Caring For Loved Ones
- Oregon Ducks quarterback Dante Moore has revealed his mental health was deeply impacted his mother’s cancer battle, prompting him to advocate for greater access to mental health care and support for young people.
- A caregiver may be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a close friend, or a child. This special person often assumes multiple roles to make the life of their loved one battling cancer easier. Examples of caregiver activities may include attending doctor visits, helping the patient take notes and ask questions, providing transportation to treatment, and helping with everyday activities such as preparing meals.
- Being a caregiver is one of the most significant and challenging experiences a human can go through, and it’s important to not forget about your health as you dedicate a large part of your life to serving another.
- If you are caregiving for someone with cancer or another serious illness, this SurvivorNet guide can help you through.
- The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration says if you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Just call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.
In an effort to inspire others to seek help while calling for improved access to care, the 20-year-old Cleveland, Ohio native said in a recent video shared on social media, “My mom battled with cancer, the grief of losing someone close to me, and balancing school and football. There were times I felt overwhelmed and struggled with my mental health depression.
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He continued, “Unfortunately, too many young people in Oregon do not have the same access. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young adults in our state. The pain and loss of these families is devastating.
“It’s heartbreaking, and we have to do more. We need to increase access to care in our state. Virtual mental health care programs like Charlie Health have expanded access for thousands of Oregonians. That care saves lives. It keeps families together. Oregon.”
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration says if you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Just call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.
RELATED: Check Out SurvivorNet’s Resources on Mental Health
Moore wrote alongside his video announcement, “Oregon, this is personal. The last few years tested me.
“Balancing football, school, and my mother’s cancer battle put me in a dark place. It was overwhelming. I struggled with my mental health and depression.”
He continued, “Getting the support I needed, with a provider I trusted, changed everything. Right now, our state is in a mental health crisis. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young adults in Oregon, and many young people can’t get the help they need.
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“When it’s this serious, every resource should be available. Virtual mental health care saves lives.”
Moore again called for expanded access and continued funding for virtual mental health care to better support young people in Oregon.
According to ESPN, Moore’s mom, Jera Bohlen-Moore, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023, amid his first spring semester at UCLA.
His mom was ultimately declared cancer-free in the summer of 2024.
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In a letter to Oregon Governor Tina Kote, shared by The Oregonian/Oregon Live, Moore admitted he was “struggling deeply” and depressed at the start of his college career.
He wrote, “The pressure and expectations that come with playing quarterback at a high level felt overwhelming at 18. Around that same time, my mother was diagnosed with cancer.
“Watching her endure chemotherapy while I tried to stay focused on school and football challenged me mentally and emotionally. It was heavy in ways that are difficult to put into words.”
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He explained further, “In my life, what made the difference was support. Support from my friends, love from my family, and access to the resources I needed to get better.
“As a young Black man and athlete, reaching out for help can often feel like climbing an uphill battle. It required vulnerability and trust, and I was fortunate to get the care I needed.”
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Moore concluded, “Learning how to care for my own mental health made me a better leader, teammate, and student.
“I know what it feels like to struggle in silence. I also know what it feels like to be supported and to come back stronger. That support saved me.”
The Critical Role of Cancer Caregivers
Many cancer patients are encouraged to build a support group to help them through their cancer journey. Sometimes, close members of that support group may be caregivers. This special person may be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a close friend, or a child. A caregiver often assumes multiple roles to help make their beloved cancer patient’s life easier.
Cancer caregivers may:
- Attend doctor visits with the patient
- Help the patient take notes/ask questions
- Provide transportation to and from treatment
- Accompany the patient during treatment
- Help keep track of side effects
- Link up with a social worker/patient navigator
- Help with day-to-day activities
- Provide emotional support
Caregivers should know that although their cancer warrior relies on them, they also need support from time to time. Social workers and patient advocates may be available and can help guide you through treatment options, financial assistance, and mental health resources.
WATCH: The vital role of patient navigators.
“Patient navigators can function differently at different hospitals,” Dr. Kathie-Ann Joseph, a surgical oncologist at NYU Langone Health’s Perlmutter Cancer Center, told SurvivorNet.
“We have a really wonderful program at [NYU] where we used lay navigators, meaning they’re not nurses, although you can use nurses or social workers that pretty much help newly diagnosed cancer patients through the continuum of care.”
Don’t Forget About Your Own Needs
Acting as a caregiver can be a daunting task depending on the circumstances of the cancer patient’s diagnosis and subsequent treatment. It’s not uncommon for caregivers to overlook their own needs and emotional health. SurvivorNet experts stress that caregivers are more effective if they remember to care for themselves.
“It is important to have some things that you can do that’s kind of outside of the focus of caring for somebody that you love with cancer,” Julie Bulger, manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville, told SurvivorNet.
Bulger suggested caregivers find some activities that help them relax, like taking a walk or going for a massage.
WATCH: How Caregivers Must Take Care of Themselves Too
Finally, remember that mental health professionals are also available to caregivers who can help manage the new responsibilities. Joining a caregiver support group can also help prevent or reduce the risk of caregiver burnout.
Caregiver burnout is the stress, anger, fatigue, and illness that can come from putting another person’s needs ahead of your own. It can sneak up on you if you don’t care for yourself.
Support Matters
Having a strong community around you is always ideal when challenged by health struggles.
Dealing with cancer or any sort of health battle for that matter can be overwhelming, so having physical and emotional support is crucial. That being said, it’s very important to know your limits on what you can handle as you undergo treatment and recover from your cancer, and that includes relationships.
“Going through [cancer] treatment is a very vulnerable and emotionally exhausting experience,” licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote in a column for SurvivorNet.
“Noticing what you have strength for and what is feeling like too much, [is] extremely important to pay attention to as you navigate treatment.”
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Dr. Strongin does note, however, that having people by your side during this “arduous chapter” of your life can be hugely beneficial.
“Studies have found consistently that loneliness is a significant risk factor for physical and mental illnesses and the trajectory of recovery,” she wrote.
“Therefore, it will be important that you surround yourself with individuals who care and support you throughout your treatment.”
In a previous chat with SurvivorNet, psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik added that some cancer warriors may need to look beyond their existing relationships to find the support they need.
“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friends circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” Dr. Plutchik said. “But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional.”
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Dr. Plutchik said it’s best to find a mental health professional with experience aiding people undergoing cancer treatment.
“Make sure that the mental health professional that you work it is reaching out, with your consent, to the rest of your team, to the oncologist, to the surgeon,” she said. “It can also be helpful to reach out to family, friends, and any other caretakers that may be involved in the person’s treatment.”
Taking Care of Your Mental Health
Taking care of your mental health is of the utmost importance, but it’s not always easy. One place to start is to be aware of the following signs that there may be something affecting your mind:
- A change in eating or sleeping habits
- Losing interest in people or usual activities
- Experiencing little or no energy
- Numb and/or hopeless feelings
- Turning to drinking or drugs more than usual
- Non-typical angry, upset or on-edge feelings
- Yelling/fighting with loved ones
- Experiencing mood swings
- Intrusive thoughts
- Trouble getting through daily tasks
Symptoms of a mental health disease or issue can vary from person to person, so it’s always crucial to promptly speak with a healthcare provider if you’re experiencing any changes to your physical or mental health. There are many treatment options available and many different healthy ways to help you cope.
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One such option is therapy. In a previous conversation with SurvivorNet, ovarian cancer survivor Ni Guttenfelder talked about how finding the right counselor helped her process the feelings that came after her diagnosis.
“One of the things that my counselor has taught me from the very beginning that has helped me is the concept of acceptance,” she says. “Acceptance is a process. It’s like downloading a computer file in increments. Visualizing it in that way has really helped me.”
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In addition to therapy, meditation and practicing mindfulness can also be used to cope with a mental health struggle. Dr. Deepak Chopra, acclaimed author and pioneer of mindfulness movement, spoke with SurvivorNet about how asking yourself who you really are is the first step down the path to practicing mindfulness.
“If we can combine our actions in the world with reflective self inquiry, love and compassion, and a state of secure, stable, ornamental, peaceful being without the addictions that humans have, then we can begin our journey of healing,” Dr. Chopra explained.
Medicating isn’t the right choice for everyone when it comes to addressing a mental health issue, but there should be no shame in turning to medication when you need it. That being said, it can be hard to find the right one. These days, however, there is a form of genetic testing that has shown the ability to match people with the best medication for mental health treatment.
We’ve seen genetic testing used for treatment plans for other diseases, such as certain types of cancer, but the ability to use it to help people who are suffering from things like anxiety and depression is relatively new.
How Can Genetic Testing Help Determine the Right Form of Mental Health Treatment?
“Doing the genetic testing has absolutely transformed the landscape of psycho-pharmacology,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “It’s something that I highly recommend for anybody that is taking medication, whether they are being treated for cancer, or not, I recommend it for children who are taking medication. I recommend it for elderly people. Anybody who is taking medication, I think, can greatly benefit from genetic testing.”
Genetic testing can give a profile of how a person is likely to respond to different types of psychiatric medications, Dr. Plutchik explained. Testing is also available to create a profile of how patients will likely respond to different sorts of pain medications, which can be really beneficial for those going through some other sort of health issue.
Genetic testing “gives me information about which medications are likely to work without having problematic side effects. It also gives information about interactions between any of the psych medications that we choose,” and other medications a patient may be taking, Dr. Plutchik said.
The genetic test that Dr. Plutchik was discussing, Genomind, looks at multiple factors before determining which treatment is likely to have successful results and minimal side-effects. The test examines certain genes that are associated with responses to medications commonly prescribed for mental health issues and then looks into the patient’s ability to metabolize medication.
If you’re considering going on medication for mental health treatment, consider asking your doctor if genetic testing might be helpful for you.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
If you are not feeling your usual self and are facing a diagnosis or some other traumatic event, you should consider contacting your doctor to see if your mental health needs a boost.
- Should I consider going on medication to help with mental health struggles?
- Would genetic testing help determine the best treatment for me?
- What is the likelihood that the test will recommend the proper treatment?
- What can we do if I don’t succeed with the recommended treatment?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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