Losing a Loved One To Cancer
- Actor Patrick Duffy lost his wife to cancer five years ago, but was able to find love again with Linda Purl from “Happy Days,” a woman he often spends time with and will soon be performing The Pulitzer Prize winning play, “Love Letters.”
- It’s wonderful to see Duffy found love after loss. His late wife Carlyn Rosser, who he married in 1974, passed away in January 2017 after a battle with cancer at 77. The couple had two sons together.
- Grief is a difficult, truly personal process, something Duffy has shown. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.
- While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief. Faith can also be a powerful coping mechanism for some.
- Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.
Duffy, known for playing Bobby Ewing on the primetime soap opera “Dallas” and Frank Lambert on the sitcom “Step by Step,” initially didn’t plan on finding love again after his wife of 40 years, Carlyn Rosser, passed away from cancer back in 2017, but that changed when he started chatting with Purl at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Seeing Duffy enjoying life with Purl is a prime example of how love after grief is possible.
Read MoreThe play is set for Saturday February 10, 2024, at 7pm in the Orinda Theatre, locating at 2 Orinda Theater Square in Orinda, California.View this post on Instagram
Orinda Theatre’s official website explains, “Love Letters is a play by A. R. Gurney that was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. The play centers on two characters, Melissa Gardner and Andrew Makepeace Ladd III.
“Using the epistolary form sometimes found in novels, they sit side by side at tables and read the notes, letters and cards – in which over nearly 50 years, they discuss their hopes and ambitions, dreams and disappointments, victories and defeats – that have passed between them throughout their separated lives.”
The love Duffy and Purl have for each other radiates in each and every social media post they share, something that’s sure to empower anyone looking for love after loss.
Their upcoming performance comes as they acting duo often promote Duffy’s Dough, a company they created that sells homemade sourdough starter kits. It also follows their recent vacation, which Purl took to Instagram to share.
View this post on Instagram
Duffy and Purl were seen in various photos throughout Mexico, with one image showing them smiling in Patzquaro, which prompted fans to praise the connection they share.
“In the first photo, I can literally FEEL the love in my chest, between y’all!!!!You two look very happy,” one fan wrote.
Another commented, “I just love seeing you both so happy.”
“I love following your journey. Thank you for sharing,” wrote a third.
In another video, posted on Duffy’s Instagram, the actors are seen revealing how they are sharing their love to fans this month.
“Happy Valentine’s Day from Duffy’s Dough. Visit us online for a 20% Valentine’s Day discount. www.duffysdough.com,” Duffy captioned the post.
In the cute video, Duffy is seen brainstorming what to get Purl for Valentine’s Day, revealing she simply wanted a cinnamon bun from Duffy’s Dough.
View this post on Instagram
Patrick Duffy Finds Love After Loss
Duffy shared a long and happy life with his wife Carlyn Rosser, who he married in 1974. She passed away in January 2017 after a battle with cancer at 77. The couple had two sons together and a beautiful love story.
The heartbroken actor previously opened up in an interview with Closer magazine, saying that he knew it was forever from the time they met. He said, “I was an immature college graduate touring as narrator with this dance production, and she was a beautiful ballerina 10 years older. We met on the tour bus and that was, for life.”
More Resources On Coping With Loss
- How to Be Realistically Optimistic: Coping With Mental Health Long-Term
- Dealing With Grief Related to Health Problems
- How to Handle the Emotional Toll of Caring for a Loved One With Cancer: Prioritizing Your Mental Health
- Mental Health: Understanding the Three Wellsprings of Vitality
- Mental Health: Coping With Feelings of Anger
- Mental Health and Cancer — The Fight, Flight or Freeze Response
After his wife’s passing, Duffy was candid about how the loss affected him, telling Closer, “I know what she would expect of me, and I try and live up to that. I feel close to her all the time, [but] what I miss most is her touch.”
“I still consider myself a married man,” Duffy said in 2019, showing us how grieving is an ongoing process, and that it’s good to be patient with yourself as you process your grief after losing a loved one to cancer.
Despite the pain Duffy experienced, he and Purl were brought together in 2020. The two were old friends, and their mutual pals initiated a group text prompting everyone to stay connected during the pandemic.
The group chat led the now-loving duo to reconnect, and shortly after they were chatting just the two of them.
When Duffy felt that he and Purl had more than a friendly connection, he drove to visit the “Happy Days” star, where they quarantined together. “I loaded up my car and drove 20 hours and ended up on her doorstep just to see if it was real. We haven’t been apart since,” he previously recounted to People magazine.
Duffy admitted, “I never thought I’d feel this way again,” noting that he thinks his wife would be happy for him.
“I feel quite honestly, that it is keeping with the desires of my wife, the fact that we are intended to be happy.
“So when it’s offered, think about it, do whatever you do, but don’t let it pass you up if it’s the right thing,” he explained.
Moving Through Grief
Grief is a difficult, truly personal process, something Duffy has shown. Some find solace in vulnerability and sharing how they feel with others.
Following his wife’s death, Duffy tweeted: “On this day 6 months ago my heart stopped yet I live on as she wishes We will be together eternally.”
‘Therapy Saved My Life’: After Losing A Loved One, Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
While working through grief and vulnerable tackling of the emotions that accompany it, some find tools like therapy to be helpful. Support groups can also be a benefit for those who are feeling isolated in their feelings of grief. Faith can also be a powerful coping mechanism for some; Duffy previously spoke about how his Buddhist faith helped him deal with his feelings of loss.
Whichever methods of support you look for after cancer loss, you should know that there is no correct way to grieve. There is no perfect timeline for grieving, either.
Surviving the Loss of a Partner
Fighting your own cancer battle is one of the toughest experiences in life; watching the disease take someone you love is a different kind of pain. In some cases, a spouse with cancer can take proactive steps to talk about what might come after.
“She wanted to make sure that I knew that it was OK, she really wanted me to have another relationship after she was gone,” one widower told SurvivorNet in an earlier interview.
Meanwhile, John Duberstein lost his wife, writer Nina Riggs, to metastatic triple negative breast cancer. He says that while he was watching her suffer from the disease, he couldn’t help but wish things could go back to normal … but Riggs had already embraced her new normal.
RELATED: The Toughest Conversations: Losing a Spouse to Cancer
“I really wanted things to go back to normal, whatever that meant,” Duberstein told SurvivorNet. “She was not for that. She wanted to embrace the existence that she had, even before she knew she was going to die imminently. I did not want to talk about what was going to happen with me after Nina died. Nina is the one that really brought it up, she brought it up a number of times.”
Dating After Cancer; Getting Intimate with the New You
Duberstein explained that even with the pain of losing his wife, and even though he didn’t want to talk about it at the time, he’s so glad they had those seemingly uncomfortable conversations. “In retrospect, I can’t even explain how glad I am that I had that.”
This is a reminder that having those uncomfortable and painful conversations with your partner can be fundamental to your well-being as you move forward in the grieving process, alleviating the guilt felt in starting to date again, and/or eventually marry.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff
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