Coping With a Loved One's Cancer Diagnosis
- Drake’s new song “Make Them Cry” offers insight into his dad’s cancer fight, his own therapy journey, and reflections on turning 40.
- Speaking on how people respond to a stressful life event, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik tells SurvivorNet, “The way people respond is very variable. Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
- When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different, and healthy, ways to cope. Some people may seek out traditional therapy, which Drake hasn’t been shy to admit he’s been through, and there should be no shame in that.
- Watching someone you care about struggle with illness is difficult enough, but to be suddenly dealing with the responsibility of caring for them can make the situation that much harder, particularly if you’re nervous you’re not qualified. While you, of course, want to do all you can for your loved one, it’s important to acknowledge your own needs as well.
Drake, who released his 2026 studio album, “ICEMAN” on May 15—impressively alongside two other albums, “Habibti”” and “Maid of Honour”—says in his new track titled “Make Them Cry“—”My dad got cancer right now, we battlin’ stages.”
Read MoreAlthough Drake doesn’t specify in the song the type of cancer that was fought, footage shared by the Instagram account The Culture Villeon and by TMZ shows his 71-year-old dad, pop culture figure Dennis Graham, outside a bar in West Hollywood, confirming he is in remission.
As per to TMZ, Drakes dad said he previously battled lung cancer, but it has since “disappeared.”
When asked if he was currently battling cancer, Graham said, “No, that was a while back. I’m okay now. I’m wonderful.
“My phone’s been blowing up all night. Thank you guys for the concern. I love you all, and from the bottom of my heart I appreciate you.”
Check Out SurvivorNet’s Mental Health Resource Page
Graham also took to Instagram to share a sweet photo of him hugging his son Drake.
“The Ice Man and The Nice Man just doing what we do, don’t get it twisted,” he captioned the post, with a “coming soon” and a “praying hands” emoji.
Fans immediately flooded his post with prayers, with one commenting, “Sending healing to you and so much love for your son. God bless.”
Earlier in the song Drake then touches on how he’ll be turning 40 later this year, on October 24.
“[They] wanna talk about a battle, I’m battlin’ patience/ I battle frustration/I’m ’bout to turn forty, dog, I’m battlin’ agin,” he says in his lyrics.
Drake further offered some insight into his personal life, revealing that he’s attended therapy sessions and his role among loved ones.
He says at the beginning of the song: “I’m an only child, no one could’ve made another/ I have to father my mother and treat my son’s grandfather like my older brother.”
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His lyrics continue: “I know for sure that my parents, they look at me and see an overcomer/ I’m looking back at them and these days, I see an older couple.”
Drake later says, referring this his mental health: “I really make the roughest days in life look very relaxing/ I don’t do psychedelics because I’m too scared of unpacking.
“Sometimes I only see myself in my therapist glasses/ But I’m not taking it serious ’cause she’s very attractive.”
Coping With a Loved One’s Cancer Diagnosis: Prioritizing Your Mental Health
When a stressful life event occurs, like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer, Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik previously SurvivorNet says, “The way people respond is very variable.
“Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
Additionally, when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer and you suddenly find yourself filling the role of a caregiver, the lifestyle change can be jarring.
Caregivers are often spouses, partners, adult children, parents, or trusted friends of the person living with cancer. Although it’s unclear what exact stage or type of brain cancer Serene Russell’s mom has or whether she’s in need of a caregiver, it’s important to remember that many people welcome the role of caregiver and the opportunity to help out someone they care about deeply, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Filling a caregiver role can be extremely stressful and caregivers often neglect their own needs, which can create a host of additional problems.
So what can caregivers do to make sure they are healthy, both mentally and physically, as well? We spoke to doctors, patient advocates, spiritual leaders, and caregivers who have been through cancer with someone they love dearly to round up some of the best advice.
And if you need help with finances, we provide resources you can consider to cope with the cancer bills. If your loved one has just been diagnosed and you are just starting your journey as a caregiver, here are the first steps you should take.
Being Optimistic & Coping With Mental Health Long Term
People may turn to many different avenues to help them cope with mental health struggles, such as traditional therapy, support groups, meditation, and sometimes medical intervention such as antidepressants.
When faced with a new challenge, it’s important to make sure that these coping mechanisms you have to care for your mental health continue to work throughout the process.
“I think flexibility is really a core of how to manage it,” Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychiatrist and author, previously told SurvivorNet. “Are your coping strategies that you’re using now, are they helpful in the way that they were in the past?”
SurvivorNetTV Presents: Breaking the Cycle The Power of Mindset
Dr. Boardman encourages people who may be struggling with their mental well-being to take stock of their belief system and ask themselves the following questions:
- Could these beliefs be harming me (like feelings of self-doubt or negativity)?
- Is my mindset holding me back from positive steps forward?
Dr. Boardman suggests working to recognize any negative thoughts that may be making the process of cancer treatment more difficult, and trying to dismantle those to be more “realistically optimistic.”
Taking Care of Your Mental Health
Taking care of your mental health isn’t always easy, but it should always be a priority. One place to start is simply being aware of how you’re feeling and reflecting on any changes you’ve noticed in your emotions or behaviors.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, you should see a professional if you are experiencing severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two weeks or more, such as:
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Struggling to leave bed in the morning because of your mood
- Trouble concentrating
- Loss of interest in things you normally enjoy
- Inability to perform normal daily functions and responsibilities
It’s important to try to get help before your symptoms of a mental health issue become overwhelming. Talk with your primary care doctor about any concerns you’re having, so they can refer you to a mental health professional if needed.
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Therapy can also be a way of taking care of your mental health. But know you might need to shop around for the right therapist. Ovarian cancer survivor Ni Guttenfelder says finding the right counselor allowed her to work through the complex emotions of her cancer battle.
“One of the things that my counselor has taught me from the very beginning that has helped me is the concept of acceptance,” she said. “Acceptance is a process. It’s like downloading a computer file in increments. Visualizing it in that way has really helped me.”
Meditation and practicing mindfulness can also be great tools in mental health care. Dr. Deepak Chopra, acclaimed author and pioneer of mindfulness movement, previously spoke with SurvivorNet about mindfulness. He says asking yourself who you are is the first step on the path to practicing mindfulness.
“If we can combine our actions in the world with reflective self inquiry, love and compassion, and a state of secure, stable, ornamental, peaceful being without the addictions that humans have, then we can begin our journey of healing,” Dr. Chopra explained.
In addition, medications can also help people with a mental health illness. They are not necessary for everyone, but medications can make a difference. And there should be no shame attached to taking them.
That being said, it can be tricky to find the right one and your needs may change over time. Dr. Plutchik says genetic testing through Genomind can help. It gives a profile of how a person is likely to respond to different types of psychiatric medications.
MORE: How Can Genetic Testing Help Determine the Right Form of Mental Health Treatment?
“Doing the genetic testing has absolutely transformed the landscape of psycho-pharmacology,” Dr. Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “It’s something that I highly recommend for anybody that is taking medication, whether they are being treated for cancer, or not.
“I recommend it for children who are taking medication. I recommend it for elderly people. Anybody who is taking medication, I think, can greatly benefit from genetic testing.”
Understanding Lung Cancer and Why It’s Hard to Catch Early
Lung cancer forms when cancer cells develop in the tissues of the lung. It is the second most common form of cancer and the leading cause of cancer deaths in both men and women in the U.S., SurvivorNet experts say. It’s “completely asymptomatic,” says Dr. Friedberg.
“It causes no issues until it has spread somewhere. So, if it spreads to the bones, it may cause pain. If it spreads to the brain, it may cause something not subtle, like a seizure,” Dr. Friedberg adds.
WATCH: Detecting lung cancer in the absence of symptoms.
Scans such as X-rays can help doctors determine if a shadow appears, which can prompt further testing for lung cancer.
Lung cancer often doesn’t cause symptoms until it has already spread outside the lungs, according to SurvivorNet’s experts.
There are two main types of lung cancer, which doctors group together based on how they act and how they’re treated:
Non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC) is the most common type and makes up about 85% of cases.
Small cell lung cancer (SCLC) is less common, but it tends to grow faster than NSCLC and is treated very differently.
Some people with lung cancer may experience symptoms such as:
- A cough that doesn’t go away, that gets worse, or that brings up bloody phlegm
- Shortness of breath
- Fatigue
- Chest pain
- Hoarse voice
- Appetite loss
- Weight loss
If you are experiencing these kinds of symptoms consistently, contact your doctor for further tests.
All About Treating Lung Cancer
Questions for Your Doctor
If you find yourself diagnosed with lung cancer and are concerned about the long-term impacts, here are some questions you can ask your doctor.
- Has my cancer spread to other parts of the body?
- Based on my cancer stage, what are my treatment options?
- What are the side effects of my recommended treatment?
- Are there ways to help minimize the effects of treatment?
- How long will I be unable to work or carry out my daily activities?
- What financial resources are available to get the treatments I need?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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