The Importance of Support
- Singer John Legend, who supported Chrissy Teigen through postpartum depression and an IVF journey, is receiving all the support for his four adorable children and his beloved wife as he recently sang in Vatican City.
- The loving couple have four children, baby Wren Alexander Stephens via surrogate in June 2023. They also have a daughter named Esti, who was born in January 2023, a seven-year-old daughter Luna, and five-year-old son Miles.
- After the birth of Teigen’s first child, she experienced postpartum depression—a condition the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health describes as “a serious mental health condition that involves the brain and affects your behavior and physical health.”
- Whether someone is facing a cancer diagnosis, grieving a loss, or navigating mental health challenges, a key part of the healing process is learning to manage intense emotions and building a reliable support network.
- Experts have shared with SurvivorNet that enduring difficult experiences like cancer, especially with strong emotional support, can often lead individuals to develop a deeper appreciation for aspects of life they may have once overlooked.
Legend sang at “The Grace for the World” concert on September 13, in addition to other musical icons, like Andrea Bocelli, Karol G, Pharrell and Voices of Fire.
Read More“Esti loves her daddy!” Legend captioned his adorable post on Instagram, featuring three of his four kids standing around a TV, shaking their heads, and dancing while their dad performed in Vatican City at the “Grace for the World” concert.View this post on Instagram
In the video clip, Legend is seen singing “Glory” on the TV, a performance which is being streamed on Disney+.
His toddler daughter Esti cutely exclaimed, “That’s my Daddy, I love my daddy” while bopping around a living room. Teigen is heard in the video saying, “Get it, Wren … Get it, Miles … Go John!” as all of them rooted for their dad.
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We’re delighted to see their children living it up at home and offering an immense amount of support for their dad, just has Legend had done for his wife throughout her journey to motherhood.
The devoted couple are parents to four children: baby Wren Alexander Stephens, born via surrogate in June 2023; Esti, their daughter born in January 2023; as well as Luna, age seven, and Miles, age five.
However, five years ago, they overcame trauma as Teigen suffered a “pregnancy loss.”
At Propper Daley’s “A Day of Unreasonable Conversation” summit in 2022, Teigen shared that what she had previously described as a miscarriage was, in fact, a medically necessary abortion.
“Two years ago, when I was pregnant with Jack, John and my third child, I had to make a lot of difficult and heartbreaking decisions. It became very clear around halfway through that he would not survive, and that I wouldn’t either without any medical intervention,” Teigen said at the event, according to Entertainment Tonight.
Their son jack was just 20 weeks old when there was a pregnancy issue, which let to “heartbreaking decisions” to help save her own life.
Teigen ultimately told the summit audience, “Let’s just call it what it was: It was an abortion. An abortion to save my life for a baby that had absolutely no chance. And to be honest, I never, ever put that together until, actually, a few months ago.”
She continued, “I told the world we had a miscarriage, the world agreed we had a miscarriage, all the headlines said it was a miscarriage. And I became really frustrated that I didn’t, in the first place, say what it was, and I felt silly that it had taken me over a year to actually understand that we had had an abortion.”
Chrissy Teigen’s Loss, Struggle With Postpartum Depression, & IVF Journey
It’s heartwarming to see Legend and Teigen cherishing meaningful time with their family and expressing gratitude for their loved ones—especially following the pregnancy loss they experienced in 2020 and Teigen’s earlier struggles with postpartum depression.
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On Sept. 30, 2020, Teigen shared a tribute post to her late son, writing, “We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.
“We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.”
She continued, “To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you.
“We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.”
Expert Resources On Support & Coping With Emotions
- Fear, Anger, Anxiety: You’re Entitled To Your Emotions
- Mental Health: Understanding the Three Wellsprings of Vitality
- I Wanted to Be Me Again, But I Also Needed Their Help — Finding That Support System
- 27 Thoughtful Gift Ideas to Support Loved Ones Through a Cancer Journey
- ‘Strong in Cancer’: Navigating New Relationships and Motherhood While Fighting Cancer Is Challenging. We Offer Solutions.
- Cancer Support Groups Aren’t for Everyone — We All Have Our Own Way of Coping
- Stand-Up Comedian & Cancer Caregiver, Jesus Trejo Reminds Us That ‘Laughter is a Game-Changer’
Back in 2017, Teigen opened up about how she also battled postpartum depression, which according to the U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services’ Office On Women’s Health, is “a serious mental health condition that involves the brain and affects your behavior and physical health.”
“‘Postpartum’ means the time after having a baby. Some women get the ‘baby blues,’ or feel sad, worried, or tired within a few days of giving birth. For many women, the baby blues go away in a few days. If these feelings don’t go away or you feel sad, hopeless, or anxious for longer than two weeks, you may have postpartum depression. Feeling hopeless after childbirth is not a regular or expected part of being a mother,” the office explains.
“If you have depression, then sad and hopeless feelings don’t go away and can interfere with your day-to-day life. You might not feel connected to your baby, as if you are not the baby’s mother, or you might not love or care for the baby. These feelings can be mild to severe.”
Teigen suffered postpartum depression after giving birth to her eldest daughter Luna, she previously explained in an essay she wrote for Glamour.
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She wrote, “Let me start here: To a lot of you, I think, I seem like the happiest person on the planet. I have an incredible husband—John and I have been together for over 10 years. He has seen my successes and failures; I’ve seen his. He has seen me at my worst, but I will say I don’t think I have ever seen him at his.
“He’s exactly as compassionate, patient, loving, and understanding as he seems. And I hate it. OK, I don’t hate it. But it can certainly drive you nuts sometimes when you’re as cynical as I am. If I weren’t me, I would politely excuse myself to make the most epic eye roll of all time if a woman talked to me about her significant other the way I just did to you.”
Teigen then offered insight into her struggle with postpartum depression, “I had everything I needed to be happy. And yet, for much of the last year, I felt unhappy. What basically everyone around me, but me, knew up until December was this: I have postpartum depression. How can I feel this way when everything is so great?
“I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with that, and I hesitated to even talk about this, as everything becomes such a “thing.” During pregnancy, what I thought were casual comments about IVF turned into headlines about me choosing the sex of my daughter. And I can already envision what will be said about me after this admission. But it’s such a major part of my life and so, so many other women’s lives. It would feel wrong to write anything else. So here goes.”
As for Teigen’s IVF journey, she previously spoke with The Cut about any apprehensions she may have had before having children.
She said, “You know, we did IVF and it’s kind of crazy because even though you do all this planning and preparation, you take progesterone and inject your body and do all this stuff — and when I finally did get pregnant I was like, Oh crap, are we ready? I think it kind of doesn’t matter whether you do all that preparation or whether it’s a surprise. You still wonder if you’re ready. But then you hear from enough people that you’re never really ready, and you just go for it.
“No, I definitely didn’t have worries like ‘How will we balance it all?’ because I knew that our family kind of thrives on a controlled chaos. I knew we’d be fine, really.”
She continued, “There were no grim things that I came from, where I didn’t know if I would be able to get her through any issues I went through. I’ve had a pretty simple life. I’m very lucky. The depression thing came out of nowhere! And I will say, I’m not even worried about it for this time — because I know what to expect at least.”
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She also recounted how her first round of IVF didn’t work, prompting her to think “Oh, I was on my feet too much, and that’s why,” explaining further, “You just look for anything to blame, especially yourself. I think hearing stories is just really important. You realize there’s no right way to do it, or right way to react.”
Understanding Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression occurs in about one in eight new mothers in the year after childbirth, the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services Office on Women’s Health explains.
The office notes that normal changes that occur after giving birth can result in symptoms similar to those of depression.
If a new mom is experiencing symptoms of depression for more than two weeks, it’s important to contact your doctor.
Symptoms could range from feeling angry, sad, moody, hopeless, guilty, shameful, or eating less or more than normal. Other symptoms could be abnormal crying or sadness, loss of interest in things one used to like doing, thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, and withdrawing from family or friends.
“Some women don’t tell anyone about their symptoms. New mothers may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty about feeling depressed when they are supposed to be happy. They may also worry they will be seen as bad mothers. Any woman can become depressed during pregnancy or after having a baby,” the Office on Women’s Health adds.
“It doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. You don’t have to suffer. There is help. Your doctor can help you figure out whether your symptoms are caused by depression or something else.”
Finding the Support You Need
Through any health struggle, like cancer or fertility, and into the healing period, it’s important to know that you are not alone.
John Legend and his wife are fortunate to have each other, and their four beautiful children, but if you find yourself needing support and you don’t know where to turn, just know that there is help out there. A social worker or life coach can advocate for you and help you navigate community groups of people in similar situations to befriend, or think of a friend or mentor whom you can trust.
“Some people don’t need to go outside of their family and friends’ circle. They feel like they have enough support there,” psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “But for people who feel like they need a little bit more, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional.”
‘My Faith Has Been Very Important’ – Survivor Monica Layton’s Story
Dr. Plutchik also stressed how important it is for people supporting cancer survivors to understand their emotions can vary day-to-day.
“People can have a range of emotions, they can include fear, anger, and these emotions tend to be fluid. They can recede and return based on where someone is in the process,” she explained.
Meanwhile, Dr. Charmain Jackman, a licensed psychologist and founder of InnoPsych, echoes the benefits of positive mental health while facing a health diagnosis.
“In the face of a life-threatening diagnosis, fear, hopelessness, and despair can quickly take space in your mind,” Dr. Jackman explained.
“However, your mindset is a superpower and can be a potent antidote to illness. Practicing gratitude, cultivating joy, and connecting to the community are practical ways to develop a resilient mindset.”
Thriving Through Adversity
Research shows that patients who maintain a positive outlook tend to experience more favorable treatment results. According to experts like Dr. Dana Chase, a gynecologic oncologist with Arizona Oncology, the key is to engage in activities that bring you joy—whatever those may be.
“We know from good studies that emotional health is associated with survival, meaning better quality of life is associated with better outcomes,” Chase told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
“So working on your emotional health, your physical well-being, your social environment [and] your emotional well-being are important and can impact your survival. If that’s related to what activities you do that bring you joy, then you should try to do more of those activities.”
“A positive attitude is really important,” Dr. Zuri Murrell, a colorectal surgeon at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles tells SurvivorNet.
Being diagnosed with cancer often brings a wave of difficult emotions, which is totally natural. Men and women may respond in different ways, feeling anything from anger and fear to shame and anxiety. These reactions are entirely expected. However, seasoned physicians have observed that individuals who acknowledge their emotions and find ways to stay mentally and emotionally resilient often experience better outcomes.
“My patients who thrive, even with stage 4 cancer, from the time that they, about a month after they’re diagnosed, I kind of am pretty good at seeing who is going to be OK,” Dr. Murrell says.
“Now doesn’t that mean I’m good at saying that the cancer won’t grow. But I’m pretty good at telling what kind of patient are going to still have this attitude and probably going to live the longest, even with bad, bad disease. And those are patients who, they have gratitude in life.”
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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