have anyone in your family diagnosed with a rare cancer. Or if you have a strong family history of one or two kinds of cancer, particularly breast and ovarian, but also colon, rectal, uterine, and ovarian cancer, that goes together in another cancer syndrome called the Lynch Syndrome.
The second test involves the genetic sequencing of your tumor if you’ve been diagnosed with cancer by this point. These genetic changes can be inherited, but most arise during a person’s lifetime. This process usually involves examining a biopsy or surgical specimen of your tumor. This testing can lead to decisions on drugs that might work against your cancer.
“Digital mammography, it turns out, significantly improves the quality of the mammogram… It’s 3D or tomosynthesis mammography,” Dr. Connie Lehman, the chief of the Breast Imaging Division at Massachusetts General Hospital, explains.
“This allows us to find more cancers and significantly reduce our false-positive rate. With digital mammography 3D tomosynthesis, we’re taking thin slices through that breast tissue, like slices of a loaf of bread. We can look at each slice independently rather than trying to see through the entire thickness of the entire loaf of bread. So those thin slices help us find things that were hidden in all the multiple layers,” Dr. Lehman adds.
Additional testing can be considered for dense breasts, depending on a woman’s personal history, preferences, and her physician’s guidance.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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