Staying Positive Amid Complex Emotions
- Beloved actress Shannen Doherty took to her podcast this week to share her powerful outlook on why she’s chosen to start selling things and prioritize her time differently as she continues her brave battle against metastatic breast cancer.
- Doherty was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. It went into remission in 2017 but returned as stage 4 cancer in 2019. Her breast cancer has since spread to her brain causing her to undergo surgery to remove a tumor in her brain.
- Metastatic breast cancer, also called “stage four” breast cancer, means that the cancer has spread, or metastasized, beyond the breasts to other parts of the body. There is technically no cure, but advancements in treatments can dramatically improve outcomes and that is something to be hopeful for.
- Challenging oneself can actually help people facing cancer, chronic disease, or other problems to develop resilience, which is an essential coping tool. However, it’s important to understand that rest and recover is also a huge part of getting through tough times.
- Dr. Samantha Boardman tells SurvivorNet that the process of pushing oneself to try new things is one of the “three wellsprings of vitality.” The other two are connecting with others and contributing to the lives of people around you. “Those are the cores of vitality, and the core pathways to enhance your everyday resilience,” Dr. Boardman says.
The 52-year-old “Beverly Hills, 90210” star, who revealed last year that her cancer spread and she underwent surgery to remove a tumor in her brain, shared her powerful outlook on why she’s chosen to start selling and prioritize her time differently as she continues her brave cancer battle.
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She admitted she has a “furniture obsession” and storage units “filled with stuff,” but she also has houses that she has to “worry” about.
Noting how difficult it was for her to let go of her Tennessee home that she was dreaming of renovating and making it into a horse sanctuary, she explained, “I was packing up and I started crying … I felt like I was giving up on a dream and what did that mean for me? Did it mean that I was giving up on life? Did it mean that I was throwing in the towel?”
She recounted her mom telling her not to get rid of the house and to “keep going,” but Doherty later realized how much work the home would ultimately need and how it’s unrealistic to keep it.
“So, you know – I think some how the brain works in mysterious ways where even though your incredible sad about something and it feels like your giving up on something that was very special and important to you … you know it’s the right thing to do and that it’s going to give you a sense of peace and a sense of calm,” Doherty said. “And, because you’re helping the people that you leave behind just have a cleaner, easier, transition, which brought me into a whole other area of possessions.”
She continued, “I have accumulated so much crap and it’s sitting in a storage and I’m not enjoying it and others aren’t enjoying it … and do I really need any of it? Do I need to have three dining room tables in storage just because they were antiques I found at some amazing price …and the answer is no.
“None of us really need all this stuff that we have and we can all do with a little bit of downsizing and not be a hoarder with what I was becoming with all of this furniture.”
Doherty has since come to realize she can still help animals without having her own personal sanctuary, although it was tough to accept that. She has also come to better understand she doesn’t need the tangible objects that no longer serve a purpose to her.
As for selling things she doesn’t need, Doherty explained, “It allows me to take more trips because I’m making money, I’m selling it. Then I get to build different memories and I build memories with the people that I love.
“I get to take my mom on vacations because I have all this extra play money lying around and I’m not digging into the money that’s in my estate that’s going to make sure that everybody in my life is taken care of once I’m dead.”
The description of Doherty’s recent podcast episode titled, “Let’s Be Raw…with Shannen Doherty,” reads, “A solo episode where Shannen talks through her decision to let go of many material possessions, determined to spend her time and money on the priceless things in life.
“Embracing those precious moments with her friends and family, and making lasting memories with her mom. This isn’t about giving up, it’s about giving it all.”
We’re delighted to see Doherty making the most of the time she has and doing so with her loved ones, those that matter most.
Shannen Doherty’s Breast Cancer Battle
Shannen Doherty first received a breast cancer diagnosis in 2015 after she discovered a lump in her breast. For treatments the first time around, she underwent hormone therapy, a single mastectomy (the removal of all breast tissue from one breast), chemotherapy and radiation.
Then in 2017, Doherty was deemed to be in remission, however, the cancer returned just two years later in 2019. This time, her diagnosis was metastatic, or stage four, breast cancer.
There is technically no cure for metastatic breast cancer, but that doesn’t mean people can’t live good, long lives with this stage of disease, thanks to hormone therapy, chemotherapy, targeted drugs and immunotherapy, as well as a combination of treatments.
Doherty took to Instagram at the start of last year to recap how her cancer fight is going. She underwent her first round of radiation to her head on Jan. 12, 2023, followed by brain surgery to remove and biopsy a tumor on Jan. 16, 2023. The surgery she underwent is called a craniotomy.
“It’s a procedure to cut out a tumor and it can be metastasized or a tumor that started someplace else like the breasts and went to the brain especially if the tumor is causing symptoms or if it’s large,” Dr. Kimberly Hoang, a board-certified neurosurgeon at Emory University School of Medicine, explained.
Several neurosurgeons tell SurvivorNet that the procedure can allow patients with cancer in their brain to live longer, more vibrant lives, and this appears to be the case with Doherty seen smiling this weekend during her mom’s birthday celebrations.
“A couple of decades ago, to have a brain metastasis was a very bad prognosis for patients. They didn’t live for more than a couple of months, so it was a very terminal thing. Thanks to a lot of advancements in microsurgery we do and radiation, patients are living longer,” Dr. Hoang said.
Living with Cancer
It’s important to make time for things that bring you joy when living with cancer. For Shannen Doherty, that means selling things she doesn’t need and using the money to make memories with her mom, family, friends, and simply living in the moment.
Sometimes Bad Things Happen — Enjoying Life, Even With Cancer
Dr. Dana Chase, a gynecologic oncologist at Arizona Oncology, emphasizes the importance of working on your emotional health during a cancer journey.
“We know from good studies that emotional health is associated with survival, meaning better quality of life is associated with better outcomes,” Dr. Chase told SurvivorNet.
Having the unwavering support of a partner is monumental during cancer
“So working on your emotional health, your physical well-being, your social environment [and] your emotional well-being are important and can impact your survival.”
Finding Joy Every Day
Dr. Chase recommends jotting down ten things that make you happy and making the time to do those activities throughout the day. She told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview, “Sometimes I will talk to a patient about making [a] list of the top ten things that bring them joy. And trying to do those ten things to make at least 50 percent of their experiences positive throughout the day.”
Even if you’re working hard to prioritize your mental health by doing activities you love, it can still be quite overwhelming to think of the things you can’t control during a cancer battle.
Dr. William Breitbart, chair of the department of psychology and behavioral sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, says acceptance is an important part of living with cancer.
Learn to Accept Yourself — A Huge Part of Living With Cancer
“What the task becomes is having the courage to live in the face of uncertainty, realizing that you cannot necessarily control the uncertainty in life, the suffering that occurs, limitations, challenges both good and bad,” Dr. Breitbart said.
“You may not be able to control those but you have control over how you choose to respond to them and the attitudes you take towards them.”
Remember, challenging oneself can actually help people facing cancer, chronic disease, or other problems to develop resilience, which is an essential coping tool. However, it’s also importance to understand that rest and recovery also plays a huge role in overcoming a health battle.
That process of pushing oneself to try new things is one of the “three wellsprings of vitality,” according to Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychologist. The other two are connecting with others and contributing to the lives of people around you.
“Those are the cores of vitality, and the core pathways to enhance your everyday resilience,” Dr. Boardman explains.
Mental Health Understanding the Three Wellsprings of Vitality
These pathways can help someone develop the strength needed to survive or manage a difficult situation, but they all come back to having a positive outlook.
According to Dr. Boardman, these three wellsprings of vitality are:
- Connecting. This involves how you’re connecting with others and having meaningful interactions. It involves being a good listener and being engaged with the people around you who you care about.
- Contribution. How are you adding value to the people around you? Are you helping them in ways that feel meaningful to them? Basically, this entails contributing/engaging with others in a meaningful way.
- Feeling challenged. Being “positively challenged” could involve learning something new (perhaps by taking a new class or reading an interesting book) and expanding your mind in some way.
“Those are the cores of vitality, and the core pathways to enhance your everyday resilience,” Dr. Boardman said.
Coping with Complex & Changing Emotions
When a stressful life event occurs, people may react with a range of different (and quickly changing) emotions. This is completely normal.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik tells SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
Responding to Stress: How to Cope With Complex & Changing Emotions
Dr. Plutchik previously spoke with SurvivorNet about how people react after a cancer diagnosis which can be a huge range of emotions from fear to anger to determination. However, the conclusion remains the same no matter what stressor someone may be dealing with: your emotions are valid and seeking mental health help may look different for every person.
“People have a range of emotions when they’re diagnosed with cancer,” Dr. Plutchik explains. “And they can include fear, anger … and these emotions tend to be fluid. They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process. Going through a cancer diagnosis is just the beginning of a complicated, complicated process.”
Dr. Plutchik explains that the patient, or person going through the stressful event, should accept that emotions will be fluid. You may feel fine one day and then feel a massive wave of stress the next. It’s also important for those you look to for support whether that’s a therapist, friends and family, or both to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions.
If a stressful event is affecting how you think and feel, it may be time to seek some sort of mental health treatment. This could mean traditional talk therapy, medication, changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), seeking out a support group, or many other approaches.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- What can I do if my emotions begin to feel overwhelming?
- Are there approaches that don’t involve traditional therapy?
- Should I consider medication such as antidepressants?
- What are the potential side effects should I decide to begin medication?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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