Celebrating ‘Crying in H Mart’: A Story of Overcoming Grief
- Wednesday marked the one-year anniversary since the publication of Michelle Zauner’s best-selling memoir, Crying in H Mart, which details the author’s mother’s battle with cancer.
- Zauner, now 33, who’s best known as a writer and frontwoman of pop band Japanese Breakfast, was just 25 years old when her mother, Chongmi, was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and lost her battle with the disease.
- It’s hard to lose anyone you’re close to in life to cancer, especially a parent, and what can be even harder is moving on. But remembering all the wonderful ways your loved one enriched your life and moving on from there can be a powerful way to move forward while also honoring them.
“Happy 1 year bday to ‘Crying in H Mart!’” Zauner, from Eugene, Ore., posted to Twitter on Wednesday afternoon along with alternate book covers. “Here are some of the beautiful iterations of the UK&US covers by @na_son and @MessyMel4. I was torn between the noodles and green onions for the longest time.”
Read MoreHappy 1 year bday to Crying in H Mart! Here are some of the beautiful iterations of the UK&US covers by @na_son and @MessyMel4. I was torn between the noodles and green onions for the longest time. pic.twitter.com/QDR6QcX7UV
— Japanese Breakfast (@Jbrekkie) April 20, 2022
Zauner, now 33, who’s best known as a writer and frontwoman of pop band Japanese Breakfast, was just 25 years old when her mother, Chongmi, was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and lost her battle with the disease in 2014.
“This half-an-inch tumor, like, destroyed my family and tore my life apart,” Zauner said during an interview with CBS News earlier this year. “And I think I just needed all of the space and word count and time to sort through that.”
The author’s candid memoir tells the story of Zauner eventually changing places with her mother, becoming her caregiver as she went through two rounds of chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer, and the grief that consumed her when her mother died. Zauner also takes the 239 pages of her memoir to explore her identity and begin to move on after her mother’s passing.
Soon after its publication, Crying in H Mart was placed on The New York Times bestseller list. Her struck a chord with so many readers; after all, seeing a loved one battle cancer is something that far too many people have had to face.
NOW I’M JUST CRYING!!! pic.twitter.com/RzYmJawRNX
— Japanese Breakfast (@Jbrekkie) April 28, 2021
Moving On After Losing a Parent to Cancer
It’s hard to lose anyone you’re close to in life to cancer, especially a parent. What can be even harder is living your life again after losing that person.
But remembering all the wonderful ways your loved one enriched your life while they were alive and moving on from there can be such a powerful way to move forward and honor them. For Zauner, it was writing her book, Crying in H Mart.
In a previous interview with SurvivorNet, Caleb Farley told us about his mother’s battle with breast cancer and how he opted out of his position as a cornerback for the Virginia Tech Hokies due to Covid-19 concerns. Having lost his mom to breast cancer in 2018, he knew he wanted to be extra careful during the pandemic. (Farley trained for the NFL Draft instead of playing for Virginia Tech, and his efforts paid off; in the first round of the 2021 NFL Draft, the Tennessee Titans selected Farley as the number 22 overall pick.)
Farley announced the news of his opt-out in an Instagram video. He said, in part, “I cannot afford to lose another parent or loved one … Though the competitor in me badly wants to play this season, I cannot ignore what’s going on in my heart, and I must make the decision that brings me the most peace.”
Farley’s mother fought two battles with cancer. He watched as she went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy while still working and taking care of their family. Even though his “superhero” mother will not ever get to see him play in the NFL — just as Zauner’s mother will never see her perform as Japanese Breakfast — Farley will take many lessons he learned from her and apply them to whatever challenges he faces in life.
Understanding Pancreatic Cancer
Dr. Anirban Maitra, of MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas, previously told SurvivorNet that because the pancreas is inside the abdomen, “it often doesn’t have symptoms that would tell you that something is wrong with your pancreas … by the time individuals walk into the clinic with symptoms like jaundice, weight loss, back pain or diabetes, it’s often very late in the stage of the disease.”
And that’s what happened to Zauner’s mother. Written among the pages of Crying in H Mart, Zauner wrote about how her mother was suffering from stomach pain. It was later revealed, after a few doctor appointments, that she had a mass in her abdomen that doctors thought was stomach cancer. But it was later determined Chongmi actually had advanced-stage pancreatic cancer.
The American Cancer Society estimates that about 62,210 people will be diagnosed with this type of cancer in 2022, and about 49,830 people will die from it, which is to Maitra’s point that “most people will die from this disease within a few months to a year or so from the diagnosis,” he said.
“The reason for that is that most individuals, about 80 percent, will actually present with what we called advanced disease (or metastatic), which means that the cancer has either spread beyond the pancreas or into other organs like the liver, and so you cannot take it out with surgeries,” he added.
Dr. Allyson Ocean explains why pancreatic cancer is so hard to treat.
Dr. Allyson Ocean, a medical oncologist at Weill Cornell Medical Center, previously told SurvivorNet that pancreatic cancer is soon to be the second leading cause of cancer death in the United States.
“Mortality is rising because it’s caught so late,” she said, “and we don’t have enough effective medications against the cancer.”
So, the question in front of oncologists today is: “How can we detect this disease earlier in the process so we can have a better impact on the survival of our patients?” Maitra said.
Contributing: Abigail Seaberg
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