Leaning on Family for Love & Support
- After the loss of his wife, singer-songwriter and Beach Boys co-founder Brian Wilson, has reportedly been diagnosed with dementia. His loved ones have since revealed a conservatorship plan and a court date is set for April.
- The famed musician’s family has revealed the conservatorship will allow Wilson to have the “best possible care while remaining in his home,” allowing him to work on personal projects and spend time with his family and friends.
- Wilson, 81, is said to be suffering from a “major neurocognitive disorder (such as dementia)” and being treated for the disorder.
- Dealing with a new diagnosis is often a stressful and scary time. SurvivorNet experts encourage cancer patients and others going through health struggles to alleviate some of that stress by leaning on their support systems.
- A support system can include loved ones like family and friends, those dealing with similar struggles in a support group, mental health professionals, and more.
According to court documents, obtained by The Blast, Wilson, 81, is said to be suffering from a “major neurocognitive disorder (such as dementia)” and being treated for the disorder. The filing revealed Wilson’s team is looking to obtain legal authority to help him with his care.
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The filing also noted that his late wife was helping with Wilson’s “daily living needs,” and claims, “Mr. Wilson is unable to properly provide for his own personal needs for physical health, food, clothing, or shelter.”
Wilson was previously diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder. He also has a history with depression, alcohol abuse, and an eating disorder, The Blast reports.
Meanwhile, the Wilson family took to the widowed dad of seven’s Instagram page on Thursday to reveal conservatorship plans, explaining, “Following the passing of Brian’s beloved wife Melinda, after careful consideration and consultation among Brian, his seven children, Gloria Ramos and Brian’s doctors (and consistent with family processes put in place by Brian and Melinda), we are confirming that longtime Wilson family representatives LeeAnn Hard and Jean Sievers will serve as Brian’s co-conservators of the person.
Keeping Hope Through a Health Challenge
“This decision was made to ensure that there will be no extreme changes to the household and Brian and the children living at home will be taken care of and remain in the home where they are cared for by Gloria Ramos and the wonderful team at the house who have been in place for many years helping take care of the family.”
On a positive note, the Wilson family concluded, “Brian will be able to enjoy all of his family and friends and continue to work on current projects as well as participate in any activities he chooses.
We’re happy to learn Wilson’s family is looking in his best interest, allowing him to do the things he loves and spend time with loved ones while living with dementia.
Court documents have revealed that Wilson’s conservatorship hearing is set for April 26, 2024.
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Coping With Loss of His Spouse
Working through the grief of losing a spouse, like Wilson has, is an ongoing process.
Following his wife’s passing, Wilson’s official Instagram shared some sweet photos in memory of Melinda, with the caption, “My heart is broken. Melinda, my beloved wife of 28 years, passed away this morning. Our five children and I are just in tears. We are lost.
“Melinda was more than my wife. She was my savior. She gave me the emotional security I needed to have a career. She encouraged me to make the music that was closest to my heart. She was my anchor. She was everything for us. Please say a prayer for her. Love and Mercy, Brian.”
Wilson first met his wife in 1986 and married in 1995. They adopted five children [Dakota Rose, Daria Rose, Delanie Rose, Dylan and Dash] during their time together. Wilson also has two other daughters [Carnie and Wendy] from his first marriage with Marilyn Wilson-Rutherford.
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The post continued, with another tribute to Melinda, from her children. It read, “It is with a heavy heart that we let everyone know that our mom, Melinda Kay Ledbetter Wilson passed away peacefully this morning at home. She was a force of nature and one of the strongest women you could come by.
“She was not only a model, our father’s savior, and a mother, she was a woman empowered by her spirit with a mission to better everyone she touched. We will miss her but cherish everything she has taught us. How to take care of the person next to you with out expecting anything in return, how to find beauty in the darkest of places, and how to live life as your truest self with honesty and pride. We love you mom. Give Grandma Rose and Pa our love.”
When major loss or changes occur, it’s natural to feel a certain sense of grief.
“Grief comes in waves,” says Dr. Scott Irwin, a psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
“They’re grieving the change in their life, the future they had imagined is now different.”
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Some days can be tougher than others, but Dr. Irwin says talk therapy can be helpful for many — so it’s important to reach out to your doctor, to a therapist, or to support groups in your community.
Allowing yourself the time and space to mourn is essential, and one place to start can be seeking out independent support resources such as therapy.
In an earlier interview with SurvivorNet, Camila Legaspi shared her own advice on grief after her mother died of breast cancer. For her, therapy made all the difference.
“Therapy saved my life,” says Legaspi. “I was dealing with some really intense anxiety and depression at that point. It just changed my life, because I was so drained by all the negativity that was going on. Going to a therapist helped me realize that there was still so much out there for me, that I still had my family, that I still had my siblings.”
“When you lose someone, it’s really, really, really hard,” says Legaspi. “I’m so happy that I talked to my therapist. Keep your chin up, and it’s going to be OK. No matter what happens, it’s going to be OK.”
RELATED: “Therapy Saved My Life”: After Losing A Loved One, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
WATCH: Mental Health: Coping with Emotions
The Power of a Solid Support System
One way SurvivorNet experts encourage cancer patients or anyone dealing with adversity to alleviate the stress of a health issue is by leaning on their support system, just like Wilson has done with his family.
A support system can be made up of loved ones like family and friends. It can also be comprised of strangers who have come together because of a shared cancer experience. Mental health professionals can also be critical parts of a support system.
“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friend’s circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet.
“But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional,” Dr. Plutchik added.
Dr. Plutchik also stressed how important it is for people supporting cancer warriors to understand their emotions can vary day-to-day. “People can have a range of emotions, they can include fear, anger, and these emotions tend to be fluid. They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process,” she explained.
Meanwhile, Dr. Charmain Jackman, a licensed psychologist and founder of InnoPsych, echoes SurvivorNet experts on the benefits of positive mental health while facing a health diagnosis.
Dr. Jackman explained, “In the face of a life-threatening diagnosis, fear, hopelessness, and despair can quickly take space in your mind. However, your mindset is a superpower and can be a potent antidote to illness.
“Practicing gratitude, cultivating joy, and connecting to the community are practical ways to develop a resilient mindset.”
More Stories of Resilience
Brian Wilson is an perfect example of resilience. Sometimes hearing stories like his can help people faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges, cancer, dementia, or otherwise, move forward with bravery and strength.
And if inspiration is what you need, SurvivorNet has you covered. Time and time again, we get to share stories of resilience because there’s no shortage of brave cancer warriors holding onto hope in the face of adversity and achieving amazing things.
“Charged – The Eduardo Garcia Story” is an award-winning SurvivorNetTV documentary following chef Eduardo Garcia’s incredible journey overcoming testicular cancer.
SurvivorNetTV Presents: “Charged”: Setbacks Help Chef Discover Meaning and Connection
Garcia was on a hunting and fishing trip through the Montana backcountry in 2011 when he stumbled upon what he thought were the remains of a bear in a tin can that ended up being an old electrical junction box. When he attempted to remove its claw with his knife, he received an extremely severe electrical shock of 2400 volts. He lost an arm and nearly his life.
But his health struggles didn’t stop there. At the hospital, doctors also found that Garcia had testicular cancer. He needed to start chemotherapy immediately before beginning reconstructive surgeries.
Thankfully, Garcia beat the disease and has since returned to cooking up some delectable eats using a prosthetic arm. He’s a true warrior at heart who’s happy to be in remission and grateful for the people who helped to get him there.
“Everyone that has encouraged me, and supported me, and forgiven me, and held me accountable has brought me to today and how I make my life moving forward,” he said.
Caregiving Isn’t Easy; Recognizing You Need Help
When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, dementia, or any number of life-changing conditions, it can turn your world upside down. Your attention will suddenly turn from things like your job and enjoying family and friends to caregiving. And no matter how much you plan for your new role, the enormity of it can take you by surprise.
How to Be a Better Caregiver for Your Loved One
“Caregiving is a huge job. It’s going to impact your health and your physical well-being. It will impact your finances, your social life, your emotions, and your mental energy,” Amy Brown, nurse manager of Gynecologic/Oncology at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland, tells SurvivorNet.
Caregiving can suck up every moment of your free time. It’s important to realize that you may need help.
“I learned this the hard way myself,” Brown says. “I have been the caregiver to my dad for 12 years. And I’m a nurse and I’m designed and equipped to handle that, and I tried to do it myself and failed miserably.”
She stresses the importance of caring for yourself while you care for your loved one. “Get sleep, eat well, exercise. Find something that brings you joy every day, whether it is going for a walk, praying, meditating, watching a movie, listening to an audio book, or getting together with friends.”
Though caregiving can be a difficult and sometimes thankless job, it can be very rewarding as well.
“Even though this is not what you signed up for, this is not how you planned your life, and this may be the biggest crisis of your life that you didn’t see coming, it has the potential to be incredibly meaningful,” Brown says.
Caregiving Isn’t Easy; Recognize That You May Need Help
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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