Coping With Grief After Loss
- Actress Jennie Garth, who rose to fame playing Kelly Taylor in “Beverly Hills, 90210,” is reflecting on the loss of her former costars Luke Perry, who suffered a fatal stroke at the age of 52, and Shannen Doherty, who passed away from metastatic breast cancer at age 53. She admits it’s “very hard” to understand how they are no longer “physically” present.
- The stroke that took Perry’s life wasn’t his first health issue. Perry had a colorectal cancer scare in 2015, when doctors found precancerous growths and removed them.
- Shannen Doherty passed away on July 13 of stage 4 metastatic breast cancer at age 53.
- Grief is a difficult, truly personal process, something Garfield has shown. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.
- While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief. Faith can also be a powerful coping mechanism for some.
- Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.
Perry suffered a fatal stroke at the age of 52 on March 4, 2019, and Doherty passed away from metastatic breast cancer at age 53 on July 13, 2024.
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In an earlier Instagram post, shared in the wake of Doherty’s death, Garth spoke about her feelings following the loss of her former costar.
She wrote, alongside two throwback photos of her and Doherty, on July 14, 2024, “I am still processing my tremendous grief over the loss of my long time friend Shannen, the woman I have often described as one of the strongest people I have ever known. Our connection was real and honest.
“We were so often pitted against each other but none of that reflected the truth of our real relationship which was one built on mutual respect and admiration.”
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Garth concluded, “She was courageous, passionate, determined and very loving and generous. I will miss her and will always honor her deeply in my heart and in my memories.
“My heart breaks for her family and Bowie and all the people who loved her.”
In an earlier interview, following Perry’s 2019 death, Garth said on an episode of the “90210MG” podcast, “I still don’t accept it [his death], in a weird way.”
RELATED: Beloved Actor Luke Perry Had a Cancer Scare Years Before Fatal Stroke
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She also said, reflected on Perry’s character Luke in ‘90210,’ “Luke is such an of-the-Earth human being. That character that you saw a lot of who Luke Perry really was. They were very similar in their makeup. With Luke, you loved him the minute you met him and you were just engaged by his charisma.
“But it was not over the top; it was just this really calm, easy vibe that he would give off to everyone and I think that Dylan did that, too, and that’s why America and the world fell in love with him.”
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Lule Perry’s Passing
Luke Perry, who had his first big break in the 90s when he played Dylan McKay on “90210.” He was later well known for playing Fred Andrews in the CW hit “Riverdale.”
The stroke that sadly took Perry’s life on March 4, 2019, wasn’t his first health issue. Perry had a colorectal cancer scare in 2015, when doctors found precancerous growths and removed them, according to Page Six.
“If I had waited [to be screened], it could have been a whole different scenario,” Perry told Fox News in a 2017 interview.
On the third anniversary of his death, Doherty paid tribute to him by sharing a throwback picture of the two on her Instagram story. It showed them “staring lovingly into each other’s eyes as he embraces her tightly in his arms.”
“Luke was a smart, quiet, humble and complex man with a heart of gold and never-ending well of integrity and love,” Doherty previously shared. “Luke reached out to me during my cancer journey and we picked right back up, albeit older and wiser, but that connection remained intact.
Shannen Doherty’s Passing
The loss of actress Shannen Doherty was certainly profound, for her fans and close friends, the cancer community, and especially for her mother, Rosa Doherty.
Doherty passed away on July 13, 2024 at the age of 53 after a courageous fight with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.
The late Beverly Hills, 90210 star’s doctor and close pal, Dr. Lawrence Piro, offered an update on how “Mama Rose” (as she is lovingly known) was coping in the grieving process, and shared how her daughter’s dedicated fan base has been bringing her a “great sense of peacefulness.”
“She’s grieving, you know, it’s a long process,” Dr. Piro said on an episode of Shannen’s “Let’s Be Clear” podcast, which her family and friends decided to continue in her honor to further her mission. The world renowned oncologist added that Rosa was coping “very well, very naturally and normally.”
Coping After The Loss of a Loved One
It’s important to remember that grief may look different for everyone—and the stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These labels help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. These stages can also occur in any order.
The time it takes to navigate these stages can also vary, so giving yourself grace and patience is essential while navigating your feelings.
“It often gets better over time, but on certain days, it can look like depression, and on other days, people look perfectly normal and can function,” Dr. Scott Irwin, a board-certified psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, previously told SurvivorNet.
WATCH: Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
Dr. Irwin added that grieving people are coming to terms with “the change in their life; the future they had imagined is now different.”
SurvivorNet previously spoke with Megan Newcomer, who lost a close friend to metastatic cancer, the type of disease Doherty battled, in 2018. She shared her unique way of coping with grief. Her friend was an athlete and soccer player, so to help her cope, she embarked on a marathon race in his honor.
Newcomer advises others grieving to first “acknowledge your feelings.”
“Then, think about a way that you could honor the person through a mechanism that is meaningful to you. So that can be artwork, music, or developing a financial fundraising project. It could be something very simple, but I do think having it be intentional is what you’re doing to help honor this person,” Newcomer adds.
In a column for SurvivorNet, New York-based clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin wrote that it may be helpful to remind yourself that these feelings are “meaningful yet temporary.”
“If you approach them with compassion, kindness, and eventually acceptance, you will come away from this period in your life more connected to your resilience and strength,” she wrote.
Finding a Therapist That’s Right For You
How to Cope With Complex & Changing Emotions
When a stressful life event occurs, people may react with a range of different (and quickly changing) emotions. This is completely normal.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik tells SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
In this video, Dr. Plutchik is speaking mostly about how people react after a cancer diagnosis which can be a huge range of emotions from fear to anger to determination.
Handling stressful life events
However, the conclusion remains the same no matter what stressor someone may be dealing with: your emotions are valid and seeking mental health help may look different for every person.
“People have a range of emotions when they’re diagnosed with cancer,” Dr. Plutchik explains. “And they can include fear, anger … and these emotions tend to be fluid. They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process. Going through a cancer diagnosis is just the beginning of a complicated, complicated process.”
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Dr. Plutchik explains that the patient, or person going through the stressful event, should accept that emotions will be fluid. You may feel fine one day and then feel a massive wave of stress the next. It’s also important for those you look to for support whether that’s a therapist, friends and family, or both to understand the fluidity of stress-related emotions.
If a stressful event is affecting how you think and feel, it may be time to seek some sort of mental health treatment. This could mean traditional talk therapy, medication, changing lifestyle habits (like exercise and diet), seeking out a support group, or many other approaches.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- What can I do if my emotions begin to feel overwhelming?
- Are there approaches that don’t involve traditional therapy?
- Should I consider medication such as antidepressants?
- What are the potential side effects should I decide to begin medication?
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process.
