Prioritizing Your Mental Health
- HGTV house flipper Tarek El Moussa, 42, understands all too well what it’s like to struggle with mental health challenges, as he’s overcome alcoholism, addiction, and cancer.
- When El Moussa felt as if he hit a low in his life, the realization that he needed to change for the better sparked his journey to success.
- Prioritizing your mental health is so important, especially if you’re going through a health challenge like cancer or a arduous setback in life.
- Seeking professional help if you are struggling, trying therapy, seeking medication, making lifestyle changes and practicing mindfulness/meditation are ways to cope.
Starting over after challenges, illness, or major setback is certainly an arduous task for anyone in the midst of it. However, pushing forward and creating a new path is often an empowering step toward a better future, like the one El Moussa is now living in.
Read MoreTo show his fans how much of a drastic change he’s had since his latter teens, El Moussa shared a throwback photo of himself standing alongside his mom with a beer in one hand, wearing a tropical-themed shirt and cargo shorts, and smiling after graduating high school. However, he explains in his Instagram post‘s caption that he wasn’t actually that happy at that time in his life.View this post on Instagram
El Moussa wrote, “This is not photoshop….this is me. On the day I graduated high school, I was a fit athlete excited about life. Around that time, I stopped taking my ADHD medication called Dexedrine because I turned 18 and was told I had to start seeing doctors if I wanted to keep taking it. I stopped taking my medication and….my life completely fell apart.
“Looking back, I now understand why. But back then, I had no idea why and I was on a downward spiral. I gained almost 60 pounds in less than a year. I was struggling with alcohol abuse and depression and lived in that misery for almost 2 years.”
He continued, “My life changed, and I was so embarrassed I stopped doing the things I loved and I refused to take my shirt off. But…something magical happened that got me back on the right track. It was one thing that a stranger named Justin did that changed my life. A stranger who moved into my old bedroom while I lived in the garage because I couldn’t afford to rent my own place.
“That one thing led to another thing and another and created the man I am today. New years are about new beginnings and change. People are just like houses, we all need a remodel, we all need a little ‘work’.”
El Moussa concluded, “If you are ready for change and are ready to ‘Flip your Life’ for the better, I share all my stories and lessons in my new book called ‘Flip Your Life’ which is being released February 6th 2024.
“If you’re impatient like me… you can pre order now by clicking the link in my bio! This book comes from the heart and I promise it will be life changing! #flipyourlife.”
View this post on Instagram
Last Year, El Moussa began promoting his new book “Flip Your Life,” which is now available for preorder.
Next to a photo of his new book cover, El Moussa wrote, “I’ve spent the past 7 years writing this book and it’s a very personal one for me. I share my entire journey and all of the struggles that have accompanied it such as cancers, divorce, addiction, business struggles, and more.
“I put my heart and soul into this book and got really vulnerable with it, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.”
Expert Mental Health Resources
It’s wonderful to see El Moussa’s continued gratitude amid his success, and most importantly, with the supporting of his loving family by his side.
During the holidays, El Moussa posted a sweet photo of his wife Heather Rae El Moussa and his three children.
He captioned the post, “Merry Christmas from the El Moussa family. There’s nothing better than waking up on Christmas morning, looking around and feeling like you already have everything you could want.
“Family is truly everything – We hope you all get to slow down a little today to be with your loved ones! It’s Tristan’s first Christmas so we’ll definitely be soaking every moment in with our crazy little monsters.”
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How To Start Over After a Life-Changing Event
Starting over is an uphill battle, but it can be done. Here’s how:
- Examine your thoughts. Take time to reflect on the tragedy or difficulty you are facing. Dr. Scott Irwin tells SurvivorNet that, often, people with cancer and chronic disease are “grieving the change in their life, the future they had imagined is now different.”
- Seek help. Irwin, who directs Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, adds that talk therapy can help people significantly: “It’s about meeting the individual patient where they are and their feelings, how they’ve always dealt with their body image, what the body image changes mean now in their lives and their relationships, and how they can move forward given the new reality.
- Realize that you are not the first. Study the lives of other people who have faced similar difficulties. Dr. Samantha Boardman tells SurvivorNet, “Having support we know is really critical in the healing process.” She adds there is also a benefit in “talking to those who’ve, you know, been through this process, who are maybe a couple of steps ahead of you, who can tell you what it’s like to walk in their shoes and the unbelievable wisdom that one can gain from speaking to them.”
- Visualize the future. Imagine what it will look like for you to start over. Many people find it very helpful to create a vision board. Cut out pictures or quotes or mementos that give you a concrete picture of your future. Look to it when you are feeling down or in need of a lift. The good news? It works.
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Tarek El Moussa’s Experience With Cancer
Life took a turn for El Moussa in 2013 when he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. His thyroid cancer diagnosis came after an HGTV fan, who also happened to be a nurse, noticed a lump on his throat while watching him on television. She contacted the network, telling them what she had seen.
According to the National Cancer Institute, thyroid cancer occurs when cancer cells form in the tissues of the thyroid gland. The thyroid is located at the base of the neck and produces hormones that regulate your heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature, and weight. A lump or swelling in the neck is a common symptom of this type of cancer.
Then, in 2017, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer.
Symptoms for testicular cancer may include “swelling or discomfort in the scrotum,” according to the National Cancer Institute. El Moussa worried that the cancer would impact his fertility since he had one of his testicles removed during treatment. Testicular cancer survivors may encounter fertility issues after overcoming the disease, but this is not always the case.
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“Testicular cancer commonly occurs from ages 20-45, but it can occur at any age,” Dana-Farber medical oncologist Dr. Bradley McGregor previously told SurvivorNet.
During a 2017 interview with PEOPLE magazine, Tarek said of the experience: “I was at one building doing my thyroid stuff, and mentioned I was going across the street to get an ultrasound done. I’ll never forget the doctor joking, ‘I hope you don’t have cancer!'”
The treatment path for both types of cancers depends upon the stage at which the cancer is diagnosed. Common treatments for testicular cancer include chemotherapy, surgery and radiation. Treatments for thyroid cancer can include surgery, hormone therapy, radioactive iodine, radiation and, in some cases, chemotherapy.
Luckily, El Moussa was given the “all clear” and often shares his story to raise awareness on both diseases, while radiating positivity to those in need.
View this post on Instagram
In a celebratory Instagram post on March 14, 2019, El Moussa wrote, “Today I got the best news ever…I’m cancer free and I’m healthier than ever!!!!
“This makes me so happy not for me but for my babies. I have to be healthy and alive for them!! (I’m tearing up writing this) Ugh…they are my everything and they need their daddy! This news is so good because I’m alive to be here for THEM!!”
He continued, “From the bottom of my heart I love all of you. I read all your comments and feel like I know so many of you. You have followed me so long I’d probably recognize you on the street. I’m saying this because I appreciate you and all of your support…thank you again from the bottom of my heart.”
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Overcoming Alcohol Abuse
It’s great to see Tarek El Moussa was able to overcome adversity, especially alcoholism. TV news journalist Elizabeth Vargas also understands the struggle of alcoholism and previously spoke with SurvivorNet on how she was able to overcome addiction and learn from her past.
“Relapse is part of recovery. If getting sober or getting clean from a substance was that easy, we wouldn’t have the issue of addiction in this country. People relapse because it’s hard. It’s really hard. And I think all too often, families, companies, corporations, friends, and colleagues are too fast to say, you relapsed, you’re out, you’re done. We don’t tell somebody who has cancer when the cancer comes back, oh, sorry, no more chemo. But many companies, many families say, no more treatment,” Vargas explained.
“You relapsed. You’re hopeless. You don’t want to get better. You won’t try hard enough. And that’s the kind of thinking I think we need to change. And that’s why there’s so much stigma around the disease of substance use disorder.”
Vargas, who is now sober, says she loves her two sons very much and would “die for them” but said that alcoholism is so “powerful” and hard to combat that she “couldn’t stop drinking for them” before seeking help
The beloved journalist stressed the importance of communication regarding health issues and mental health. She thinks people should talk about drug and alcohol addiction like other conditions, for example, diabetes, saying, “We have an opioid crisis right now killing record numbers of people in this country. We have to look at drug addiction differently in order to help people get clean.”
Mental Health: Critical Knowledge
The term mental health refers to both our emotional and psychological well-being. Our mental health can affect how we think, feel, and behave. Certain triggers like stress, traumatic events, or changes in your physical health can affect mental health. It’s really important to keep tabs on your mental health and, if necessary, seek treatment. This doesn’t necessarily mean traditional therapy because while it may be really helpful (even life-changing) for some, that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.
Problems with mood and overall mental well-being can be attributed to several factors. For some people, it’s genetic, while others may be experiencing a response to some sort of stressor or past trauma.
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In order to keep your mental health in check, it’s important to be aware of signs that can be subtle that there is something affecting your mind. These signs include:
- A change in eating or sleeping habits
- Losing interest in people or usual activities
- Experiencing little or no energy
- Numb and/or hopeless feelings
- Turning to drinking or drugs more than usual
- Non-typical angry, upset, or on-edge feelings
- Yelling/fighting with loved ones
- Experiencing mood swings
- Intrusive thoughts
- Trouble getting through daily tasks
These symptoms can be wide-ranging and vary greatly from person to person. Everyone experiences grief differently, for example. However, if you are feeling unusually sad, on edge, or like you’re no longer interested in activities you used to love, know that there are many treatment options available and many different healthy ways to help you cope.
Coping With Depression
Dr. Scott Irwin, a psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, says it’s crucial for patients to talk to their care team about their mental health.
“We all get depressed from time to time, have a sad day, feeling down and blue – that’s part of normal human emotion, part of normal life,” Dr. Irwin explained.
“Some of us, when we’re dealing with difficult things such as a diagnosis of cancer, may be sad or down or blue more often. And sometimes it gets to the point where that depression can be a little bit overwhelming, and we help them through therapy, through non-medication interventions.”
There are many ways to address mental health issues as a cancer survivor. Options may include:
- Meditation
- Practicing mindfulness
- Talking with a therapist
- Joining a support group
- Medication, such as antidepressants
Medication
When doctors and patients together decide that medication is necessary, it’s important that doctors choose wisely.
“I often try to choose medications with the lowest side effect profile,” Dr. Irwin said. “If patients are getting hormonal therapy, there are particular antidepressants that we can’t use because they may lower the effectiveness of that hormonal therapy, and so we choose antidepressants that don’t impact the cancer care.”
This shows how important it is to communicate with everyone you’re seeing so they can be on the same page about your treatment and options.
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Another way doctors can tailor mental health medications for their patients is through genetic testing.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik says genetic testing through companies like Genomind can help doctors understand how likely it is a patient may respond to different types of psychiatric medications.
“Doing the genetic testing has absolutely transformed the landscape of psycho-pharmacology,” Dr. Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “It’s something that I highly recommend for anybody who is taking medication, whether they are being treated for cancer or not.”
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Dr. Plutchik also explained that genetic testing can be specifically helpful for cancer patients because it may help avoid trial and error when it comes to choosing a mental health medication that does not interfere with their cancer treatment.
“So, a person who is dealing with this and may have to go on chemotherapy has already enough on their plate that they don’t really want to start dealing with trial and error with medications,” she said. “So, it gives me information about which medications are likely to work without having problematic side effects, and it also gives information about interactions between any of the psych medications that we choose and the chemotherapy agents that they may be taking.”
Support Groups
Whether you’re coping with an illness, an emotional problem, or a life transition, a support group can be a place where people in the same boat or in a similar situation can come together.
But maybe you’re a little unsure or skeptical about joining a group. What will it be like? Are you expected to share your story?
Dr. Amy McNally, gynecologic oncologist with Minnesota Oncology, tries to reassure her patients that chances are they’ll derive some benefit.
“I think in a support group, you’re going to find women who are in similar situations but yet can share their unique stories,” she says. “Just being there is worth it. You don’t have to share a thing. You can just sit and listen, or you can be part of the conversation and offer your thoughts. And it can be different every time you go; it’s your choice as to how or whether to participate and what you decide to get out of the group.”
McNally thinks it can be helpful and comforting to be around people who know what you’ve been through or are going through, and that in and of itself is reason enough to try it out.
Therapy
“People that are struggling with coping with the experience, coping with body image should reach out to their doctors, find a therapist in the community,” says Dr. Irwin.
A patient navigator or social worker can also help connect you with a mental health professional that you can talk to to help process your emotions.
“It’s about meeting the individual patient where they are and their feelings, how they’ve always dealt with their body image, what the body image changes mean now in their lives and their relationships, and how they can move forward given the new reality,” Dr. Irwin said.
Mindfulness
Jon Kabat Zinn, founder of the eight-week stress-reduction program Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), a course that has entered the mainstream of health care, scientific study, and public policy, describes mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”
Mindfulness is often suggested for cancer patients to reduce high levels of anxiety and distress associated with diagnosis, treatment, and anticipation of possible disease recurrence.
Both the American Society of Clinical Oncology and the Society of Integrative Oncology recommend meditation as part of a multidisciplinary approach to reduce stress, depression, and mood disturbance and to improve the quality of life in cancer patients. But the question remains: does it really work? We think it does.
Five tips for practicing mindfulness:
- Choose one daily activity to practice mindfully (e.g., eating your lunch, brushing your teeth, or taking a shower). During this activity, notice your breath and the activity of your mind for a few moments.
- Take a pause throughout your day. During your day, find a moment to stop and take five deep breaths with your eyes closed.
- Kindly acknowledge a moment you’re experiencing a difficulty by putting your hand on your heart and saying, “Feel my pain. How can I be kind to myself in this moment?”
- Get curious about your emotions. Experiment with welcoming your emotions as they come instead of pushing them away.
- Become aware when you’re in a rush. Ask yourself, “Do I really need to hurry?”
Meditation
Regularly meditating allows people to start to become more aware of the emotions in the physical body and the thoughts running through the mind, to acknowledge their thoughts as they arise, and then gently let them go.
Shannon Masur, a colon cancer and Lynch Syndrome survivor, describes this as “when a thought comes in, to feel it, feel the fear, but let it go after a few seconds.”
All of this is said to result in an overall reduction in stress and anxiety in the body. It may also help patients control problems such as pain, difficulty sleeping, tiredness, feeling sick, and high blood pressure.
For help getting started with meditation, here’s a guided session to try.
WATCH: A Guided Meditation for the SurvivorNet Community
Overall, don’t forget to prioritize your mental health if you’re facing cancer. You might feel like your mind is the least of your worries while fighting the disease, but it’s important to know just how big of an impact your mental well-being can have on your health as a whole.
“Actually, there’s data that if you have extra stress or depression, you may not recover, or you have a higher risk or recurrence,” Dr. Irwin said. “So… in treating the depression, we’re actually impacting the cancer care outcomes.”
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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