Kate Middleton’s ‘More Positive’ Holiday Season: What to Do for Christmas When Everyone Knows Your Name & You Just Want to Enjoy the Season with Loved Ones While Coping With Your Diagnosis

The holiday season can be particularly challenging for many patients and their families, as cherished traditions often evoke memories of life before the diagnosis. Loved ones may need to adapt their interactions and activities to accommodate ongoing treatments or the patient’s changing abilities, making the season a bittersweet mix of joy and adjustment.

The staffer close to Middleton believes the Royal family will be in a more positive frame of mind this year.

“It will be like any other Christmas, focused on the young family,” the staffer said.

Middleton was diagnosed with cancer after undergoing abdominal surgery earlier this year. The Mother of three received chemotherapy for treatment and coped with one of its most notable side effects – hair loss.

“For cancer patients, losing one’s hair can be unbelievably stressful. To start with, the dread of losing one’s hair can lead to some sleepless nights and feelings of anxiety,” psychiatrist Dr. Samantha Boardman tells SurvivorNet.

Chemotherapy is a common cancer treatment that works by stopping or slowing the growth of cancer cells. Chemo can also help shrink tumors. However, despite its effectiveness, chemotherapy often comes with side effects.

Middleton completed chemo this past September and resumed her royal duties.

 

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Middleton hasn’t specified the exact type of cancer she was diagnosed with.

“Doing what I can to stay cancer-free is now the focus. Although I have finished chemotherapy, my path to healing and full recovery is long, and I must continue to take each day as it comes,” Middleton wrote in an Instagram post.

RELATED: 7 Helpful Tips to Help Your Loved One Battling Cancer During the Holidays

Helping You Cope During the Holidays

Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Marianna Strongin founded Strong In Therapy Psychology. She shared some helpful tips for optimistic patients about the holiday season.

As a cancer patient, how do you navigate when your loved one wants to talk about your cancer? For loved ones, how do you know when the person with cancer wants to discuss their diagnosis or not?

“When talking to loved ones about your preferences and discussing your cancer journey during the holidays, it’s important that you be your authentic self,” Dr. Strongin says.

“So, rather than telling people exactly what you want, it’s important to share why you want that,” Strongin added.

“When we are our most authentic selves and disclose our true feelings, the people around us feel us. So, if you aren’t feeling comfortable talking about your cancer and you don’t want it to be a part of the holiday season, tell them why that is. Tell them why talking about it would be so distressing for you.”

Everyone deals with their diagnosis differently. Some people want to discuss it, while others don’t, and the decision should be respected.

As noted earlier, Middleton is trying to be more optimistic this holiday season. However, keeping a positive mind may not come easily for patients still getting used to their diagnosis.

“For patients going through a difficult moment, it becomes a real lens into what’s happening for them because they can remember the holidays the year before or even the year before,” Dr. Strongin says.

“It becomes a sense of reality when they know that this is going to be the year that’s marked by this (a cancer battle or diagnosis),” Strongin continued.

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Strongin suggests patients try to find a bit of joy as the season becomes more festive. Take advantage of loved ones sharing the holidays with you and do things that make you happy.

“I really challenged (cancer patients) to kind of take this holiday as it is, to find the joy in it, to find ways to accept the reality of where they are in this time and space,” Strongin said.

RELATED: Beauty Advice to Help Women Battling Cancer Look Their Best for the Holidays.

How to Handle the ‘Cancer Conversation’ With Loved Ones Gathered for the Holidays?

“People are uncomfortable around cancer, and there’s a lot of fear, ignorance, misunderstandings, and myths around it,” breast cancer survivor Diane Mapes told SurvivorNet.

Mapes added that a better understanding of what patients are going through can improve communication between them and their family and friends who wish to support them.

If you have family coming over for the holidays and you think you’re ready to discuss your cancer journey, SurvivorNet has put together a helpful guide of Do’s and Don’ts to make the conversation around the holiday table as meaningful and comforting as possible.

• DO Acknowledge the Cancer.
  • You may not know what to say, but the worst thing you can say is…nothing. To start, put the choice of discussing their cancer in their own hands. “The best route is honesty,” says Jennifer Hughes, PhD, a psychologist with McGovern Medical School at UTHealth and UT Physicians in Houston. “Simply say, ‘I don’t know what to say, but do you want to talk about it?’ It gives them the lead.”
• DON’T Assume They Need Help.
  • Don’t assume that someone is going to be weak or sickly if they have cancer, because everyone responds differently,” says Mapes. “One of the things that surprised me about going through cancer treatment, for example, is how I was able to exercise throughout my treatment, and people would often remark that I looked so healthy and strong. Don’t just take over and assume they need things because that’s not fun, either. They mean well, but I used to fight people to do my own laundry!”
• DO Be Specific When Offering Help.
  • Instead of saying, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” think of specific ways you can help and then offer to do them. The former “can feel like an empty promise, and it’s putting the burden on that individual to tell you what they need,” says Hughes. “Instead, try and think of something concrete: driving to an appointment, bringing casserole over, walking their dog.”
• DO Your Research.
  • Educating yourself on the stage and type of your loved one’s cancer can help you avoid potentially awkward moments. “It’s important to know the difference between early and late-stage cancer,” says Mapes. “It’s not a good thing to say, ‘When are you going to be done with treatment?’ to someone with stage four cancer, for example, because the answer to that is, ‘Never.’ Educate yourself on the basics first.”
• DO Keep Platitudes to Yourself.
  • You may believe that everything happens for a reason, but that can be grating for someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. “I think people are trying to be comforting, and that’s what that phrase is meant to do. But just remember that what’s comforting to you might not be comforting to others,” says Mapes. “And while we’re on the subject, let me share my personal pet peeve: When I was going through treatment, I got so sick of people saying, ‘Good luck on your journey, have a good journey.’ That was the lead metaphor at the time, and I can’t tell you how annoying it can be.”
• DON’T Suggest the Latest Cure.
  • “Unless you’re an oncologist, and you’re a better oncologist than the one they already have, don’t preach to them about the latest treatment you’ve read about,” advises Mapes. “Comments like, ‘I knew someone who took shark cartilage or coffee enemas,’ or [sharing] conspiracy theories, are not helpful. Cancer is very complicated.”
• DO Remember that We’re All the Same.
  • The best advice for helping a loved one with cancer is to remember that your friend or family member is the same person he or she always has been. “I haven’t acquired any superpowers since my diagnosis,” says Mapes. People who have cancer aren’t any braver or more noble than they were before. I’m the same person I always was, so treat me that way.”

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